Teacher’s Top Ten

This list was shared by my friend Lizann, also a teacher. Sooo true. (Though she is done with school. And I am not. It's a wonder I'm still speaking to her.)

Top 10 ways to know you are ready for school to end
(and a little editorializing from moi):

10. You are so tired, you want to answer students' questions with "shut up."
(I'm not proud, as this is a banned word in my classroom, but this happened to
me JUST this week. And it felt AWESOME.)

9. Your friends call to ask how you've been and you immediately scream “Stop asking me these questions!” (What? What teacher is capable of phone conversation at this point?)

8. Your garbage can is now your “Inbox.” (Or in my case, every email I get that doesn't say “free food in lounge” or “you can leave early today” automatically gets deleted.)
7. You wake up to discover your classroom is one fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care. (So not true. I would definitely save myself.)

6. You consider a 40 hour work week a vacation. (Oh…I'm expected to still be working? Right, right. I knew that.)

5. Visions of the upcoming summer and sleeping in help you make it through Monday. (Actually I've been sleeping in the last few weeks. I just want to practice before summer starts.)

4. You don't set your alarm anymore because you just don't care if you're late or not. (See no. 5) (Though I did have to show up early for work today. I had double meetings this morning. And NOBODY brought donuts or pastries. What kind of institution of learning is this? Isn't “providing unhealthy, high sugar food for meetings” covered in No Child Left Behind?)

3. The next kid who asks you for a pencil is going to hear “Don't you have anything? Do you see Wal Mart tattooed on my forehead?” (Um…no. My kids have the skills and tools to see that happen. Not gonna risk that one.)

2. Your day timer/work planner exploded a week ago. (DayTimer? Planner? BWA-HA-HA!!! That's a good one.)

1. You fantasize about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now. (After this last week of smelling fetal pig dissection from the classrooms on either side of me, definitely.)

Jenny B Jones
 

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Heather - June 2, 2007

I believe my sleep has reached advanced status on Saturdays. I need to improve on my weekdays. I will begin to speak to Lizann again on Tuesday. Not before.

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