Halloween is a holiday that many Christians do not take part in. Some say it promotes evil and darkness.

In my family, we think it promotes candy.

But it’s not like we’d ever let our young family members wear ghoulish costumes. No, if we did participate in Halloween, we’d dress them up in cute, positive outfits that reflect light! And joy!

Oops. Okay, so this one slid by us. This is my uber spooky newphew, Hardy. But how can you say no to that face, right? That is a face you want to give candy to.

But it’s not like we’d let my two year old niece wear anything creepy. Maybe an angel costume or a princess?

WHAT? She’s adorable. Okay, she’s a witch, but did you check out the tights? You cannot pass those up. And the princess costumes did not have cute, stripey tights and accessories. Stripey tights + cute pointy hat= more candy for her aunt!

So In Between is on a poster for Arkansas Year of the Book! The nice people in Little Rock sent me a copy of it.

Here’s a closer shot, where you can see Katie Parker hanging out with dignitaries, such as LBJ (kids, that’s a former P-R-E-S-I-D-E-N-T).

She’s also on the poster with a guy who wrote a book who wants to be president.

But this one is especially cool, because In Between shares poster-space with a book about the Little Rock Nine, by LR9er, Elizabeth Jacoway. \

I haven’t read Elizabeth’s book, but if you haven’t read the book Warriors Don’t Cry, by Melba Patillo Beals, a true account of the integration of Central in Little Rock, you so need to. I’m all about me some fluff reading, and this isn’t it, and I still loved the book.

So thank you state of Arkansas for putting my Katie Parker, LBJ, and Mike Huckabee on the same poster. It’s an honor to share space on paper products with you.

Hope your Halloween or alternative holiday of positivity was great. Today we had some students dress up, including two ninth graders in the inflatable sumo wrestler suits. I saw one go into the bathroom, and I thought…I don’t even want to know.

I should so be editing right now. So behind.
But I just got back from a full night of parent-teacher conferences, and more work is the last thing I feel like doing. Vegging out in front of the TV and watching some E! or Conan sounds so much better. (but I will edit anyway…)

It’s been fun to read the reviews coming in on On the Loose. You can read the latest one here.

Funny that Jamie, the kind reviewer, mentions having a nightmare about her high school PE teacher. PE was a humbling experience for me in junior high (Or was it middle school? It’s all a tragic blur). I’ve always been about justice and “fair.” So in middle school we had to do basketball ALL YEAR in PE. I HATED basketball. I STUNK at basketball. And it wasn’t fair that we did it just so the “pee-wee” team could practice. So I wrote a note to the two teachers. (who were actually seniors covering the class, which was totally illegal, and it’s a good thing I didn’t know that or else I would’ve called in the big guns like Jesse Jackson or our governor, a dude named Bill Clinton.) So anyway, I wrote this angst-ridden note listing all the reasons my Constitutional rights as a receiver of public education were being abused. But I wrote it on paper from my BFF’s mom’s office. My BFF’s mom worked for a proctologist. It was not one of my finer moments. It’s hard to take a girl seriously when she’s giving you what-for on a piece of paper from the butt doctor. They’re right, presentation is everything.

Anyway, I’m going back to editing. And if you’ve read On the Loose, I would love for you to stop by Christianbook.com, Amazon, or BarnesandNoble.com and write a review (good, bad, or ugly…I can take it.) Though I might write you back…on paper from the proctologist.

Friends, neighbors, and random people I’ve never met…
We are gathered here today to say goodbye to an old, dear, dear friend.
Black Dishwasher Number One.

Black Dishwasher Number One, or BDNO, to those who knew him best, was an overworked soul. He tried in all things, even when he didn’t feel like it. I have learned many things from knowing BDNO. Things such as eating off a plate with a little bit of caked on food that has been through the heat cycle, but still didn’t come off, is not going to kill you. That after many, many visits with the doctor, sometimes you just have to give it up and rest. As in eternal rest. And that if you have dishes that could not survive BDNO’s weak wrath, then they were not worth having in the first place.

It was good while it lasted, Black Dishwasher Number One, and I appreciate your hard work, your valiant heart, and your love for liquid over powder detergent. We had some good years together, but alas, it was time for both of us to move on. Me, to Black Dishwasher Number Two, and you to…I dunno, some heap that’s probably breaking an OSHA code or two at Lowe’s.

Remember me fondly, as I will you…while I’m eating off of dishes that are 100 percent clean and sanitary.

Onto another heap…as in a HEAP-O-CUTENESS!!! Check out my totally cute niece at her second birthday.
She didn’t really say much at her party. She’s very quiet, reserved, and dignified (we are so alike in that way). But we all heard at least three words: Care Bear movie! She is so into the Care Bears. Those computer generated charlatans. Those aren’t the REAL Care Bears. The real ones were cartoons. Seeing classics such as Scooby Doo and others in CGI form is just a real travesty and further proof of the deterioration of our great nation. But is anyone giving this any attention? No. Obama? Nope. Mrs. Clinton? Nope. Giuliani? Negatory. So listen up, America, when you go to the ballots, please remember there are other things at stake than the price of oil, plunging real estate losses, and war. It’s time to recapture what made our great nation what it was–quality, faded looking, poorly written cartoons. I don’t know if there is anything about it in the Constitution, but if it’s not covered there, I think it might be in the Declaration of Independence or one of those old treaty thingies. Bring back American values–bring back real cartoons.

Thank you and God bless America!

So I’m stressed. I have a lot going on and nothing getting done. Plus all my neighbors are outdoing me on the Halloween decor. Maybe cuz I have nothing up. But I think the cobwebs and dead plants near my porch add a nice touch.

What do you do when you’re stressed? This week I’ve been aware that I have a few habits during these anxious hours, days, or months not belonging to summer break.

1. I make poor clothing choices. When you’re mulling over bigger things like a cure for curly hair or the answer to world peace, you don’t want to be bothered with coordinating outfits! This week it’s been khakis every day. And some ugly shirt. Ugly matches everything.

2. My hair goes up. I don’t know why, but I get to school, and it’s down for about ten minutes before I grab a ponytail holder or clip and whip it on top of my head. It’s like it’s very existence annoys me. “Get out of my sight!” Maybe it helps with the whole schoolmarm thing anyway. I just need some black, orthopedic shoes to go with it.

3. Speaking of orthopedic shoes, I don’t wear them, but when I’m Senorita Stressball, I do like comfortable shoes. Why can’t we wear slippers to work? What’s the harm, really? Nothing says, “I’m productive!” like overstuffed, furry, two-times-my foot-size house shoes.

4. I eat. For lunch today I had a chicken salad sandwich from Arby’s (love those things!), popcorn, and disgusting candy corn. There is some nutritional value though. The chicken had grapes and apples in it (along with a piece of fuzz–that didn’t belong to me), and candy CORN. Sugar shaped in the form of corn SCREAMS healthy, don’t you agree?

5. I try to smile. And I usually fail, but this new commercial by MasterCard pulls the cheeks up every time.

6. I waste time. Why make a list of to-do items? Sure, it might lighten your mental load, but is it fun? No. Thanks to my good friend Erin, I know THIS is fun.

This too shall pass. But in the meantime, I must get to item number seven.

7. I take naps.

So last week I colored my hair. And due to reasons that would totally bore you, I can no longer use salon or drug store type of hair color. (It’s tragic really.) So now if I want my hair colored, I have to use henna. Henna is what gives people those fake, red looking tattoos. And if you don’t want your hair the color of a fake, red tattoo, the color of a pumpkin or GREEN, you have to add some other “natural” stuff to it. I finally worked up my nerve to play chemist and mix my ingredients.
Here’s what the henna looks like. A nice poop brown.

And then you mix some other stuff with it so it doesn’t turn orange or fire engine red, and here’s what that looked like.

Green. Very, very green. And I put it on my hair anyway!
And then it didn’t help that when you mixed it with water, per the instructions, it smelled like…I dunno. Like a landfill of rotten, cooked spinach. I seriously started heaving and gagging, with tears pouring out of my eyes. It was THAT bad.
So naturally I stuck a cotton ball up each nostril.
I almost took a picture of that, but I do have some dignity.

Anyway I had to sit there with cotton products up my schnoz for over an hour. It was disgusting. But I’m happy to report it actually worked. And I didn’t even suck the cotton balls up my nasal passages. All in all, a successful evening. Because if I’d had to go to the ER for something stuck up my nose, I’m not sure how I would’ve explained that. And by the way, I appreciate all the new people who have stopped by the blog. Please do not let this little gross interlude dissuade you from returning.

So now you know what’s I’m putting on my hair.
Here’s what I just finished reading:

It’s so good. I highly recommend it. It takes a lot for a book to make me LOL, but this book totally made me LOL, and I guarantee it will have you LOLing all over the place as well. It’s chock-full of LOLs.

And here’s what I’m now reading:

Here’s what I’m listening to in the car:

This helps me take my attention off of the mind-numbing traffic in my area. It stops me from rolling down my window and screaming bad things to people who don’t drive correctly and like to use their brakes too much.

Here’s what I’m looking forward to listening to:

People tell me we look like twins. So alike. Of course these are people who also stick cotton balls up their nose. And not because they’re coloring their hair.

Here’s what I’m listening to when I run:

Well, that’s enough about me. I’m boring myself.
Back to writing and my rainy Monday.