I keep a running list of things my students say that crack me up (and usually it’s a laughing on the inside sort of thing). Thought I’d share a few. Beware though–they might make you want to become a teacher. (I’ll send you my pay stub if the temptation becomes too strong.)

If you had one super power, what would it be?
Student: I’d have meat vision.

Who’s your hero?
Student: Mario from Nintendo. He scores the princess all the time.

What’s a good deed you’ve done lately?
Student: I didn’t drop kick my brother last night.

What’s an improvement you’d make to the school?
British Student: Employ some mums to cook in the cafeteria.

You’ve just won millions in the lottery. What’s the first thing you’d do for someone else?
Student 1: A homeless shelter for those in need.
Student 2: A box. For my mom.
Student 3: Lipo and a brain transplant for an ugly, dumb chick.

What’s your favorite possession?
Student: A light saber.

You can have absolutely anything you want for dessert. What do you choose?
Student: Pudding.

Random Quotes:
“I just found out a girl named Guadalupe stole my Frosted Flakes. . . I think it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“The Family Channel’s 25 Days of Christmas—that’s why I was put on this earth.”

“I know the Heimlich Remover.”

“Ms. Jones, have you ever had rhinoplasty?”

“I know I have fresh breath. Who wants to smell?”

“Potty words in cheers. We have to get rid of potty words in cheers.”

Me: “You could begin your speech with a shocking statement.”
Student: “Like poop is tasty?”

Have a great week.

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