So last Thursday night was a big outdoor concert at our Razorback Stadium. We waited outside in the heat for HOURS. I was sitting on the concrete and a woman behind me said, “What are you reading?” She reaches INTO my purse and pulls out my book. This might’ve offended some people, but if you knew what the inside of my purse looked like you’d know that anyone sticking their hand in there is risking pulling back a nub. It’s like sticking your hand inside the mouth of a Pit Bull. DANGEROUS. (Luckily she survived)

So she saw my Stephanie Plum book and we struck up a conversation about it. She, too, thinks it should be made into a movie. But the author refuses to let anyone make movies of her books, which is sad because these books play out like a movie in your head. Even more than seeing them made into movies, I want to BE in the movies. I totally want the part of Lula, the Plus-size, spandex wearing African American reformed hooker. But I’m not plus-sized. I’m so white I’m blinding, and no matter what it says on the bathroom wall at my old high school, I don’t know much about ho’ing.

As mentioned LOTS of cheering goes on at these Wal-Mart concerts. Especially from the international groups there. Here’s a lady from ASDA, the Wal-Mart of the UK (where Queen Elizabeth buys her knee-highs and Depends).

Lots of flags at these things. This girl got tired of carrying hers.

This guy is proud of his heritage.

I probably would’ve picked a less windy day to be showing my pride. We had strange, never-seen-before hurricane winds in AR that night. Hope he had his bloomers on.

Saw Carrie Underwood there. But she’s so little, I thought the winds might pick her up and take her back to Oklahoma. She’s extended her tour, so if you can catch her, I would. Really like her. Even if she does have toned arms and I don’t. Whatever.

Keith Urban is probably one of my favorite concerts. He’s right up there with Chris Tomlin.

Some people you can see once and know you’re done. With Keith Urban, it’s an experience, and you could see him every year (or every day) and still be totally psyched to be at the concert. This guy is passionate about what he does and it shows. He also gave his guitar away. Sadly, not to me.

On Friday it’s not all stars and free donuts. They do have some business to attend to. So in between celeb appearances, Wal-Mart gets down to business. I really enjoyed their meeting actually. I can now sleep better at night knowing they are handling my ONE SHARE with such good care. BUT…when they break out the charts and graphs, I’m gone.

There is nothing that loses my attention faster than charts and graphs. It makes me feel like this person:

But I did come out of my statistic-induced coma for HIM…

He sang his new song (which I honestly don’t like. Rockers do NOT sing about rainbows, okay? Leave that stuff to Clay Aiken.) and another tune. He did a great job. He had to be nervous. I know I would be nervous surrounded by tens of thousands of people who are hyped up on unlimited caffeine, have had three packs of chocolate donuts, two packs of Cheez-its, one thing of M&Ms, a few granola bars that have the calorie content of a Happy Meal, and just sat through charts and graphs. I seriously think he was singing for me, but maybe he was just lusting after the Snickers I had in each hand.

And this FINALLY concludes my week of Shareholder events. Thank you Wal-Mart. Thank you Sam’s Club. Thank you flashing kilt guy.

JEN

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