Celebrity Withdrawal and Dairy Miracles

I haven’t seen a famous person in over a week, and I’m going through withdrawals. I take that back–I was at a wedding Saturday and saw a pro football player, and even though everyone else around me was in awe, I was like, “WHO?” I don’t know if he was famous, but I do know he could’ve squashed me like a bug with one hand. Big guy. Could’ve been a stunt double for the Hulk.

I get my laptop back today. My laptop had to go to the Dell doctor for a minor problem. We haven’t ever been separated in the year we’ve been together, so it’s been hard. I should probably throw a welcome home party or something.

So yeah, the braces. I think they are just for the summer. I had braces just a few years ago, and you forget the little nuances of wearing them. I forgot that I always had to cut everything I ate into little pieces to cut down on getting stuff stuck in them. So on day two last week, I’m eating a salad (luckily at home), and I happen to walk by a mirror later, and there hanging out of my braces is like a whole package of spinach.

My ortho said I was a “good sport” for getting them on again and to reward me gave me the clear braces. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE KIDDING? There is still nothing clear about these things. We all see them. We all know they’re there (especially when you have shrubbery sticking out of them). But it was a nice gesture all the same.

My ortho got a new space-age office. It is FAN-CEE. You walk in and it’s all brown and green and metal and stuff. And there’s a wall-size waterfall on your right to soothe your braces-getting nerves. Flat screens everywhere. But the best part…is the new refreshment area. There’s a small fridge of drinks. There’s a cool Starbucks coffee dispenser. But the coolest…

There’s an ice cream machine!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I’d wear braces every day for that! This thing is the coolest. It’s about the size of a dorm refrigerator. It’s PERFECT. I want one for Christmas! (of course I’ve been asking for a chocolate fountain for years and Santa has YET to bring that.)

By the way, this blog is turning me into a total wack-job. I saw the ice cream machine as I was sitting on the opposite side of the space-age lobby, remembered I had my camera, and KNEW I had to get a picture. So I stare down everyone in the lobby, wait for JUST the right time when no one is looking…get out my camera, check lobby folk again, zoom in, and snap! Then knowing everyone saw the flash, I shove the camera under my purse and stare at CNN on the flat screen like I’ve been engrossed in the story all along, total innocence on my face. I’m a total photo deviant. Flash? What flash? I didn’t notice anything. Who would take a picture in the orthodontist’s office? That’s crazy. I’m sure!

I gotta go get ready for my laptop’s homecoming. Reunited and it feels so good…

JEN

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6 comments

6 Comments so far

  1. Debbie June 17th, 2008 11:53 am

    Ice cream machine?!?! All I ever get is a new toothbrush. -sigh-

  2. Julia June 17th, 2008 2:38 pm

    my ortho has a cool coffee machine and my mom decided to bring her coffee mug from home to get coffee from it…

  3. Timothy Fish June 17th, 2008 5:46 pm

    Are they serving that new toothpaste flavored ice cream?

  4. Gracie June 17th, 2008 5:48 pm

    You have the best dentist ever! Starbucks?? Ice-cream?? My dentist probably doesn’t know what a cappuchino is. And the smell in his office…ugh. It’s like someone whitewashed the walls with novicane. You don’t know how blessed you are that your dentist lets you lick frosted chocolate while he works on your teeth.

    Glad that you’ll be getting your laptop back soon. It’s horrible to be seperated from the Internet.

    Blessings!

  5. Brynhildur Rhian Orenthiel June 17th, 2008 5:50 pm

    They do that so your teeth will rot and you’ll keep having to come back.

  6. jen June 20th, 2008 11:34 pm

    Okay, he’s not a dentist! Where is my braces sympathy here? He’s an orthodontist! As in this is my SECOND round of braces in the last few years!!!!

    But still…kinda worth the ice cream.

    Dentist offices do stink, don’t they? My old dentist not only had a stinky office, but he had the worst eighties decor. Nappy carpet. Horrible wallpaper–different paper in every room. It made my teeth hurt just to look at it.

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