Happy Halloween for those of you who participate! Happy Day of Candy for those of you who do not. Either way, I like to reflect back on good quality art during this season.

And if you want to dance along to Thriller (and who doesn’t), you’ll want to check this out:

If you’re not down with Halloween, it’s okay. Because November provides a holiday for all of us. It’s National No Shaving Month! YAY! I think this was originally a festival for the menfolk, but why should they celebrate alone? Who’s in the challenge with me?

If you are a book reviewer and blogger (a blogewer), then check out the new program by Thomas Nelson HERE. I think this is an awesome idea. You know what else Thomas Nelson is doing that makes me green with envy? They have instituted a jeans policy. The idea is that it boosts morale and saves the employees time and money. I have been pushing this idea for over a DECADE!!! Sadly, people think teachers need to dress all professional and stuff. It’s so lame! I am totally going to fill out a job application for Thomas Nelson though. I would relocate to Tennessee and scrub toilets in order to wear jeans every day. I don’t know when I became such a (wannabe) lazy dresser, but I blame it on the grunge period of the nineties, which I embraced with my full being. In fact, just this week I tossed out my favorite XL quilted flannel shirt circa 1994.

I think I’m going to brave it and go see High School Musical 3 this weekend. Has anyone seen it? I heard it wasn’t that bad. I am hopefully taking my nephew, so in case anyone sees me I can say, “Oh, he wanted to see it. The sacrifices I make. . .” My mom wants to see it too, so we’ll suffer for my nephew together. But in even better movie news, Madagascar II comes out next Friday!!! And then in a few MORE weeks, it’s Twilight. What a great month November is. A whole month of hairy legs AND some good movies!

Thanks for the book recommendations, by the way. Right now I’m trying to read this one:

I want to like it. I really, really do. It has a great cover, and that has to count for something. It’s just not fast enough for me. Lots of pretty words and phrases, but like…too many, you know? And not one joke yet. Sigh. It’s a burden having immature taste in reading and entertainment. Did I mention the uneven socks on the cover drive me nuts? This is why I will never win a Pulitzer. Plus if I was nominated for one, I’d be at home in my jeans watching Ugly Betty and Dawson’s Creek reruns.

Congrats to my good friend Jessica and her husband Jason. They are the proud parents of Taylor Autumn. After a marathon-o-labor, they finally have their baby girl, who will join her two older sisters. Who are Labrador Retrievers. If Jason and Jessica can train the labs, I know parenthood will be a snap.

Have a great weekend. Eat some candy. Candy corn is never any fresher than it is in the month of October. For reals.

JEN

9 comments

We have a winner for Murder on the ‘Ol Bunions. Congrats, Sherri, Queen Coupon Clipper! Just email me with your home addy, and I will get that book out to you.

I made it through another year of parent-teacher conferences and lived to tell about it. Actually I won’t be telling about it. But I did have one crazy moment. Which I can’t share because I’m all professional. And stuff.

Even though I’m a sports idiot, somehow I found this story. This is Mike Singletary, the 49′ers coach, who told a player to hit the showers during a game, refusing to play him anymore. In this age of indulged athletes (and ninth graders…and pop stars…and politicians…), I really liked what he said at his press conference. Skip to minute 1.50 and just watch for a minute or so.

Did you know Hilary Duff is making a new CD? It’s her greatest hits. Should be a short CD. But Eonline wrote an article about her new video, a cover of a Depeche Mode song from the 80s (No, Hilary! No! How could you?) and titled the article simply “New Hilary Duff Music Video is Really Uncomfortable.” And it is. I watched it, and it made me feel icky inside. I had to cleanse my mental palate with some happier, wholesomer things like this:

Did you know Obama is encouraging people to take the day off on November fourth to vote and work the campaign? McCain said that was a totally ridiculous idea, and that Americans should be all responsible and go to work and school. Is it just me or is somebody being a drag? I mean, I’ve already voted, but taking the day off…not a bad idea. Wouldn’t it be cool if we got a National Day Off to Vote (or watch TV)? That would be awesome. We could just vote and then spend the rest of the day reflecting on our liberties and freedoms. Just reflecting. Maybe at the mall. Or on the couch.

Have you ever read the book Walter the Farting Dog? Um, because it’s just about the best book ever. I don’t know why it hasn’t won a Pulitzer. In fact, I recently bought my nephew this book. My brother was really impressed with my aunting skills as usual. But it’s a great book. And now it’s gonna be a great movie! And if a movie about a dog–nay, a farting dog–won’t get you to this flick, how about adding in the Jonas Brothers? Because what’s the first thing you think of when you hear “farting dog?” The Brothers Jonas! There’s Nick and Joe. Jermaine. . .Tito . It’s a very short book, so I’m wondering how they are going to stretch that storyline into 90 minutes or so. Probably with lots of sound effects.

Have a great day. I’m totally burned out from conferences and a lack of real food, so I’m going to read my new Gluten Free cookbook (with recipes that will end up tasting like EATING the cookbook), and go to bed early.

Whether you take the day off or not (and I vote you do), be sure and plan to vote on November 4th. This is your PSA for October.

JEN

2 comments

Please send a few prayers, hail Mary’s, and positive thoughts my way. I have two (yes, TWO) nights in a row of parent/teacher conferences. Can I just be honest and tell you that teachers rate p/t conferences right up there with gouging out our own eyeballs.  It’s not a good time. And they’re only feeding us one of the two nights. I guess we are only 50 percent worthy of food. Is there a union I can join for my meal complaints?

In light of p/t conferences, I would like to offer a few tips.

1. Bring me candy. I don’t change grades, and yes, I’ve been asked plenty of times by coaches, students, AND parents. But then again, not one time was there an accompanying twenty spot or so much as a glimpse of a Twix.

2. Don’t gripe your kid or mother out in front of me. Confrontation makes me VERY uncomfortable, and I break out in that weird neck-rash skin plague. If I wanted a ring-side seat to crazy drama, I’d be home watching DVR’d episodes of General Hospital and Desperate Housewives. Yelling at your kid in front of the teacher will not save face. It makes me write down notes about you in my gradebook when you finally walk away. And it makes me chug down unacceptable amounts of Diet Coke afterwards.And then I won’t be able to sleep due to the excessive caffeine in my blood, then I will wake up the next day mad at you anew. And puffy faced to boot.

3. Students should not do the split personality gig. I love it when a total Rottweiler of a child comes to the conference with Mom or Dad and is a complete angel. I will call you out and say things like, “Who are you and what have you done with your demonic alter ego?”

4. Do not approach my table or room if I’m eating. It’s just rude. And maybe that sandwich DOES last me the entire four hours of conference time, but do I stop and chat at YOUR dinner time? Excuse me for wanting to savor my sub.

5. Do us both a favor. Stay home and email me. I promise everything I say in the email…I’m gonna say in the live conference. I only tell you this because I care about you in these hard economic times. That trip to the conference (especially if you decide to get crazy and go both nights) costs you gas. An email? Free!

6. Don’t be offended if I don’t know your kid’s name. Even though we’ve been in school for 10 weeks. This is a freakish year of students all looking alike and having rhyming names like Tyler, Kyler, Haley, and Kaley. Not to mention 70 percent of my girls are named Kennedy. So this year I just decided to call all my students “Hey, ninth grader.”  I asked the school board to let me tattoo students’ names on their head, but they wouldn’t go for it.

7. I like Starbucks. Just something I thought I’d throw out there. . .

8. If you have a teacher complaint that is best delivered in loud decibels, I need you to make an appointment. With someone who is not me.

9. If your kid is failing, there is nothing you can say that is going to impress me or convince me that it’s my fault, George Bush’s fault, the rotation of the planets, or junior’s ADHD. My generation INVENTED ADD.

10. I just found the TV show Chuck. I’m missing the second episode to be in four (of EIGHT total) hours of conferencing, and I’m a little emotional about it. And I might choose to talk about this show instead of other “important things.” Like your kid. And grades. And passing my class. And graduating high school.

11. Whatever I’m wearing, know that I hate it after being in it for 12-13 hours, and I’m really uncomfortable and dying to be in sweats.  Not to mention I’m sure my feet will be killing me, as they don’t make shoes that can go that distance. Except for those SAS shoes my grandma used to wear. And wearing those would just take me straight from crabby to shrieking psychotic shrew.

12. Other than that, see you there! I can’t wait!

Actually after every conference I always go, “That wasn’t that bad.”

But I’d rather be home carving pumpkins. Like this lady! Check it OUT and scroll down the page.

Have a great Monday.

JEN

14 comments

I mentioned this book earlier in the week, but if you would like to win a copy of Murder on the ‘ol Bunions, then leave a comment between now and Monday. I will announce the winner next Wednesday.

So I totally voted this week. Thank God that’s over.

I was so focused on the big things to vote for that I was taken totally unaware of things that would ALSO be on the ballot. Who knows what I voted for. Actually I had to leave some things blank. But one Arkansas Amendment I didn’t leave blank was the one that said, “Idiots and the insane should not get to vote.” I won’t tell you how I voted on it, but let’s just say I’m not sure that I’ll qualify to cast my ballot next year. Seriously, what the heck does that even mean? Idiots? Do they know how many people in Arkansas that would eliminate?  So I guess idiots won’t get to vote, but apparently they can still run for office. With that in mind, check out this AARP video.

So this is totally legit, but if you go HERE to Campbell’s Soup and click on the small barn icon on the top right, you can help support Future Farmers of America. I’ve clicked a few times! FFA is a great organization and one of the largest growing groups in high school. And it ain’t just for boys and cows anymore.

Sometimes do you just sit around and think, “I wonder how we’re going to fix the economy. I also wonder how Posh Spice would look like as a fierce Indian bride.” Well, wonder no more. For at least one of those.

Apparently Rob Pattinson, aka Edward Cullen of Twilight, got mobbed in Mexico. Maybe THAT explains his hair.

I have a note to myself to blog about jeans, but I have no idea what that even means. Maybe that was my laundry list. . .

Right now I’m trying to read some YA as well as a book on writing. A book I just read that is neither one of those is this

It’s a light little series about a crime solving lady who’s a former Nicole Richie type, and even though she’s broke, she still hobnobs with the elite. It was pretty good. And I didn’t know who did it until the very end, which was well done. Though the ending itself was a cheap cop-out. My super smart editor would have NEVER let me get away with this cheap ending. I’ve mentioned before how my editor Jamie is really into reality and stuff that I tend to ignore. One time I tried to give Katie Parker three arms in a scene from On the Loose, and she would not go for it. And in that same book I had a scene in which Katie and the family were skiing in February. Um…that didn’t fly either.

I’m now going to read this book:

Book of a Thousand Days is a YA novel by the author of Goose Girl, which I also haven’t read but really want to. But flipping through this book I have noticed it’s a little fantasy-ish with all sorts of fantasy-ish names like Saren and Dashti. I get really lost and confused when authors start making up names and universes and their own little language, so I hope I can get through this book. I will let you know. If I ever write a fantasy novel the characters will be like Bill, Susie, Mike, and Tina. You know…normal names. Names with an appropriate balance of consonants and vowels. Names that don’t sound like communicable diseases you find on posters in the health department.

If you’ve read anything good lately, let me know. I need to branch out and stop reading Nora Roberts and Seventeen magazine. Don’t forget to leave a comment between now and next Monday to win a copy of Muder on the ‘Ol Bunions. Because any book with a foot deformation reference has to be good, right?

Have a fabu weekend.
JEN

4 comments

So apparently there is this portion of my blog program that holds some comments in a special vault until I come in and search them like a TSA agent.  I just found  them today! ACK! It was like finding five bucks in your coat though. So for those of you who have left messages and they never showed up…I know why. Apparently if you put in a web link, then I have to approve the comment before it posts. But seeing as how I never read the instruction manual to anything (just ask the dishwasher repair guy who came out yesterday…for no reason), I did not know of this phenomena and my commentary responsibilities. And I have missed some good links too!

So quickly I wanted to comment on the lost comments. Allie, I hope you had fun on your “fall flippin retreat.” And I’m proud of you for calling your senators. Next time you do though, please have a care and remember to mention we want the old Facebook back and teacher sweat uniforms.

Natalie, I am so envious of you for knowing a guy who can snort a necklace up his nose and pull it out his mouth. THAT is a great fellow. (Do you have photographic proof you could send??)  AND Natalie, this Strong Bad character is new to me! Thanks for the YouTube clip! Check it out!

That was fangoriously funny! “Beth looks like a dude…”

Then Amy mentioned that my saying I was going to throw myself in front of a bus over some stress reminded her of a certain touching, poignant LOST clip.

You’re right Amy, that looked kinda painful. Maybe on stressful days I’ll just say I’d rather throw myself in front of a ten speed.

On Monday night I was avoiding writing enjoying a nice calm evening at home, and I flipped on the TV. There was this show, and I thought, “Oh, it’s that Dexter show. I’ll just watch 15 minutes of it to see what all the hype and hoopla is about.” I’ve been hearing about this show about a serial killer who kills other murderers. So about TEN minutes into it, I’ve laughed a few times, and I think, “Should I find this serial killer charming? Should he be funny? What is wrong with me?” And then I notice his possible love interest, and I start thinking, “Who would date a serial killer? Why?!”  And then some other stuff happens that just doesn’t add up…and I realize I’m not watching Dexter. I’m watching Chuck.  I really liked it!  Do you guys watch it? Chuck is about this guy who basically works on the Geek Squad at a Best Buy sort of place. And somehow he gets CIA microchip implanted in his brain, and whenever a bad guy crosses his path, he sees all their information. So the CIA start using him, and someone is out to kill him, and he still works as a Geek, but also for the CIA. AND other undercover agents weave themselves into his life to solve cases and use his brain and protect him. Like the girl posing as his girlfriend is actually an agent. But they are totally crushing on each other. It was good!

On Saturday I went to one of the many arts and crafts fairs in the area. It happens every year. Traffic during this weekend in October is insane. They used to shut down school, but no more. (If anyone from my district is reading this, I think closure was a very wise choice, and maybe we should revisit that grand tradition.)

I went to a local craft show just to get outside with the family. This is a bad picture, but there were trees as far as the eye could see.

And more trees…and SUVs

It’s a very informal affair. Lots of jewelry, handbags, and candles. The occasional doily or two. You can never have too many doilies or toilet paper cozies. My mom, aunt, and nephew are pictured below.

Some people like to dress alike so they can easily find one another.

“Cora Mae, where is our Taurus?”    “I don’t know, Earl. I’ve got a Kettle Korn hull stuck in my dentures.”

Be sure and check out below my signature line. There is a summary and link to a sample chapter of Murder on the ‘‘Ol Bunions. This is a quick read, and I guess what people are calling a cozy mystery. I enjoyed the book. If you like down home Southern characters, you might give this a try. The main character made me smile and had a few nice one-liners.

Have a great rest of the week.

JEN

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Murder on The Ol’ Bunions
Barbour Publishing, Inc (2008)
by
S. Dionne Moore

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

SAndra has been writing for years with historicals being her main focus. By the time she had a polished manuscript in hand, historicals were unpopular. She didn’t give up though and decided to try her hand at writing a mystery. A cozy mystery.

Her first book, Murder on The Ol’ Bunions , released in April of 2008. Book two of the LaTisha Barnhart Mystery series, Polly Dent Loses Grip, and book three, Eat, Drink and Be Buried will follow in April 2009 and 2010, respectively.

She’s almost always running a contest, so drop by her Website, you just might win a free gift!

ABOUT THE BOOK

LaTisha Barnhart’s bunions tell her something’s afoot as she delves deeper into the murder of her former employee, Marion Peters. When LaTisha becomes a suspect, the ante is upped, and she is determined to clear her name and find the culprit.

She’s burping Mark Hamm’s bad cooking to investigate his beef with Marion. . .getting her hair styled at a high falutin’ beauty parlor to see what has Regina Rogane in a snarl. . .playing self-appointed matchmaker between the local chief and a prime suspect. . .and thinking Payton O’Mahney’s music store lease might be the reason he’s singing out of tune when discussion of Marion’s murder arises. LaTisha’s thinking she just might use the reward money to get her bunions surgically removed. But she’s got to catch the crook first.

Small town intrigue, a delightful, vivid cast, and a well-crafted mystery make S. Dionne Moore’s debut novel a must-read! I loved it!~Susan May Warren~Award-winning author of Reclaiming Nick

“S. Dionne Moore has the rare quality of pulling together great characters and compelling plots.”
~Kelly Klepfer~ www.novelreviews.blogspot.com

If you would like to HEAR the first chapter, go HERE and click on the bookcover trailer box!

If you would like to READ, the first chapter of Murder on The Ol’ Bunions , go HERE.

6 comments