I caught the snotty plague from someone. Was down the whole weekend. (Well, I did go shopping, but it was rough.) Whenever I get sick, I have this habit of using that time to trace my hacking, nose blowing, and general malaise to the source. And I figured it out. So if you gave me this evil cold and you’re reading this blog, just know that I know who you are and what you did. And you owe me a box of Kleenex and 48 hours of my weekend.

Sunday I was icky enough that I missed church.But my church broadcasts online, so I thought, I’ll just hit the couch with my laptop and watch it.  And one of the first things out of the preacher’s mouth is, “I am going to need your brain here today.” I thought this does not bode well for me. And before long we’re in the book of Isaiah talking about people whose names all sounded alike, and I just wanted a flow cart to keep it all straight. And next thing you know my head has flopped back and my eyes are closed. . .and there might’ve been some drool involved. So I eventually gave it up and turned on something that didn’t involve any brain power. Like THIS, the opening skit from SNL.  I thought it was the best one yet.  SNL did a great job and had no bi-partisan slams. It was equal opportunity in their spoofs and attacks.

You know when you can’t smell a thing, you kind of don’t want to eat the normal stuff, if at all. I had all this wheat-free crap (and by crap I mean chili and lasagna) fixed and in my fridge, but I didn’t want anything to do with it. Had sandwich stuff, but…nope.  I wanted a Sonic grilled cheese and a shake. If you don’t have a Sonic, this means your arteries are probably cleaner than mine. Their food is first class in hideousness, but the shakes and drinks, not bad. But sometimes the grilled cheese from there just hits the spot. It’s comfort food. Anyhoo, I was on the couch (this was about hour 7 or 8), and I wanted something to eat. But I didn’t want to get out and get it. So I sat there, a book in one hand, the remote in the other, a cat passed out on my gut, a Kleenex box on my chest and sent telepathic messages to various people I knew to stop by and get me something to eat. I thought, “I will get Sonic through brain power.” But no. Sadly, it did not work. Nor was I able to bend a spoon or make the Fritos fly to me. I’m thinking all the snot drainage acted as a barrier to the thoughts I was sending out. So I had to get up and drive to Sonic myself. It was a sad moment, but the food, in all it’s nastiness and wheatfulness, hit the spot.

Here’s Miller enjoying my sick day. On my pink blanket.

So a few weeks ago I drug two friends to Alltel Arena to see WWE Raw, in the name of research for my next series. I would have given a right arm (preferably one of my friends’) to talk to the guys, but that didn’t happen. But it was good to just take in the sights and sounds of a wrestling match.

I don’t even know what this guy’s name is.

But the guy in the top corner (above) is like 8 foot tall. I would not want to mess with him. This was a  tag team event, and it was a good round. Tag team is fun to watch.

The outfits go from blah to crazy. Everyone has a theme. This guy below had stuff written on his butt.

I thought it was his phone number, so I wrote it down. But I could only make out the first six digits.

(Above pic) This is a move I use on my students when they get out of line.

The masked guy above is Mysterio. He is a crowd fave. He’s like my height. One of the interesting things I found is that height does not matter at all. It’s not even acknowledged really. They paired him with a giant. Mysterio has 619 on his pants and everyone chants it. We did to, but we didn’t know what it meant. We hoped it wasn’t evil or anything. Actually we thought it was an area code reference, but today I found out that it’s a move he does. The 619. Can you imagine wrestling in a mask?

You can see how short he is in this picture.

And in this one (below)

Apparently the WWE is really accepting of short people. I picked up an application. You know, just in case this writing gig doesn’t work out.

(above pic) Here’s another move I use on students when I’ve heard too much sass.

This picture makes me laugh because I cut Mysterio’s head off. All you see is the giant and the look on his face that says, “Oh, no! There’s a crotch coming my way!”

We had some Texas representation.

Actually I don’t even think this guy was from the USA, but whatever. His outfit CRACKED me up. Boots, a hat, and shorts that barely covered his butt when the jacket was taken off.  Imagine Will Ferrell in a Speedo and boots, and that’s what it was like.

This next one (below) is Batista. He is the king.

He likes to stand on the ropes at every corner and just pose. It looked like fun, but I figured if I tried it myself all the security would take me down.

Batista has stuf fon his butt, too, but I had no idea what it was. I think it said, “I have the ability to kill you with my inner thighs.”

(above pic) In this one, you kinda can’t see it well, but the ref is laughing. I think he told a corny joke while Batista was being pinned, but Batista was like, “Oh, dude, I heard that one last week!”

So that’s my wrestling experience. It was a fun time actually, though different. Very, very different.

I hope you have a good week and stay germ-free.

JEN

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