I am so pooped. When I’m getting toward the end of a deadline, everything else tends to slide downhill and suffer. Like eating. Of course I don’t miss a meal (hellewwww, this is me, after all ), but the quality of said meal? Hideous. Like college-freshman-Ramen-noodle-surprise hideous. I’m too busy to buy groceries. Definitely too busy to cook. Too busy (get this) to even get takeout. So I’m eating the clearance M&Ms that I MEANT to give away at school (they never made it past my desk somehow…), corn flakes, and whatever stale chips I can find at the bottom of my cabinet.

And my house? Forget about it. It is in serious need of a vacuum, dust, mop overhaul. The weird thing is it looks just like it does when I’m not on the end of a deadline. . . I should probably get a maid. And last year I had someone clean once a month. But I would get too stressed over the pre-clean clean, you know? I don’t have time for that!

I have made a little time for this though.

It’s The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith.  It’s about a woman in Africa who is single (not a good plight for a woman in this book), and she takes her inheritance from her father and opens up a detective agency and just solves crime with no experience. But she does use her wits. Kind of like I write books without much experience. But I do use ice cream, chips, and lots of orange juice. Interspersed with Internet shopping.

I have had The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency in my TBR (to be read) pile for months and months. When my fabulous editor Jamie said she liked it, I thought I better read it. And it is good! I’m almost done, and so far nobody’s made out, so…it’s not great. But it’s very quaint, and I keep finding lines that I want to just etch in my brain. Except my brain isn’t functioning right now. Because I’m trying to finish a book and avoid cooking, cleaning, and matching socks. But this is just the first book in the series, and Jamie says it only gets better from book one, so check it out. And HBO has the rights and is considering a series. But it’s not even PG-13, so it probably won’t make it on HBO.

I’m writing this blog from study hall at school. . . and I have to have the fuzziest keyboard ever. Whose job is it to clean this thing? It’s not in my job description. But did you know teachers have a little cute thing in their contracts called “other duties as assigned?” So that pretty much covers everything. Like homecoming dances, field trips, extra meetings, etc. So when you say, “Nope. Sorry. I cannot chaperone the Eighties Flashback dance. I developed an AquaNet allergy somewhere between 1990 and 1993,” the principal just has to say, “Other duties as assigned…” And then you’re like, “Fine. I’ll be there at seven. With my Epipen.” Or…”We want you to clean the hall with your toothbrush then squeegee out the bus with your tongue. . .This would fall into other duties as assigned.” All you can do is say, “Um…Yack.”  It’s a sneaky, sneaky clause. I tried to slip a clause of my own into my contract, but the administration didn’t feel like “School must provide daily doses of Dasani and mini chocolate donuts” was legit. In fact, it seemed to be a deal breaker…

Finally, when I’m running low on steam, I like to turn to YouTube, of course. I was so glad to find this old friend on there–a little ditty about two male, non-gay BFFs.

Have a lovely rest of the week. I’m going to clean this keyboard…

JEN