Crazy In Mass Quantities

I’m writing this from study hall (again).  My students will NOT shut up. If I’ve said, “Shhh” once, I’ve said it a million times. These are the moments you pull threats out of your butt you didn’t even know you had. And I turn into my mother. “If I have to say be quiet one more time…”  “You’re gonna THINK trouble if I have to call you down one more time…”  AND a student who will go nameless and will just be referred to as “Why I Have A Cat” got into another kid’s backpack and poured out ALL this cologne spray stinky stuff. IN THE ROOM. My room without windows! I can hear my brain cells shriveling up and dying. On a brighter note, one of them wanted to show me his leprechaun jump, and I have to admit, it was first class.

So don’t forget, I’m giving away a copy of the new Fray CD. All you need to do is leave a comment with your favorite romantic movie (in honor of VD of course) by the end of the day Thursday. I love some of the flicks you’ve mentioned. I liked P.S. I Love You. Didn’t love it, but I liked it a lot. I’m a fan of Gerard Butler. And I have never seen The Notebook, but I read it. That was enough. I can’t do sad and tear-jerky. Nopey nope. What else? I feel like we’re missing a really obvious one. Must think about it. Oh, another one I love not mentioned is Sweet Home Alabama.

Okay, so did anyone watch the Grammy’s? I didn’t mean to, but I did. I rarely watch because it’s always full of songs I would never listen to, and I’m always like Paul McCartney for best new pop album? What is THAT? Who VOTES on these things?  I will never forget the year one Miss Whitney Houston (before the drugs and Bobby) had just arrived and she had had the BEST year. And she was nominated for like, um, everything. And then Paul Simon had made some attempt at a comeback and had ONE song out, and like took home the prize. It was ROBBERY! And I think, maybe, just maybe if she had won…things might’ve been different for her.

Because OMG, did you SEE her at the award show Sunday night? Girl was FRIED on something. She was like, “Heyyyyyyyy, yuuuuuuuuu guyzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  I’m Whittttttttttttttneeeeeeeeeeeeee. Is anyone else havvvin’ trouble keeeeeping their eyelids up? You so crazeeeeeee.”  Seriously. Train wreck! Like Britney Spears needs to pull her aside and give her some advice.

I loved this moment though. Seriously LOVED it!

I ADORE Al Green. And I LOVE Keith Urban (on guitar), LOVE Justin Timberlake (best SNL host ever), and I have never stopped missing Boys II Men (backup). But did I mention I LOVE Al Green? Anything Motown makes me smile. And because people dropped out of their Grammy appearances like Usher (wife’s medical emergency) and Chris Brown and Rihanna (girlfriend beating emergency), this gang of talent performed at the last minute. It was great period, but great especially knowing there wasn’t much practice.

So last weekend I saw He’s Just Not That Into You. I remembered it was based on a nonfiction book, so I wasn’t that gung-ho about it. I mean, the book I just read on brain research was good, but I wouldn’t want to turn it into a movie and stick Jennifer Aniston in it. So…yeah, I didn’t like the movie. I mean I REALLY didn’t like it. But apparently I’m the minority. Most people have given it two thumbs up. Or at least one. (Should I be seeing black things swimming in front of me? It seriously REEKS in this room…If I die here at school, I am going to be SOOO ticked off.)

Speaking of freak jobs, what is UP with this cast of American Idol this season? Boys in headbands and girls who will NOT shut up. And I’m not seeing any major talents jumping out at me. But I tell you what else I won’t be seeing, and that’s Fringe. When AI is over, I am not sticking around and watching that show. The TV is going off. That show will NOT give me anymore oozie nightmares again. That show is messed up. Just like the SMELL in this classroom. Just put kid and the backpack-o-smell in the hallway. I want to share the gift of that stench with everyone else in the building. Shouldn’t keep that gift to myself.

Okay, I’m going to do a military crawl across the floor to find some fresh air. If you don’t hear from me by Friday, know I didn’t make it. And my corpse smells like BOD body spray. It’s a horrible way to go. And I will trust my family and friends to avenge my pathetic, stinky death.

Don’t forget to let me know your favorite romantic movies!