Y’all I just finished a book and sent it off, so I am el pooped to the maximo. I can’t think of a single creative thought to blog about. I had all sorts of Valentine’s Day advice to give, but I will have to save it for another day as my brain is fried like a cafeteria hamburger. Please try to carry on in your weekend of love without my wisdom.

Congrats to Robyn for winning the Fray’s newest CD! Robin, shoot me an email with your home addy.

Giveaways are fun because you get to see some of the lurkers come out. And there are a lot of lurkers, right? : )  I love it when someone new speaks up! I’m totally a lurker on blogs though. I rarely comment, so I totally relate. Not too long ago I commented on a blog then immediately regretted it. It was some hot topic, and I wrote the author and begged for them to delete my comment. I’ve done that twice now. So lurking? Totally understand. But I love to have people join the conversation. I loved the romantic movies! Great lists.

I’m going to see this movie this weekend.

As I was writing this third book in the A Charmed Life series, I really talked to a wide variety of people. I realized tonight I’ve had to get information from a mortician, a fireman, and a policeman. I’ve had to ask about burial laws, forensic practices, what death by smoke inhalation is like, and what the tidiest death-by-sword would look like. The weird thing? Not one person has even blinked at my questions. I don’t think it’s that they’re like, “Oh, this must be for a book.” I think it’s been more of a matter of, “Oh…this is Jenny. She’s being weird again–nothing suspicious about that.” But it’s also made me realize what a liability writing can be. I mean, if there was a murder this weekend that involved grave robbing, stab wounds, wrestlers, unicycling circus clowns, and lots of smoke…guess who would be the first one in the interrogation room? Can I really afford this burden? I don’t know. I must think on this.

I love finishing a book. “Done” is the best thing ever. Usually after a book I buy myself something. With the very first book, In Between, it was a new desk (great purchase). With the second, a new laptop (satan-made piece of electronics). With the third I tiled my bathroom (nothing says sexy like a new floor around your toilet). Now…the magic seems to be gone. After this book, I bought myself an L.L. Bean travel case to stick my shampoo in. I think this means I’m officially a bore. When it came in the mail today, I was like, “Why in the heck did I buy this thing? This won’t even hold a can of hairspray.” I think I just ordered it because I could get it monogrammed. But when I saw my name on my travel case, I thought, “Who the crap gets their own name on tiny pieces of luggage?” So now I’m not only a bore, but I’m a total dork.

Okay, must go set the recorder for Dollhouse on Fox, the new Joss Whedon series. And when I say recorder, I mean VCR. Because I am cool like that. Be jealous.

Tired and Randomly Yours,
JEN

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I’m writing this from study hall (again).  My students will NOT shut up. If I’ve said, “Shhh” once, I’ve said it a million times. These are the moments you pull threats out of your butt you didn’t even know you had. And I turn into my mother. “If I have to say be quiet one more time…”  “You’re gonna THINK trouble if I have to call you down one more time…”  AND a student who will go nameless and will just be referred to as “Why I Have A Cat” got into another kid’s backpack and poured out ALL this cologne spray stinky stuff. IN THE ROOM. My room without windows! I can hear my brain cells shriveling up and dying. On a brighter note, one of them wanted to show me his leprechaun jump, and I have to admit, it was first class.

So don’t forget, I’m giving away a copy of the new Fray CD. All you need to do is leave a comment with your favorite romantic movie (in honor of VD of course) by the end of the day Thursday. I love some of the flicks you’ve mentioned. I liked P.S. I Love You. Didn’t love it, but I liked it a lot. I’m a fan of Gerard Butler. And I have never seen The Notebook, but I read it. That was enough. I can’t do sad and tear-jerky. Nopey nope. What else? I feel like we’re missing a really obvious one. Must think about it. Oh, another one I love not mentioned is Sweet Home Alabama.

Okay, so did anyone watch the Grammy’s? I didn’t mean to, but I did. I rarely watch because it’s always full of songs I would never listen to, and I’m always like Paul McCartney for best new pop album? What is THAT? Who VOTES on these things?  I will never forget the year one Miss Whitney Houston (before the drugs and Bobby) had just arrived and she had had the BEST year. And she was nominated for like, um, everything. And then Paul Simon had made some attempt at a comeback and had ONE song out, and like took home the prize. It was ROBBERY! And I think, maybe, just maybe if she had won…things might’ve been different for her.

Because OMG, did you SEE her at the award show Sunday night? Girl was FRIED on something. She was like, “Heyyyyyyyy, yuuuuuuuuu guyzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  I’m Whittttttttttttttneeeeeeeeeeeeee. Is anyone else havvvin’ trouble keeeeeping their eyelids up? You so crazeeeeeee.”  Seriously. Train wreck! Like Britney Spears needs to pull her aside and give her some advice.

I loved this moment though. Seriously LOVED it!

I ADORE Al Green. And I LOVE Keith Urban (on guitar), LOVE Justin Timberlake (best SNL host ever), and I have never stopped missing Boys II Men (backup). But did I mention I LOVE Al Green? Anything Motown makes me smile. And because people dropped out of their Grammy appearances like Usher (wife’s medical emergency) and Chris Brown and Rihanna (girlfriend beating emergency), this gang of talent performed at the last minute. It was great period, but great especially knowing there wasn’t much practice.

So last weekend I saw He’s Just Not That Into You. I remembered it was based on a nonfiction book, so I wasn’t that gung-ho about it. I mean, the book I just read on brain research was good, but I wouldn’t want to turn it into a movie and stick Jennifer Aniston in it. So…yeah, I didn’t like the movie. I mean I REALLY didn’t like it. But apparently I’m the minority. Most people have given it two thumbs up. Or at least one. (Should I be seeing black things swimming in front of me? It seriously REEKS in this room…If I die here at school, I am going to be SOOO ticked off.)

Speaking of freak jobs, what is UP with this cast of American Idol this season? Boys in headbands and girls who will NOT shut up. And I’m not seeing any major talents jumping out at me. But I tell you what else I won’t be seeing, and that’s Fringe. When AI is over, I am not sticking around and watching that show. The TV is going off. That show will NOT give me anymore oozie nightmares again. That show is messed up. Just like the SMELL in this classroom. Just put kid and the backpack-o-smell in the hallway. I want to share the gift of that stench with everyone else in the building. Shouldn’t keep that gift to myself.

Okay, I’m going to do a military crawl across the floor to find some fresh air. If you don’t hear from me by Friday, know I didn’t make it. And my corpse smells like BOD body spray. It’s a horrible way to go. And I will trust my family and friends to avenge my pathetic, stinky death.

Don’t forget to let me know your favorite romantic movies!

JEN

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Word on the street is Valentine’s Day is coming up this week. So to celebrate a week-o-love, I thought I’d promote something I love. Free things. What’s not to love about free? In these hard times, free is worth more than ever. So I’m giving away the new Fray CD. (It was between that and Clay Aiken Sings Dolly Parton’s Greatest Hits. Hope I made the right choice.)  So to win this CD…

…just follow these simple instructions!

You must send me one of the following: one dozen chocolate chip cookies, an InStyle magazine, some truffles, and a strawberry smoothie. But should you feel you’re not up to that challenge, you could also just leave a comment this week and tell me the movie you find the most romantic. Is it Pride and Prejudice? Gone With the Wind? Sliding Doors(anyone ever seen that?) or maybe you’re weird and Die Hard 3 makes your heart flutter.

I’m still thinking on my favorite romantical movie, but this is my favorite Valentine’s Day commercial. Still cracks me up.

I think we all know by now when I have stuff to do, I tend to find OTHER stuff to do…stuff that isn’t entirely maybe exactly positively whole-heartedly quite necessary. Check out this fun game of “Whose Celebrity Dress Cost More Than Your Entire House!” Though it was fun and sucked up some time, I cannot believe someone would pay FORTY GRAND for a freakin’ dress. Hayden Panettiere’s muy expensivo dress  looks like she bathed in a molten vat of scuba suits. I’m not sure if you could pay me 40k to even put it ON! (Okay, yeah, you could. So if that particular designer is reading this blog, IM me, yo.)

I read this book this weekend.

It’s Who Switched Off My Brain? by Dr. Caroline Leaf. It’s about how every negative thought we have (even ones we don’t THINK are negative) release toxins in our body and make us tired, crabby, give us disease, etc. Did you know doctors think that 70-90 percent of every complaint they see, from a cold to cancer has stress and negativity at its root? So yeah, it’s a little heavy at times because science was NEVER, EVER my thing. Like this sentence:The hippocampus receives information from the entorrhinal cortex, and all the different areas of the brain keep busy doing their own specific tasks. The amygdala provides the emotional input; the thalamus and hypothalamus provide emotional and motivational input; and hte memory networks provide information on existing memories. Uh-huh….yeah, I don’t get it either. But I’m also the girl who took lame science classes in college so I wouldn’t have to dissect any animals. So I had to take study of rocks and study of plants and trees, which did NOTHING to improve my attitude toward science. And I’m the girl who got caught on the first day of Botony reading Cosmo magazine and totally called out in front of the WHOLE class. But if that teacher would’ve spoken clearly instead of mumbling into his cardigan, maybe I would’ve PAID ATTENTION instead of taking the “Does He Love You” quiz.  And then again…maybe not.

So yeah, Who Switched Off My Brain? is actually a pretty good book. It supports the idea of “taking every thought captive.” It’s a quick read (especially if you skim all the big words…which I did), and I ended up liking it. It scared me though. So every negative thought releases poison into my body? It’s hard to be positive all the time! I mean, no negativite thoughts or comments? What in the world would I ever blog about?

Have a great week! And let me know what your favorite ahhh-inspiring flick choice is. You have until Thursday. I’ll announce the winner Friday!

JEN, who is thinking positively and probably going with You’ve Got Mail and Chocolate…today anyway.

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Anybody else exhausted this week? It’s hard to go back to work after having a HUGE vay-kay. You know that feeling you get when you wake up late for work/school? That’s how it’s been all week–just a little off kilter every day. I had to up my chocolate supplements…

And aside from finishing my third book in the A Charmed Life series (thanks be to GOD), I haven’t accomplished a thing lately. I keep going to YouTube and watching these guys.

Reader letters always make me smile, and this has been a great week for that. Here’s a funny one I got from “Lauren.”

I did a book report on The Big Picture for my English class and my class mates are a little… well…crazy and immature! So, I was trying to leave out the parts about how Katie’s mom is a drug addict, but then it kinda slipped out. The class went silent then I was overwhelmed with questions, comments, and concerns. It was ridiculous! on the plus side, I got an A! But I was freaking out when presenting because everyone else did really boring books like Harry Potter.

I love that! And yes, Lauren, what a bore Harry Potter is. In fact, we writers regularly hold prayer vigils for that J.K. Rowling. I just don’t know if she’s gonna be able to make it in this biz. I mean an orphaned boy wizard? Like that idea’s ever gonna take off!

Speaking of letters, my friend Lizann is a brave soul who teaches first grade. She gave her kids the assignment to write a letter to their parents and ask them for a pet and provide reasons why they should get it. Here’s one kid’s creation, unedited.

Christian Fiction Online Magazine is up for February. You can check it out HERE.

It hasn’t’ been a slow week for Bobby Brown. He’s gonna be a dad! Again. I knew about Bobby Christina with Whitney (crack is whack!), but did you know he already HAD a kid named Bobby? Who’s he trying to be–George Foreman?

Were Super Bowl commercials a dud or what? This one was probably my favorite. Love Conan.

While looking for any commercials I might’ve missed, I found this STRANGE ad that introduced this crazy machine called a Mac.

Weird, eh? What’s with the Olympian-ish woman? I dunno. But I do hope in the last 25 years she’s found a better sports bra. Support the girls, for crying out loud.

And since I didn’t have any Super Bowl ads to watch and rewatch this week, I went to my old standby. Gladys.

Gladys has the most perfect comedic timing. “That little stinker has made me clear my cards twice now…” Oh, Gladys. Why aren’t you my neighbor? Or better yet, my coworker. She would totally liven up the staff meetings. And I have a feeling she would support me in my bid to make sweats and jeans the mandatory teacher uniform. You know, you just can’t hear too many bingo stories. I actually hate bingo myself. It’s always stressed me out. I can either concentrate on listening or I can concentrate on finding the last number called…but I can’t do both. It’s a huge traffic jam of information in my head. And I never win. Once I went with my mom and aunt to this bbngo place where people get REALLY serious. All the ladies had gold shoes on and had all these daubers lined up in front of them. And trolls. What in the heck is up with Bingo-ers and trolls?  And these people would have 3 and 4 cards going at the same time. I had two at one point, and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. “I can’t keep up! Stop! Repeat that last number! You’re going too fast! Where can I get a candy bar?!”  It was STRESSFUL. If I kept going on a regular basis I’d be a chain-smoking alcoholic sleeping on rubber sheets by now.

Have a great weekend. I’m going to revise a book and fix all the million and one things I need to change so the thing will actually make sense when I turn it in. In it’s unedited state, it is pretty unreadable. Change main character to boy, change murder to robbery, change family of four to two puppies and a guppy… I always think, “What if I got  hit by a Tyson chicken truck and went into a coma, and someone in my family sent my publisher my unedited manuscript and I wouldn’t get to tell them all the things I had intended to fix?” And they would read it and be like, “What in the crap was this girl thinking? Did baboons write this book? When she wakes up from that coma we’re totally going to fire her. Though now would not be a good time since there are all those feeding tubes and things. But just as soon as they find that heart donor…”

Okay, have a good weekend. Have I already said that? I’ve been eating more salads this week, and it’s really messing with my head. I don’t know who I am anymore. Too many greens.

JEN

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Did  you guys watch the Super Bowl? As I write this, it’s just starting, so I am not up on my commercials yet. Did you see the preview for G.I. Joe? Who would’ve thought this would be a movie I want to see?

I’m not up on sports, so I didn’t know Kurt Warner was cute. Why didn’t anyone tell me?

Hey, thanks to writer and friend Danica Favorite for giving me this award.

It’s a Premio Dardos award.

Yup, I don’t know what that is either. I think it’s Latin for “short author with lots of time on her hands who blogs about nothing.” But according to Danica’s blog, it actually means that this award “acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write.’” Um…honestly no one has ever accused me of being very cultural. Or literary. So even if it really does mean I’m full of hot air and need to find better things to do with my time than follow the sobriety progress of one Britney Spears, I’m still proud to get it! Thanks, Danica!

So we are just now seeing some light at the end of the tunnel here in Arkansas after our bad weather. I didn’t get out until Friday evening, and thanks to the wonders of kitty litter, I actually made it up my driveway. Today I learned that things are so bad here due to power outages and downed trees that President Obama has already put it into motion for this area to see FEMA this week as well as other disaster relief organizations. So for many people I guess it wasn’t a four day vacation. But I sure enjoyed the writing and reading time!

Speaking of snow and ice, I have to go back to work Monday after basically a six day weekend. It’s gonna be hard. I’ve been staying up late and…sleeping late. It’s been awesome. This is how it will be Monday though.

I saw New In Town this weekend. I liked it. Of course I had been cooped up in my house with nothing but my own writing, so what do I know? I thought it was pretty cute. I loved the Minnesota setting, and Siobhan Fallon-Hogan just makes the movie. She is my favorite character actress. I remember her all the way back from Men in Black for some reason, and she was the hilarious lamaze class teacher in Baby Mama.

Okay, over an hour into the Super Bowl and this thing is lame. Where are the freakin’ good commercials? I’m going for the red team. I like their uniforms better. Big Bird yellow doesn’t flatter anyone. But at least it doesn’t show grass stains as much I guess. This commercial did make me smile.

So being shut up in the house made me want to reach out and buy something. I ordered some new YA books like Newberry winner The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. According to Publisher’s Weekly Gaiman was called VERY early in the morning to hear of his win, and he had basically just gotten to sleep due to press for his book/movie Coraline. Fourteen children’s librarians on speaker phone called him with the award announcement.  And what did Gaiman think about this moment? “The only thing going through my head was: ‘Don’t swear. It’s wrong. They’re librarians.’ ”

So I’m taking a little trip in a few weeks, and I’m on the hunt for just the right outfit and just the right shoes. I went to my fave online seller Zappos.com and put in a search for “red flats.” Check out one of my options.

It’s like Zappos read my mind! How did they know when I said red flats I meant “squishy, quilted weird red and black things that look like they belong to a Muppet?”

Okay, so with two Facebook accounts and lot of friends, I have been bombarded with the “25 Things About Me” note that everyone is doing. I think I was literally “tagged” in about 30 of these. So just to be different, I’m refusing to go with the flow and post one on Facebook. So I’ll inflict it on you here…

25 Things About Me

1. Few things bring me unfiltered joy like watching movies in a theater. It’s magic. I analyze everything–camera angles, clothing choices, acting quality, sets, audience reactions. And my favorite part? Previews. If I am going to be so late I’ll miss previews, I just don’t even go.

2. I’ve never said “fixin’ to.”  As in “I’m fixin’ to go to the store.”

3. I love soundtracks in movies and always try to figure out who’s singing. Sometimes I’ll hear an indy song on the radio, and I’ll think “That should so be on a movie or Grey’s when such and such is happening…” I also LOVE to sit through movie credits. And on DVDs, if there aren’t outtakes, I take offense.

4. One Midol makes me happy. Two Midols make me unconscious. Literally. Took me a while (and some awkward moments) to figure that out.

5. I love musicals and live theater and think Wicked is the best musical ever. I’ve worn out the Broadway CD.

6. It’s very hard to gross me out. You would be shocked at the things I’ve dropped on the floor…and eaten. What? There are kids starving in Africa.

7. My enjoyment of teaching is directly related to the amount of humor in the class and their capacity to entertain me.

8. All my life I’ve had the bad luck of getting hit in the head…a lot. There is some sort of gravitational law at play about my head and any hard object. From windshields to zinging baseballs…this could explain MUCH.

9. The word “dookie” makes me laugh. EVERY time. Without fail. (Side note: I finally got the nerve to use that word in my new series.)

10. The radio on my first car (“The Poopster”) would only work if there was an eyeglass holder shoved up in it. I don’t know why.  Sadly, shoving that eyeglass holder up other things accomplishes absolutely nothing.

11. When I went to college, I walked 3 miles daily just to get from class to class. I loved it. The walking part. Not college. Thus bringing us to item 12.

12. I hated college until grad school. But I will never forget all of us gathered in the student union to watch the verdict of the O.J. Simpson trial. Time just stopped…and then they read the verdict.

13. Tea makes me deliriously happy, but caffeine is my mortal enemy. But sometimes it’s worth it….

14. My favorite pizza is Canadian bacon and pineapple. I could probably eat it every day. It’s been an acquired taste though.

15. Falling is dead-on funny to me. I think that’s why I liked New in Town so much. LOTS of falling. A few years ago a group of friends and I were at an arts center for a musical. My friend tripped down some stairs and face planted. In her dressy clothes. Spread eagle on the carpet. I just stood there staring and thinking, “Omigosh…that was the BEST thing ever.”  Finally when a bunch of old ladies started to help her up, I realized I hadn’t so much as moved a muscle to help. Even as I type this I’m laughing out loud and wiping away tears.

16. I LOVE writing the last 50 pages of a book. Not just because I’m getting it done, but it’s like running down the hill–it goes fast and it’s fun. The rest of the book makes me want to gouge my own eyes out. With toothpicks. Dipped in pepper sauce. At boiling temperatures.

17. Large open (indoor) spaces make me want to do cartwheels. I get that from my older brother.

18. Outside my classroom door there is a surveillance camera. When I need to blow my nose I step right in front of that camera…

19. I love trivia and little tidbits. During things like the inauguration, I could listen all day to folks like George Stephanopoulos and Charles Gibson go on and on with their random historical facts. But because I have the world’s smallest brain and no memory retention (see above about head injuries), I never recall a single piece of information.

20. I think Sanjay Gupta is pretty much it.

21. When I was little and all the girls were going crazy over Kirk Cameron and the Brat Pack, I just wanted to marry Jack Tripper. We would kick the girls out and take over the apartment and spend every Friday night at the Regal Beagle.

22. John Malcovich creeps me out. Period.

23. I loved high school. Though I wouldn’t do it again (I think?), it was such a great time, and I was so lucky to grow up where I did. I still have copies of my old detention slips…somewhere. I think I’m the only teacher on the planet who cheers when a “good girl” at school gets a detention. “You should get detention at least ONCE in your life! Cheer up!” They never do…  Whiners.

24. Shrimp used to be one of my favorite foods. Then I got food poisoning at a Johnny Carino’s on shrimp about 4 years ago, and shrimp and I have never kissed and made up. I wish I had gotten sick on cookies or pie? Then maybe I could still fit in my black pants.

25. I’ve said this before, but funerals and other inappropriate moments give me the giggles. A few years ago I was at this really strange funeral and was having trouble keeping it together. When the kid across the aisle farted, my sister-in-law and I lost it. We’re both gigglers and could NOT reign it in. Soon we were the new center of attention… It didn’t go well. My brother lectured us all the way home. This is the same brother who is almost 37 and just stopped doing cartwheels a few years ago…  My mom is also a contagious laughter and still regrets she didn’t go to this funeral of a person she’d never met.

26. I hate all domestic chores. I have been known on occasion to throw away a dish if it looks like it’s going to be a pain to wash.

27. I’m truly jealous of people who get football, the stock market, or like heights.

Okay, gonna go search YouTube for some E*Trade commercials. I’d love to know what your favorite commercials were. Leave me your list!

JEN

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