The only thing bad about a vacation is it has to end. Alas, my Spring Break is over. And to cap it off, we’re supposed to have snow Saturday. WHAT IS THAT??!!  Granted, we’re not supposed to get the 10-20 feet that some people are. But a possible four inches at the end of March is nuts.

A BIG congratulations to my “Name Your Favorite Book in 10000000 words or less” contest, Rhonda and Debbie!!! YAYYYY!!!! Send me your addy and what CD or DVD you want. And I loved Rhonda’s favorite book of Where The WIld Things Are. Rhonda also found us a link to the trailer to the WTWTA movie!!! I love the scripty words that break up the trailer.

I’m not sure how I’d feel about a friend with that much body hair though. Hello, electrolysis!! Waxing! Laser!

Thanks soooo much guys for playing along with the fave book game. It was so fun to read everyone’s answers. People who like to read are people who like to talk about books. That’s not true of everything. I’m a fan of underwear…but I don’t want to talk about them. A few noncommenters commented directly to me that I had so many commenters. (How many times can I use that word?) And I was like, yeah, I know! I have the best blog readers ever. Anyone who is still sticking around for my random crap has to be awesome!!!

I would show you a bunch of zoo pics, but as I write this blog, it’s too late to load them. In other words, I’m too lazy. But I survived the zoo. As a friend said, “Did you have to go to your happy place.” Um, yes. But I had a great time with my niece, nephew, sister in law, and friends! And the llamas didn’t spit nor did the monkeys fling poo. Pretty successful trip I’d say.

The totally awesomely creative Jennifer D. from Thomas Nelson found this cool website. Have you been to Meez.com? You can make your own avatar! I made a bearded lady one. In book 3 of A Charmed Life series, there’s a bearded lady, so I went with that. She’s just as unattractive online as she was in my head. She also found THIS SITE where you can design hair!!! I styled some amazing hair, if I do say so myself. Kind of addictive.

So I mentioned I have 20 pairs of shoes in my living room, right? From Zappos.com. Somebody there has to hate me. Does anyone else buy things excessively? In bulk? I know some people buy toilet paper in bulk. Me? Shoes.

I’m really excited about the movie Alien vs. Monsters. You can see the clip HERE. Whenever I get overwrought with yet another one of Facebook’s stupid layout massacres, I can watch this and feel all better. I totally believed in monsters as a kid. I thought if I closed my eyes, that’s when they would come out. And then when I would close my eyes, I’d have to reopen them because I’d also think, “What if I closed my eyes crossed and they freeze that way? I could wake up cross-eyed. And everyone knows there’s no cure for that. I’d have to quit school. Leave home. Hop on a train like a smelly  hobo.” So I’d do a whole lot of opening and closing my peepers. But it was always risky and involved several tries because it’s hard to tell if you’re looking at something cross-eyed in the dark. Eventually I would just give in and say, “I will accept whatever becomes of me. So be it.” I did not take my eyes for granted. God gave me a good set, and I wasn’t gonna neglect them. No, sirree. Keeping them straight. And keeping the monsters at bay. I’m happy to report none ever got past me. But who needed boogie men when my brother, who treated me like a crash test dummy, was the real terror? I won’t even tell you about the time he knocked a tooth out or punched me in the face…and I didn’t tell on him!!! A smart sister would’ve turned that into a cash opportunity.

Short blog today. I just wanted to announce the contest winner and tell you that if you don’t hear from me in a while, Arkansas had its first blizzard. And no, I’m not excited. Sunday is supposed to be like 70, so there is zero point zero chance of school cancellation Monday. Not that that’s the point of snow. Because it’s not. Okay, yes. Yes, it is.

Have a great weekend. I will be writing and writing and maybe catching up on American Idol and Castle. I could also clean my house, but right now that ranks right up there with shaving my  head.

In closing, I leave you with the latest family picture.

At the end of my signature is a book preview brought to you by the fine folks of Christian Fiction Blog Alliance. I recently read Laura Jensen Walker’s Turning the Paige. Fun chick lit. I liked how the main character wasn’t twenty-five. And lots and lots of movie references, so if you are a movie buff, you’ll enjoy seeing how many you get. You can read the sample chapter below my signature.

Have a great weekend. Stay warm.Drink cocoa. Think spring thoughts.

JEN

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Turning The Paige
Zondervan (March 1, 2009)
by
Laura Jensen Walker

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Laura Jensen Walker is an award-winning writer, popular speaker, and breast-cancer survivor who loves to touch readers and audiences with the healing power of laughter.

Born in Racine, Wisconsin (home of Western Printing and Johnson’s Wax—maker of your favorite floor care products) Laura moved to Phoenix, Arizona when she was in high school. But not being a fan of blazing heat and knowing that Uncle Sam was looking for a few good women, she enlisted in the United States Air Force shortly after graduation and spent the next five years flying a typewriter through Europe.

By the time she was 23, Laura had climbed the Eiffel Tower, trod the steps of the Parthenon, skied (okay, snowplowed) in the Alps, rode in a gondola in Venice, and wept at the ovens of Dachau. She’d also learned how to fold her underwear into equal thirds, make a proper cup of English tea, and repel the amorous advances of a blind date by donning combat gear and a gas mask.

Laura is a former newspaper reporter and columnist with a degree in journalism who has written hundreds of articles on many subjects ranging from emu ranching and pigeon racing to goat-roping and cemetery board meetings. However, realizing that livestock and local government weren’t her passion, she switched to writing humor, which she calls a “total God-thing.”

Her lifelong dream of writing fiction came true in Spring 2005 with the release of her first chick lit novel, Dreaming in Black & White which won the Contemporary Fiction Book of the Year from American Christian Fiction Writers. Her sophomore novel, Dreaming in Technicolor was published in Fall 2005.

Laura’s third novel, Reconstructing Natalie, chosen as the Women of Faith Novel of the Year for 2006, is the funny and poignant story of a young, single woman who gets breast cancer and how her life is reconstructed as a result. This book was born out of Laura’s cancer speaking engagements where she started meeting younger and younger women stricken with this disease—some whose husbands had left them, and others who wondered what breast cancer would do to their dating life. She wanted to write a novel that would give voice to those women. Something real. And honest. And funny.

Because although cancer isn’t funny, humor is healing.

A popular speaker and teacher at writing conferences, Laura has also been a guest on hundreds of radio and TV shows around the country including the ABC Weekend News, The 700 Club, and The Jay Thomas Morning Show.

Another book in this series is Daring Chloe

She lives in Northern California with her Renaissance-man husband Michael, and Gracie, their piano playing dog

ABOUT THE BOOK

At 35, Paige Kelley is feeling very “in between.” She’s still working her temp job after two years, still not dating three years after her divorce, and still melting at every chubby-cheeked toddler she sees while her biological clock ticks ever louder. Paige even moves back home to help her ailing, high-maintenance mother.It’s not exactly the life she’d dreamed of!

When her Getaway Girls book club members urge Paige to break free and get on with her life, she’s afraid. How will her mother react? How can Paige honor her widowed mother and still pursue her own life? The answers come from a surprising source.
A trip to Scotland and a potential new love interest help launch an exciting new chapter in her life, and lead Paige to discover that God’s plan for her promises to be more than she ever imagined.

This latest release in the Getaway Girls collection delivers a smart, funny, and warm account of one woman’s challenge to reconcile who she is – a dutiful Christian daughter – with the woman she longs to be.

If you would like to read the first chapter of Turning The Paige, go HERE

9 comments

“My Aunt Jenny is the BEST!”

This is going to be short and sweet today. I’m at the Tulsa zoo with some friends, my sister-in-law, and my sweet niece and nephew. My three-and-a-half year old niece has a strange fascination with reptiles (and not the looking from a distance type of obsession), and so the day should be interesting.

“She seriously is. She never makes us eat our vegetables!”

My friend and fellow author Natalie Lloyd has a new blog up that I love. You can check it out HERE. I’m super excited for her new nonfiction book Paperdoll. Natalie is one funny girl and is a former Brio staff writer.

So in lieu of anything intelligent to say today (I am, after all on Spring Break, so no thinking allowed, I say), let’s do a contest. Um…winner gets their choice of the new Martina McBride CD, the new Keith Urban CD (out next week, and I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it (name that song reference)), Relentless by Natalie Grant, which released in February OR…the new Twilight DVD. (gag) (Oops! Did I say that out loud?)

Okay, so to enter, here is what you need to do. Please tell me your all-time favorite book (cannot say any author whose last name starts with a J and rhymes with scones. That’s just suck-upage). And give me one sentence or two why you love it. I’ll randomly draw TWO WINNERS on Friday. So get those lists in by Thursday evening!!

I’ll go first. My favorite book–oh, wait, let’s not say the Bible either (sorry, Jesus). That’s a given for many of you, and once one person says it everyone will feel this pressure to mention it. Like, “Oh, I won’t look holy if now I say Are you There God It’s Me Margaret. What compares with the Bible? Probably not a story about a girl who figures out the ways and means of girl business.”

My favorite books are Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts because it’s so funny and real and yet touching.  GREAT characters. Great names.  A Year Down Yonder by Richard Peck because it’s funny (see a pattern?) and it has SUCH great characters. My favorite character of all time is in there. Oh, and I love Much Ado About Nothing by Billy S. I’m honestly not a Shakespeare fan (says the former English teacher who somehow knew she never quite belonged…), but Much Ado has to be one of my favorite all time stories EVER. Sassy dialogue, amazing put-downs (always the mark of a stellar piece of literature), ideal foil characters in Benedict and Beatrice, and tons of humor and romantic tension. And the movie version by Kenneth B. is FABULOUS. When I taught ninth grade English, we would quietly boycott Romeo and Juliet , something you’re forced by gunpoint to teach if you live in Arkansas, and I would teach Much Ado instead. Then of course, show the movie. OMG, loved it. I also love a book called Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. It’s a romance, but it’s so smart and brilliantly funny. I’ve made all my friends read it. I think I’ve read it three times just this year. But I don’t recommend that to anyone under 21. Okay, 18.

I better stop. I could go on all day. Oh, wait, I loved A Girl Named Zippy, which amazing agent Chip MacGregor introduced me to. It’s nonfiction, but I liked it anyway! It’s laugh out loud funny, and written so well, I just wanted to die. Well, not die. But maybe have a small coronary. Or one of those mini-strokes. Or at least go work at Burger King the rest of my life because I was so unworthy.

Seriously, I’m going to shut up now. So yeah, tell me the book and why you love it to the point of wanting to marry it.

See you Friday!

JEN

23 comments

Welcome to my Spring Break! I kicked off the week by eating at one of my favorite places, Neal’s. It’s a total hole in the wall. Pink concrete block exterior. Wagon wheel lights and dusty deer antlers on the inside. But the best fried chicken in Arkansas. . .or the world! And the tea is always nice and strong. And then I went and ran and did my taxes–two things that are top on my “ick” list.

“Second Chance” by Shinedown is my favorite song right now. I love it. Great to run to after you’ve eaten your body weight in fried chicken and mashed potatoes. But the words made me think it was about suicide. Something like “Tell my mother, tell my father, I hope they understand…I did the best I can (blah, blah)…sometimes goodbye is a second chance.” So I go to school and ask my kids, “Is that about suicide? Because if it is, don’t tell me. I’ve already decided the song is now about a guy who leaves his job as a stock broker to pursue his dream of becoming a mime in the circus.”   And they’re like, “No. Watch the video.” So I did. And aside from the lead singer trying to look like Ozzy, it’s the most wholesome thing ever.

And you thought it was about someone killing himself. Geez. Society has warped you. I’d never think that.

I love getting email from readers. Usually I get the same questions. The one I get a few times a week is “Will there be a fourth Katie Parker book?” I’ve been sent lots of plot ideas by teen girls. Last week someone wrote me and told me there had to be a fourth because leaving Katie with Tate was like leaving Bella with Jacob. I wrote back and told her that those were fighting words, but the Lord had put it upon my heart to forgive her. ; ) Here are some other common questions I get.

1. How do you have time to write and teach? I’m actually a clone. One of me goes to work at the high school and spreads wisdom and an endless supply of quality jokes that always inspire laughter and learning. The other “me” stays at home and writes all day. The writer me has a bigger butt, but we’re working on that kink.

2. What do you like to read? The back of cereal boxes. The large print on chocolate donut packages. People magazine. The line on some Mike and Ike’s that says there’s real fruit inside. Email that comes with a video attachment. The clock when I wake up on a Saturday. The memo that tells me how to shut down my classroom in May. . . or June, depending on how many snow days God granted me.

3. What are your hobbies when you’re not writing? Hobbies? Um…yeah, I mean, sure. I have those. What well-rounded person wouldn’t? Uh…I like to sky dive, cliff jump, sew my own clothes, write Pulitzer-worthy poetry, and read as many books as I can find on our past presidents. Okay, no. The truth is I am on a hunt for a hobby right now. I’ve been considering a few, but so far none have reached out and grabbed me. There’s a new club at school for teachers and students (my first clue it’s wrong) to learn how to crochet. Or knit. Or something with yarn and some sharp objects. It promises to relax me, but making a bunch of knots and ending up with a three-armed sweater would not relax me, this I know.  And soon my friend Salle-Anne is starting a tap dance class, and I might do that. But I refuse to wear tights. Or a leotard. Or have a recital where I have to invite my parents.

4. What is your TV guilty pleasure? In a word: infomercials. I watch 60 seconds of one, and I’m pretty much convinced I need a fly fishing pole that also doubles as a clogged drain snake, fashionable belt, and piece of displayable art. Don’t even ask my stepdad about the bow-flex (or the half day it took to put it together…I supervised). But how was I supposed to know this “compact” piece of gym equipment would fill the ENTIRE bedroom? It bothered my sense of feng-shui so much, I had to get rid of it. And this is the only reason why I have flabby arms.

5. When did you know you wanted to be a writer? Well, I usually say forever, but it’s time to come out of the career closet here. The real answer is I knew I wanted to be a writer when my dreams of being a roadie for Bon Jovi didn’t work out. I mean, at first I couldn’t finish college with that goal because my professors kept, I dunno, expecting me to show up for class consecutive days in a row. And then at my first teaching job, they were like, “No, you can’t video tape your lessons and mail them from New Jersey.” Such a drag. I think the point here is, you have to surround yourselves with people who will nurture and encourage your dream. And I didn’t do that…and that aspiration died a painful, teary, shot-through-the-heart death. But instead of moping, I decided to go with pick number two on the dream list. And here I am. Writing books. Though my heart still cries out for Jon and Richie…

I don’t ever get asked if I like fish sticks, but the answer is no. Still, this commercial cracks me up.

Recently I read my first Amish fiction. Amish fiction sells like CRAZY. I tried to make Bella, the NY socialite in So Not Happening, go Amish, but apparently you can’t wear Prada, drive a Bug, and have an iPhone if you’re Amish. So…I’m gonna be uncool like that.  Anyway, I read A Cousin’s Promise by mega-selling author Wanda Brunstetter.  It’s a very well researched book, and I did learn a lot about that faith. You can read the synopsis and sample chapter after my signature.

I hope you have a great day. I’m gonna go write and read email. And grocery shop so I have something to eat besides Eggos. If I eat one more, I’m gonna gag.

See you Wednesday!!!

JEN

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
A Cousin’s Promise
Barbour Books (March 1, 2009)
by
Wanda Brunstetter

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Wanda enjoys writing about the Amish because they live a peaceful, simple life─something she says we all need in this day and age.

Using the knowledge her Amish friends have shared with her, Wanda has also produced several children’s titles in the Rachel Yoder─Always Trouble Somewhere series, an Amish cookbook, and a devotional collection entitled The Simpler Life, which was released in July 2008 and celebrates the virtues of the Amish lifestyle. Wanda and her husband are members of the fellowship of Christian Magicians.

Wanda is also a member of the North American Association of ventriloquists, American Christian Fiction Writers, and the Northwest Christian Writers Association. She lives in Washington State, where her husband pastors, but takes every opportunity to visit Amish settlements across the country.

Other books by Wanda are A Sister’s Test, A Sister’s Hope, and A Sister’s Secret

ABOUT THE BOOK

Wayne Lambright who, crippled after a tragic accident, feels himself unworthy of her love; and Jake Beechy who, after having abandoned her to explore the English world, returns to renew their courtship.

Willkumm to the lush and lavish Amish country where Wanda Brunstetter’s new romantic series, Indiana Cousins, begins with A Cousin’s Promise. Loraine Miller finds herself torn between the love of two good men.

When a horrific accident cripples Wayne Lambright, he finds it difficult enough to take care of himself, much less Loraine Miller, his future bride. Will he sacrifice his happiness to give her a better life?

Having already been jilted once, Loraine is terrified of yet another rejection. But does she love Wayne enough to marry him, for better or worse? When her old boyfriend Jake Beechy returns from exploring the English world, he hopes Loraine will give him another chance.

How will God work to give Loraine the desires of her heart? To which man will she pledge her love and loyalty – for better or worse, until death they do part?

If you would like to read the first chapter of A Cousin’s Promise, go HERE

10 comments

It’s FRIDAY!!! OMIGOSH. I’m so excited. I have next week off. I mean, I hate to rub it in, but I HAVE NEXT WEEK OFFFFFF!!!! I’m so psyched for a break. And so are my students. They were CRAZY this week. And crazy students equals psycho hag teacher. Seriously, at the end of a few of these days, I was like, “I should not be around children right now.” When they know a break is coming, they just all get ADHD. I wanted to pass out Ritalin like Jolly Ranchers.

Very sad news about Natasha Richardson. And if I have my facts straight (which means I’m probably wrong), she was injured on the bunny slope. How crazy is that? I don’t know why this event bothered me, but I’m always impressed with celebs who live their life under the radar. Just proves it IS possible. Poor Liam. And her kids. And Vanessa. And the twins from Parent Trap.

So I watched Castle and really liked it. You can see it here on HULU. I love Hulu! It’s so handy. Minus the commercials that you can’t fast forward through. But it’s still quicker to watch because you only get maybe 30 seconds of commercials. I thought Castle was cool with all the author references. Like at one point the author is telling his poker buddies (real authors James Patterson and Steven J. Cannell, which CRACKED me up) what’s going on in this real mystery and how it’s not quite right. And they two authors are like, “That’s not a story. It’s too clean. It’s too simple. Where are your twists?” And so by using his writing skills, the author cracks the mystery! Sorta. Well, he helps. But I really liked it. Whedonites will want to boil me alive for this, but I’ve never been a Nathan Fillion fan (okay, the Mr. Horrible’s mini blog movies swayed me a tiny bit, but he was a freak job in a few episodes of the worst season ever of Buffy, and I never forgave him or the entire creative staff of Buffy the Manic Depressive), but he really does sizzle in this. I think arrogance is a hot quailty. . .in a fictional character. In real life people it makes you want to deliver roundhouse kicks to the face.

Did you know they are advising libraries to throw out old children’s books because they may have lead in them? But tests are showing that you’d have to probably lick the pages to get the toxins. So you can’t say you have not been warned. Do not lick that old copy of Cat in the Hat. I had to put mine away. It was just too much temptation. But I may bring them to school. . .

For those of you watching Idol, what did you think about Adam’s “Ring of Fire?” It creeped me out. But I haven’t quite figured that boy out yet. I think Randy was right–it was trendy. That style is so in with my kids (appearance AND music style), but a good portion of it was like screaming kitties type of thing. It was just too much of the drama and smoldering eyes for me. Does anyone stand out to you yet as a major star? At least Paula’s face had de-puffed. But the girl fights between Paula and Simon? Ugh. (See note above about roundhouse kicks to the face.)

If you guys could go anywhere on spring break, where would you go? I think this week I’d pick Nantucket. I’ve always wanted to go there. Every year one of my kids does a speech on the place, and I’m always like niiiice. New  York City would be fun too. This time a few years ago, I took my mom, aunt, some other adults, and like 25 kids to NYC on a “field trip.” It was so much fun. Except we went to the St. Patrick’s Day parade and lost my aunt. In the midst of 16,000 people. She had to stop and ask a firefighter where she was. He had no pants on. Just a kilt. I always thought she probably got distracted by all the men’s naked legs. But it was IMPOSSIBLE to keep all of us together. Thank God I didn’t lose a kid. We saw Lion King (half my kids fell asleep) and the evil lion was the husband of Paige from Trading Spaces.That was the only celebrity we saw. I remember we had Q and A time afterwards with the cast, and I was like, “Oooh!Oooh! Me! Me!”
“Yes?”
“Are you married to Paige from Trading Spaces?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”

Really meaningful conversation. Oh, and they had record snow there in March too. Which made walking 7-8 miles a day interesting. So maybe I’d pick somewhere a little beachier this time.

A few quick things before I go.
1. Airline name on the Simpson’s Ireland episode Sunday night: Derry Air
2. Bumper sticker on a car I saw this week: Honk if I’m paying your mortgage.

Have a great weekend!!! I know I will!

JEN

15 comments

So Tuesday was St. Patrick’s Day, and I forgot to wear green. I ate spinach with breakfast. Does that count? I’m sure I had green in my teeth. Nobody hot even pinched me. Well, my friend Graci did. And she’s hot…but it didn’t do anything for me.

It happens every year. That day when you must break out the flip flops, capris, and toenail polish. Today was the day! Also known as FFCD or Flip Flop Conversion Day. On FFCD you must reintroduce your feet to flip-flops. It can be a rough day, as the toes feel slightly violated, but after the breaking-in period is over, life is so good. We now say flip-flops, but back in the day you called these shoes thongs. Sometimes my mom forgets we don’t say that anymore. We were at a shoe store last summer, and Mom is standing by a guy helping her, and she says, “Oops! I can’t seem to keep my thong on!” Got his attention.

Once warm weather hits, I wear flip-flops all the time to school. I am a devoted follower of the Nike Celso.

And I’m pretty much a Celso evangelist. Anywhere I go, I preach the good news of the comfort and joy this flop will bring you. My whole family wears them now. Their families wear them. My fellow snow worshiper Holly wears them. And her whole family. I can’t recommend them enough. (But don’t get the really skinny ones. They are imposters of comfort.)

And just when you think nothing can replace your favorite flip-flop, there comes the Teva.

My favorite of ALL flops right now is my black pair of Tevas. And I love how they don’t scream “I like to rock climb and make my own fishing lures!”  Anyone have any favorite summer shoes? (Or in my case, March through October shoes.)

I read our school announcements every day to my kids. Sometimes the messages are just funny. Wanted: Strong, Male Athletes (Stuntmen). Or this one: Do you like volleyball, but wouldn’t be caught dead wearing spandex?  Occasionally I like to put in special voices. Today provided a good one. Bodybuilder’s Club meeting. Remember to bring posing shorts to Thursday’s meeting. We’ll check bodyfat and weight first, have discussion, and perform poses. Sadly, I was not able to attend that meeting. I hope they got along okay without me.

Did you know Japan now has robot supermodels on the runway? (Since when have they NOT been cyborgs?) But at two million dollars each, they’re pretty much a steal. And they won’t yell at you if you run out of Perrier at the food table. Accoring to THIS article, she’s five-two and only weighs ninety five pounds. Even robot models are starving. Ninety-five pounds. That robot needs some M&Ms.

So in the current book I’m writing, the main character eats SweetTarts when she gets stressed. Yesterday I was looking around on YA book review sites and stumbled upon this.

I don’t really know what the book is about, but it HAS to be good. But probably not as good as this one my friend Holly recommends…

 

Did anyone see the show Castle Monday night? I didn’t, but I’m going to watch it on the web because it has an old fave from some Joss Whedon shows. And it’s like the second coming of Moonlighting, a show I watched religiously back in the day. Everyone today has been raving about it. Except for some Flight of the Conchords and a few minutes of Idol, I am way behind on my TV viewing. Except, a HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to my friend Salle-Anne (the name of Frances’s station wagon in the Katie Parker books, btw) for tipping me off to the face that my hero of heroes Carol Burnett was on Tuesday night’s SVU. She was pretty much…amazing. I hope she lives forever. Is that too much to ask? I love YOU Miss Hannigan!

Okay, gotta go. I have to find this Castle show and sacrifice an hour of my life. But since I’m not eating candy this month, I seem to have the time…

16 comments