Welcome to Monday!

Some of you are still snow covered. And for those of you who wanted to know if I ordered up the snow, I’m hurt, okay? It wounds me. I didn’t pray for this particular storm. As Paula, my teacher friend said, “I know you didn’t order up this snow because it didn’t happen on a school day.”  So see, it wasn’t me. But I was stuck inside this past Saturday anyway, so I have to admit I didn’t mind the flakes. We only got a little over an inch in my part of Arkansas, so it was nothing treacherous. But it snowed the whole day, and I LOVED looking at it. But you still can’t blame it on me.

A moment of silence for the passing of  Paul “…and that’s the rest of the story” Harvey. For the young folk, a long time ago he was on the radio with these crazy true stories that always had a wild twist. He would tell the first half of the story and suck you in, then go on a commercial break and give you the “rest of the story” which would completely flip the story on its ear. I would listen to it on my way home from classes at U of A and by the time I had the rest of the story, I was in my parking spot at the First National Bank, where I worked during the last three years of school. (And no, I was not a great teller because that involved being nice to people 8 hours a day, which was not my gift. And I tended to accidentally hit the “crisis” button a lot. And they made me roll coin one day a week which involved me hauling 50 pound bags around and falling all over the place with them while a 400 pound man stood there and watched me struggle. EVERY WEEK. Good times!) Anyway, Paul Harvey wasn’t something I really sought out. It’s kind of like Walker Texas Ranger–you may not want to watch, but if you accidentally sat through ten minutes, you were lured in and couldn’t turn it off. Paul Harvey just told cool stories. Unfortunately he never did round-house kicks.

So like we needed any more proof I’m immature. Click on this link and see if you can hear this tone. If you can, you’re like me and still a kid! If not, you are like most adults who can’t. It’s the most obnoxious noise ever.

What is up with Rihanna and Chris Brown? Girls, if a guy beats up on you, you do NOT get back with him–even if it’s at Diddy’s beach house. Even if you can ride jet skis to your heart’s content. Even if he’s in anger management. Even if he can dance like nobody’s business. I mean, not only did he beat her up, but he did it on Grammy night. Who DOES that? And who doesn’t take off their Jimmy Choo and brain said person? So Rihanna, if you are reading this, just say no! He ain’t your umbrella! Ella! Ella! Eh! Eh! Eh!

So I saw Madea Goes to Jail this weekend. We all know what a HUGE Tyler Perry fan I am. I have his name tattooed on my left cheek. Okay, no I don’t, but I am a devout, loyal fan. And I will support his movies. He’s a bold, talented guy out there spreading a message of hope and Christ. And in this movie it’s IN YOUR FACE. I mean, it’s so in your face. For a few reasons (mainly melodrama), I didn’t really enjoy this flick. And it’s a sad day when a good Christian girl is like, “Oh my gosh, stop with the religious talk and get back to the cussing, glock-toting Madea!”  It was just so over-the-top, and it began to grate really quickly. I’m a big fan of subtly. But I’m still proud that the movie has been number one the last few weeks and that someone is out there making pro-Christian movies. And Mike Seaver isn’t anywhere to be found, halleleuyer. But Rudy Huxtable as a crack ho? Nahhhh. I didn’t buy it. I didn’t buy a lot of things in this movie, and that’s par for the course in a Perry picture, but this one…took it all to new heights. And my butt fell asleep. In a really good movie, my butt is just fine. The butt never lies…

So the drug wars are so out of control in Mexico, they are telling college kids in America to stay home and not visit their shores for spring break. But the other night on the news, the Mexican attorney general said “No, please come and visit! No harm! For every 100 who are killed, only one is a visitor, so what’s the problem?” Um, spring break is for fun and sun. Not decapitation and kidnapping. Maybe we should send Bernie Madoff to Mexico.

I’ve been having so many problems with both my Dell computers. It’s like they both decided to get sick at the same time. I often have lusty Mac thoughts, but I’m seriously considering replacing at least one of my PCs. Probably the desktop since my laptop is only a year old. Ugh. So if you’re a Mac user, gimme the pros and cons. Initially I wanted one just because it would make me look cool and I could drop the Mac name all the time. You know you Mac people do that. “Um, yeah, last night when I was creating stationery, a book cover, a rock video for Bono, and redesigning my website on my Mac…” But now I think I’m just tired of all the issues with a PC and ready to embrace my inner Steve Jobs and get on the Mac train. So if you’ve made the conversion, let me know if it’s worth it. Plus, it could keep my iPod company.

Okay, off to write. Can’t wait to tell you about the new project. But I can’t right now because I have five weeks to write an entire book. Yes, five. I’ve decided to sleep only every other night, teach only on the odd hours, and recently I submitted a letter to my pastor to ask him to cut his sermons down fifty percent until April. I’ll let you know how it works.

Have a great week!

JEN

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