We’re in study hall right now, and some kid just looked out the door and asked, “Hey, can I go walk in the hall and chase that girl?”   I pretended to give it some serious thought. “Um………no.”  This would be the ninth grader who I just told, “In ten years, you’re gonna be the funnest guy on the burger line.”  With some kids, there’s no point in being PC. Especially when every time you get on to this particular child, you end up LAUGHING because he is so freakin’ clever. He’s the funnest flunkee I’ve ever met. So look for him in politics in about 15 years.

This Rihanna and Chris Brown thing is really stressing me out. Apparently there was this HUGE PR blitz from his camp, and they talked her into going along with it because he’s clearly got the whole mind control thing down. Today I listened to a speech on what to do if we fall under the attack of zombies. I’m thinking Rihanna could use these same steps with Chris Fisticuffs Brown. (I’m hoping to post this speech soon because it was so good. And it was a community service! These are things we need to know in case of a zombie apocalypse. And don’t even ask me about the illegal blades brought to class. Shhhhh.

American Idol is moving at such a fast pace now, and I’m completely left out. No TV for me until like the next millenium. Maybe I should DVR it. Except I don’t own one of those because I’m like Laura Ingalls Wilder in the pioneer days when it comes to technology. I think I have the same cell phone Half-Pint did in the episode where Pa almost dies. That probably doesn’t narrow it done though… Somebody almost died in every episode, I think. Anyway, who are you guys rooting for on AI? Is the widower still on there? I like the Hispanic guy. He made me tear up during the preview. I’m glad to see some Latin representation.

I have CAP conferences tonight. This means that parents come until late in the night, and we make out the kids’ schedules for next year. It hurts my head to think about next year in MARCH, but I will put on a brave face. And the good news is we get fajitas tonight! I’m so stoked for that. Before I worked in this super grande district, I worked in a teeny-tiny district (the one where I went to school myself and had to sing for mules at the Mule Jumping Capital of the WORLD!! (Nay, the universe!) Someone asked me just yesterday if I still sang. “Um…no. That event scarred me for life. I’m retired. Forever.”)

Anyway, at Tiny School, whenever we had conferences the principal KNEW to get kick-butt food for us. Except one time someone messed up and got fish because of a teacher’s food allergies (not mine), and I thought I was gonna go postal. Food for conferences has to be able to stay out an hour or so. So you would NEVER want to serve catfish! WHAT were they thinking? I almost packed up my stuff and left. But then I ate a cold hush puppy and things got a little better. BUT when I came to Big District (read: we have more money), the food was like sub sandwiches from Wal-Mart. I was like WHAT is the meaning of this? But tonight, after five years here, my faith has been restored. I’m having Mexican food!!! Glory to God and salsa! I’m so excited. And I’ll be spending the evening with eighth graders, filling them in on how incredibly big and scary the high school will be next year. And that they must never bring giant knives to class when they do speeches on zombie attacks. (And if anyone from my district is reading this, I’m just kidding. Like I’d let weapons in my classroom. (Well, besides the one in my own collection.) No, I would ALWAYS turn dangerous knives in and report the kid. Even if the speech was so clever I laughed the whole time. Still, knives are wrong, wrong, wrong. And pointy.)

Have I mentioned that I’ve been writing in my bathroom this week? I get bored in my office chair (and uncomfortable), so I like to sit on my couch with my laptop. But my couch is like this big ol’ marshmallow and just sucks you in. So then I get sleepy. But I have to knock this book out like (insert your own Chris Brown joke here). So to make myself as isolated and NOT surrounded by couchy, plush goodness, I’m sitting on my bathroom mat on the floor, leaned up against the tub. But it’s working. And my bathroom is so small that it’s kinda multi-purpose.  I can write, tinkle, and brush my teeth all at once! Everyone should try this! And I keep thinking of all these toilet jokes while I’m in there. But since I’m not allowing myself to text during this time, I can’t share them as they pop into my head. And then I forget them. But I think they were probably hilarious. But maybe just to people who are inches away from a toilet and have cold butts due to frigid tile.

I hope you have a great weekend. Believe it or not, I’m NOT going to see a movie this weekend. I’ll probably break out in hives in reaction to the loss of a movie. But I will be strong. See you Monday!

JEN

Mortals No Longer Necessary Loving your "favorite teacher" comments! Keep them coming. If you want to be put in the running for a...

Love Is In the Air…And The Cookies Teaching has it's moments, it really does. One of my favorite birthdays was made special because a group...

It’s Gross Pic Friday!!! Happy Friday! I just want to say that I watched season seven (finally) of Gilmore Girls, and I'm a...