Crazy Kids, Crazy Time Change
This Daylight Savings time is kicking my butt. Instead of saving me time, it’s sucking my life away. Yesterday I fell asleep on the couch. Again. There was drool involved. There was also a ten pound cat sitting ON me, and I didn’t even notice. Darn you, Daylight Savings!
I am so tired. And it doesn’t help matters that I decided to have a Diet Dr. Pepper and sweet-free March. I know, WHAT was I thinking? So far I’ve avoided sweets, but I have to be honest. After a week and a half without a DDP, I caved yesterday and had half of one. But I had this internal battle going on, and it was either the DDP or the chocolate donuts. So the DDP won. I thought, calorie-wise, it was the better pick. My sugar ban ends at the end of the month, when I will be enjoying strawberry pie at my mom’s for my b-day. I want to celebrate number twenty-six in style.
It is once again time to raid my collection of student quotes. I don’t have a big list this time, which makes me sad. I will have to tell them to step up the funny.
Me:Â What is your least favorite band?
Student 1: The Harry Potters
Student 2: Any Iranian techno.
Me: Is the flu going around or what?
Student: No, I’m going around.
Me: I think if I thought about that long enough, I would find that inappropriate.
Student: Then don’t think about it.
Me: Okay.
Background: I’ve told students one of the ways they can start speeches is with humor.
Student 1 (speech on brownies): Two brownies walk into a bar. One brownie says to the other, can I borrow ten bucks? The other says, “Are you crazy?” “No,” he says. “I’m nuts.”
On a speech about how to shoot a basketball.
Student: Sometimes I think, why is that basketball getting bigger? And then it hits me.
Me: What is your ideal Saturday?
Student 1: I’d hunt zombies all day.
Student 2: On a fantasy Saturday I’d go outside.
Me: And realistically?
Student 2: I’ll wake up at 2:30 in the afternoon and waste my youth on the Internet.
Student: Homework is like bills. You don’t want to do it, but you got to or your lights go out.
Me: You’re a super hero. What is your super power? (Most kids said invisibility, ability to fly, x-ray vision, speed)
Student 1: I’d glow in the dark
Me: Why?
Student 1: Because it would be pretty
Me: You just won the lottery. What’s the first thing you’d buy someone else?
Student 1: I’d buy my mom a mountain.
Student 2: And have a secret layer underneath?
Student 1: Yeah!
Student 3: I’d buy my arch-enemy some drugs and then call the police on him.
Me: How does mood affect our perspective? Do we see things differently when we’re in a good mood?
Student 1: What if I’m never in a good mood?
Me: Then think about any old day compared to how happy you are on your birthday.
Student 1: Birthdays are just one day closer to death.
Here’s another kookie teenager. Does anyone follow Fred on YouTube? Normally he’s too annoying for me, but this one kinda made me laugh. Or maybe I just appreciate his save-the-animals stance.
Fred…it’s a love him or hate him thing. Not much in between.
Speaking of craziness, thank you to fellow teacher Rob for sending me this clip. I love the woman’s enthusiasm.
I disagree with them though. My Bible assures me Lucky Charms will be in heaven. And chocolate donuts. And biscuits and gravy. I think it’s in Leviticus. Right under the chapter titled “Calories Don’t Count.”
Have a great day. I’m going to try and not think about cookies or brownies or the bag of M&M’s in my desk drawer that I can’t seem to throw away. Is anyone participating in Lent? My deep sacrifice is not Lent-related, but if you’re participating in Lent, let us know what you’re being deprived of! It will make me feel better!
JEN
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I, too, am a DDP fiend–the highlight of my day is cracking one open at about 3:15. I made a rash decision and decided to give it up for Lent. But other than the timing of it, I haven’t determined exactly how to make it Lent-related.
Then I accidentally found a Lent loop-hole on Wikipedia: “In Western Christianity…Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and concludes on Holy Saturday. The six Sundays in Lent are not counted among the forty days because each Sunday represents a ‘mini-Easter,’ a celebration of Jesus’ victory over sin and death.” Does this mean I can indulge my DDP cravings on Sundays?
LOL I love your students…I only wish the other teenagers I knew were that clever…or random…or at least humorously dense. Some of the entries above remind me of Calvin & Hobbes, actually…especially the wasting my youth on the internet one.
I’m participating in Lent. I gave up red meat. It’s been ok so far. It’s harder to do no meat on Fridays.
Stay strong. It’s worth it.
Natalie, I’ll eat some red meat on your behalf. . .if you’ll eat some M&Ms for me.
Melodie, the “wasting my youth” kid is a future psychologist or something. He discussed Sartre in his last speech about anarchy. He’s FOURTEEN!!!
Natasha, finding a loop hole for Lent? I don’t know if you’re really genius or really sacrilegious! That is so funny. I wonder if there’s a chocolate donut clause or anything. . .
You know some pretty awesome kids
lol.. I loved them all, but my two favorite are these (I did laugh out loud while reading this…)
Student 3: I’d buy my arch-enemy some drugs and then call the police on him.
Student 1: Birthdays are just one day closer to death.
I love DST, but I hate having to adapt to it. By June, I’ll be fine. By then, though, it won’t matter so much.
I love Daylight Savings Time too. But I want to NOT lose an hour in the morning and somehow still gain an hour at night. Someone needs to figure that out.
Wow! …I have to say that he seems much more excited about the No mo’ bacon than she does. I got hungry just listening to that
You always ask your kids such fun questions! I need to do that more. Ok, so my kids aren’t nearly as funny, but I do have to tell you about one funny thing a kid did write. I gave them the assignment to do a 6 word memoir. Sum up who they are in 6 words and then they had to write a paragraph about how those words describe them. Well, this kid is writing about how he is hyper and has ADHD and then he says or “ADOS” which stood for Attention Deficit…OOOO Shiny.I thought it was pretty clever and so true!
Hope you’re surviving without the DDP.
Hey, Kit! Yeah, girl is not very excited. I think she wants her bacon in heaven. Can’t blame her.
Laura, that is the funniest thing EVER. Seriously, I love that. ADOS. How FUNNY!!!!! Cool assignment, too, by the way!
Natasha is right. You don’t have to include the Sundays.
I am just because I like the thought of suffering for the entire lenten season — deprivation makes me feel less bad about other things.
Y’all should never tell me about loop holes. That plays with my weak mind! Like Natalie, I’ll stay strong on Sundays too. But it will be hard. . .now that I know. THANKS Natasha…thanks a lot. ; )