Welcome to a new week. I wanted this weekend to go on and on and on. It did not. But it did end with a great Easter service at church and the best lunch ever (topped off with strawberry short cake and my mom’s famous carrot cake–the only way to eat veggies).

So I spent last week on my couch with my laptop burning my legs. I was there for like 14-16 hours at a time. There’s a permanent indention where my couch will never be the same. I’ve mentioned I have a mentally challenged cat who does nothing. A friend was telling me about her new cat that fetches and does cool things. Miller just cuddles, sheds, barfs, and expects you to pet him. He really digs my laptop and does not understand why his paw across my keyboard sometimes makes me turn into Hulk and yell things I shouldn’t. Like sentences that start with, “Oh. CRAP!” And end with “You freakin’ moron…” Shoving him away does little to deter him.

Um…here I am. Do you see me? I see you. Look up from that blasted laptop and give me one pet. Just one chin scratch. Is that too much to ask?

Here’s uber-intelligent Miller going for the slide.

I’m just gonna slide right across the keyboard. She’ll never notice. Even though my tail will go straight up her nose, she’ll be too busy writing…

And here I am. Just gonna put all my body weight on her hand until she gets the hint. This mouse pad is so cool. It’s like I can contribute to her book too! And it’s like a yelling trigger! Neato!

But the book got done and Miller lived to stick his tale up my nose another day.

We had a fabulous lunch Sunday for Easter. A year ago July, my mom was cutting some meat with an electric knife…and things got ugly. My sister-in-law and I were in the den, and we hear this thud. I didn’t think a thing of it. A minute later, my thoughtful SIL calls out, “Beverly, are you okay?” And we hear this quiet, “No.”  And then my SIL Laura and I have this weird moment of staring at each other and just sitting there for a second. Because moms are always okay! That wasn’t the right answer! So we race to the kitchen and find my mom in the floor. With the electric knife. And blood. Lots of it. And a big, gaping, make-you-want-to-puke-up-your-pie hole in her calf. The knife hadn’t been going, but she dropped it and it sliced her up really good. My stepdad and I took her to the hospital (which is another story completely–mother dearest did not have a good attitude about this. She kept saying, “Just gimme a stupid butterfly band-aid! A butterfly band-aid!” And we’re like…um…there isn’t a bandage in the world that can handle that thing.)  So we had some ER fun. They say if you want to get into the ER quicker, tell them you’re having heart pains. We found out if you bleed all over their floor, they move you pretty quickly too. Bev got some stitches (one of the three of us had to leave the room when the Dr. stuck his entire finger in the wound when he got started…omg. omg. omg.)  and then she was fine!

So ALLL that to say, when we saw this Sunday…

She was promptly removed from ham slicing duties.

My mom got her grandchildren edible grass in their Easter baskets. This is my niece with her Easter basket ON WHEELS. Eating the grass.

When I got there, my nephew was pouring Dr. Pepper, Orange, and Grape into a cup and drinking it. My sister in law said, “My kids came here and got mixed drinks and a bag of grass…”

This is an irrelevant picture of my poor, old cat. Celie is 22 years old.

She’s my beloved childhood pet. She looks ROUGH. She weighs like 2 lbs or something ridiculous. I keep hoping she’ll go peacefully in her sleep…but um, no. She can’t hear, can’t see. But she can meow loud enough to send an SOS to the next continent. My mom loves that…Especially at three a.m.

This is my cousin’s child, Sam. He wore a cow jacket.

He didn’t tell me why. I tried to talk to him about it. I think he was protesting how Easter is always a ham, turkey, and chicken holiday for us. Beef is never invited. And Sam’s clearly had enough of that slight.

Here he is again in the toy room, showing me how much he likes me taking pictures of him and his cow jacket.

This is my beautiful niece again hunting eggs. She’s a tad bit competitive. She WILL shove you and anyone in a Holstein jacket down to get to that egg.

Are those not the cutest boots ever? I really want some. It was FREEZING and rainy in Arkansas for Easter, but that does not stop our family from hiding eggs. In the pic above, my niece is staring at a tree I planted a long time ago. Back in like 10th grade, I went through this animal rights/tree hugging phase. So on Arbor Day, I made my parents plant a million trees. Well, like 30 or so. And they let me get away with this. I have never figured out why. They never gave into my pony request. But this…they helped. And I guess we planted all the trees thinking most wouldn’t make it. . .well, they did. And they’re still there. My mom lives in a subdivision. Not on acreage. It’s a mini forest. All thanks to me and my sense of green. I was green before it was cool. And before you get impressed, it last like two weeks, and then I was totally over it.

“This is serious busines, y’all. Get out of my way.”

Here’s my brother and I watching Alf together.

As usual, I dressed up for the holy holiday. I thought I should wear my reflective pants in case the Easter egg hunting got crazy and the sky got any darker. Play it safe or don’t play at all, right?

So, what’s your favorite Easter or family dinner food item? Mine is definitely strawberry pie/short cake. But this year my mom made a (safe, no knives involved) strawberry, pecan salad that was uh-mazing. What’s your fave?

Have a great week! I made no gains toward my end-of-deadline x 2 diet. Maybe next month week.

JENNY

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