Get Your Clog On

Happy mid-week! I can’t wait ’til Friday. Except for some reason I volunteered to go with some friends to see a baseball game. Even though I dislike baseball. It is so slow. Can’t they speed it up? Like basketball. I can keep up with that. Or maybe I’d like it more if there were fights in baseball like in hockey. Nobody ever gets their teeth knocked out. That’s the problem. For this same reason, I do not like ballet.

So I’m a member of a writing group called American Christian Fiction Writers. I posted to our writing loop the following question:  Let’s say a guy has a heart attack (probably from deadline stress). He’s taken to the ER…then what? What are some possible scenarios?

My ever-helpful agent supplied some answers. I thought I’d share.

Scenario #1 – The agent shows up to see if the author is actually going to make the deadline or not. He stands around the room, talking on his cell phone, then offers the author a pat on the shoulder before leaving to get on a flight somewhere.

Scenario #2 – The agent shows up and announces to the nurse, “You realize that 15% of the drugs you’re administering to my client actually belong to me?”

Scenario #3 – The publisher sends flowers, then immediately calls the agent to ask when the manuscript will come in.

Scenario #4 – The author is a Baptist, so people at church have a pot luck to make him feel better. Somebody brings a casserole with green beans and cream of mushroom soup, and those crunchy onion things on top.

So helpful! There are 100 variations on what could happen after a heart attack. I should think of this every time I’m in the drive-thru line at McDonald’s. (And for the record, should I ever happen to go to ICU, I do not eat green bean casserole. Even cream of mushroom soup and crispy things cannot improve green beans.)

Today we interrupted speech class with. . .clogging.

One of my students asked me if she could perform her routine with her twin, and of course I said yes. They did a GREAT job! So fun. Though I think we scared the classroom beneath us. A few years ago I had this one class that had so many artsy/creative types in it. They were forever asking me if they could sing (as in the serious choir stuff), do their drama/forensic pieces, or something like that. Somehow we always got everything done we needed to and we STILL had time for some dramatic-singy-dancy fun! LOVED that class. So when my student asked me if she could clog, I was all over it.  Last week I had a student perform a scene from In Between. It was so awesome to see. I miss the lack of choir/singers though. Our school has an amazing choir program. They’ve even been to Carnegie Hall to perform. It’s no mule jump, but whatever.

Speaking of performances, have you seen Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent?

Cheeky thing, isn’t she? But omg, can she sing. I hope somebody kissed her after that. She still doesn’t beat this guy, whose name I can never recall. But he’s the absolute best.

And I like this boy from the same show. It’s funny, but if you watch BGT, Simon is actually a little different.

He’s actually pretty intelligent about human nature. He knew just what to say to that little boy. I’ve seen him do that a few times–say something that was just what they needed to hear, something that was spot-on to their lagging confidence or esteem. Like he “gets” them. You don’t really see that much on American Idol. Simon got a lot of swirlies himself in his day. Maybe he got teased for his tight shirts and man boobs.

We are finishing up our “design a country and design its currency” project in speech class. One group created Zombie World. Their country’s motto? “Use your head. Cut off theirs.”

Another group created Fruitopia, a country of fruit reverence. Their motto was, “Candy is dandy, but fruit makes you poop.” And the national dress? Girls wear coconut bras.

Another country was the Magical Wasteland of Toilets. Their motto? “What’s the rush? Remember to flush.”  I seem to really inspire deep, intellectual thinking. It’s a gift.

Have a great rest of the week. Onward and upward ’til Friday.

Anyway, have a good week.
JEN

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8 comments

8 Comments so far

  1. Colene April 15th, 2009 12:23 pm

    you make me wanna teach. hahaha your students are so funny.

  2. Melodie April 15th, 2009 12:30 pm

    Wow, I hadn’t even heard about that performance on the show before or anything, but that. Was. Amazing. Really inspiring, and she sure put all the people in the beginning in their place. It almost made me cry. :)

  3. Sarah April 15th, 2009 4:15 pm

    Your class sounds like so much fun-I almost want to go back to high school speech class…almost. :)

    I finally watched the Susan Boyle video after hearing about it all week and that was amazing! So good and it made me cry.

  4. Tatianna Adler April 15th, 2009 6:25 pm

    Hey its your fav clogging student! I tryed to watch that jump ropping thing but my parents computer is too slow! It is very old and is dieing on us! grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! Anyways I like ur blogs I read like 20 of them before I stoped. You are too funny!!!! You come up with the funniest stories I’ve ever heard!!!! You are an awesome teacher. I like the pic of us. You caught me in the air!!!!!!! I can’t wait to clog in your class again. It was so much fun. So how did the tap dancing go with Salle? Well I’ll see you tomorrow!!!!!!!!

    From your clogging star,
    Tatianna Adler

  5. Rachael April 16th, 2009 6:53 am

    Man, how come I don’t have a cool teacher like that? You should so come and live in Ohio. We’re the home of the Buckeyes, after all!

  6. Tabitha April 16th, 2009 1:45 pm

    Hey, this is Tabitha from Pea Ridge! I really love your’ books and I think it’s cool that you let your’ students clog in your’ class. I almost wish that I went to Bentonville schools because of that. But I still love Pea Ridge. Don’t think I would leave if I could. Maybe I should just suggest to my teachers that we learn to clog. Lol.

  7. chip April 20th, 2009 11:28 pm

    If you make any money on professional clogging, 15% of that is also mine.

  8. Jen April 21st, 2009 8:19 am

    Sending the check right now, Chip. Wait for it…

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