Still no pics to report. Sigh. My blog bores me.

So did you guys watch AI? Who’s gonna win? I thought Adam was a definite, but you KNOW Danny’s followers are gonna give all their love and texting to Kris. I say Adam will win…but by a narrow margin. I dunno.

So we’re having graduation this weekend for my high school. It’s been many years since I got my high school diploma or equivalent, but I’m still full of graduation advice. Graduating seniors…take notes.

1. Freshman Fifteen. It’s real. It exists. It is not an urban myth. My BFF Denise and I worked out DAILY and STILL gained 8-10 pounds. We did not eat pizza every night either. Neither one of us knows what happened, but we’ve narrowed it down to carbs, aliens, and Communists.  Also know that you will eat foods repetitiously in college, and some of it (most of it), you’ll never be able to stomach again. I couldn’t eat Lucky Charms now if my cat’s life depended on it. (Chalky marshmallow horseshoes or not having to clean a litter box again? Hmmm…no brainer.)  Also Ramen noodles make me want to barf.

2. Invest in a good alarm clock. If you’re college bound, many of you will have A day classes and then B day classes (or Mon/Wed/Fri classes and Tues/Thurs classes). You will not want to reset your alarm every night, so have an alarm with more than one alarm setting. Like alarm no. 1 and 2. His/her. Whatever. And do not make the mistake I made and have a late class just because it sounds fun. My first semester, I took choir at 2 pm. Which meant I was in class ’til four…while everyone else on campus besides the other dorks like me, had been out since noon. Noon is the magic cut-off hour!! You want to done by then! You WILL develop Early Out Class Envy if you don’t get that schedule fixed accordingly. It will make you mean and bitter. Trust me.

3. Be prepared for decades of the “Crap, I Missed My Final” dream. I STILL have it. Actually one time I DID get confused and miss a final. I had a grad assistant and he was really nice about it. I don’t know why. I wouldn’t have been. Anyway, for the rest of your days you will have this nightmare that you didn’t show up for a final, or my favorite, you get to the end of a semester and realize you completely forgot about a class and never went.

4. Community bathrooms. In some antiquated dorms, there is one bathroom per hall. First of all, if this is your situation, you want to transfer to a different school. Or consider entering the workforce and forgetting about a higher education altogether. Aim for at least an en-suite bathroom–sharing with no more than 3 others.

5. If you do find yourself in a suite situation, sharing your room(s) with 3 others (or more), then pick out the weaker girl and intimidate her into doing all the cleaning. If you’re at a Christian or private school, tell her you know all about her sinful past, but it will be your little secret if she’ll just keep the toilet bowl ringless and the towels Downey fresh.

6. If there is a bus system at your university/school, figure it out as a freshman. I was a senior when I first took the bus. I walked EVERYWHERE.  I commuted, so I would park far away and then trek like 4 miles a day. The bus system just baffled me. One dropped you off at the edge of town. One dropped you off at the mall (that would’ve been my favorite). One took you to the grocery store 10 miles away. The buses were labeled in colors, and they were a big mystery to my ADD head. With walking…I didn’ t have to think. But once it snowed really bad, and things were icy where I parked. EVERYONE took the bus that day. So I just jumped on one and hoped for the best. Sadly, it did indeed take me to class…and not to the mall.

7. Reading romance novels the night before a final is not a good idea. You wont want to put it down. Actually ANYTHING would’ve been better than studying for a final. I could’ve had a guide to carburetor repair, and I would’ve read every word before surrendering to studying.

8. You CAN get out of dissecting classes. I did this. The downside is you will find yourself in the most boring science classes ever. Study of plants and trees. Study of rocks. In the study of rocks (aka geology), we were given a rock bag with like 50 minuscule rocks. At the end of the semester, we had to identify them for a final. On the final they will look NOTHING like the chips that were in your bag. They will be 100x the size and be completely unrecognizable to you. Especially if you stayed up too late the night before eating Lucky Charms and reading Nora Roberts.

9. Join a group that provides lunch at least once a week. For me, it was the Wesley Foundation (the Methodist Student Union). I was not Methodist. Nor was my name Wesley. Therefore, I stayed away. This was a dumb, dumb mistake. I’m sure there were boys there. And cold cuts.

10. Find a TV show so fabulous it would unite warring countries. In my day, we all gathered around Melrose Place or Friends. Some of us might’ve had nothing in common, but give us a chance to put away the rock bags, break out the Ramen, and tune into characters who actually HAD lives, and suddenly everyone’s a friend.

Anyone else out there have advice for our graduates? I’m sure I left out a few tidbits of wisdom.

And for those of you graduating, good luck to you! Like Green Day says, it really is the time of your life.

JEN

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