Oh, the Things You Say

I know you're on the edge of your seat for more quotes from my kids. In fact, the local university just called me and said they'd had a ton of requests for applications to their teaching program. It's true. Teaching is awesome. And if you become one, you can be entertained every hour of every day at school. You'll never have a bad day. It's all giggles and zombie references. If these quotes don't persuade you to educate our youth, then clearly nothing is going to get through to your hard heart.

Me: Who is a famous person you'd like to meet?
Student 1: Mr. T. He eats babies.
Student 2: Nostradamus. He's smart–in a creepy way.

Me: It's the last day of your life. What do you do?
Student 1: Repent. . .that would take the first 20 hours.

Me: What would you do if you were guaranteed success?
Student 1: Take over the world. That seems fun.
Student 2: Become a benevolent dictator. In Peru.
Me: Why Peru?
Student 2: Because I like llamas.

Me: What are three things you're good at?
Student 1: Driving, backpacking, and shooting random things.
Student 2: Kissing.
Me: Ew.

Me: What's a movie you'd watch over and over?
Student 1: Final Destination.
Me: Why?
Student 1: People get killed. I love it.
Student 2: Labyrinth. I love that movie. Evne though David Bowie is kind of a pedo.

Me: What is something you're striving to become?
Student 1: Dictator of Togo.

Me: What are you doing on Spring Break?
Student 1: Burn stuff.
Me: Bird stuff?
Student 1: BURN stuff.
Me: Oh, I thought you said bird stuff.
Student 2: Like pooping on statues?

Me: Pick a number between one and 100.
Student: 5.9

Me: You're going into the witness protection program. You can only take three things with you. What are they?
Student 1: Alicia Keyes.
Student 2: Firearms, 50 rounds of ammo, cleaning kit, secondary weapon, knife, flashlight, signaling mirror, full quart canteen, bedroll, hiking boots, daily rations, advanced medical kit, ten emergency flares ,and five fire extinguishers.
Me: You can't take all that.
Student 2: It's okay. I have a donkey to carry it.

Have a great day!!! Sorry for the super short blog. I'm recovering from my jot to Ireland and Scotland. The kilts were so distracting, I just couldn't think of anything else to write. Can't wait to share more Wal-Mart Shareholder pics of famous celebs and tell you all about my trip such as my usual packing disaster (crying, sobbing, avoidance in the form of late night lawn mowing), the castles (Mom, I'd like one for Christmas, please), Nessie (I was feeling lucky…), flight anxiety (do they make drugs for this yet?), and all the pretty sights. I'll be back Monday to wear you OUT with stories. I've missed my blog friends!!!!

JEN