Happy Monday!  Congrats to Robyn for winning a copy of Just Between You and Me. Robyn, just email me (jen at jennybjones dot com) with your mailing addy, and I’ll get that out to you. Hopefully this year.

This week I’m giving away someone else’s book. I recently read Gone to Green by Judy Christie. If you’re into journalism and the behind-the-scenes life of a newspaper, you will enjoy it! I come from a small town where the paper knew everyone’s business and the town knew the paper’s business, so I could relate to some moments in the book. You can read the synopsis and sample chapter after my  sign off.  I would love to give a copy away. So here is this week’s question. . .What town did you grow up in (or towns) and what’s one thing you loved best about it? You have from now until Thursday night when the crickets start carrying on to leave your comment. I’ll announce the winner on Friday’s blog.  I grew up in a small town in Arkansas and my favorite thing was just knowing everyone. I loved walking to the football games and smelling fall–leaves, concession stand, the voice of the announcer that has been the same since the 70s. Cheering for a game in which I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I got to go back and teach in my hometown for six years, and they were my best professional years for sure. I love small towns.

Just Between You and Me will be on the shelves Tuesday. I’m TOTALLY excited about that. It’s exciting and yet it’s. . .scary. You have no idea how people are going to react. I can paint a room in my house, and if I stay in the lines and don’t fling paint everywhere know it’s a good job. But books and anything creative? So subjective. I have a friend Sal, and if she likes a movie, there’s a great chance I’ll strongly dislike it. And vice-versa. So it’s hard to know how a book will be received. BUT if all the reviews use words like: hideous, hazardous waste, and worthy of blow torch, at least I’ll have THIS FABULOUS REVIEW by Evangeline Denmark.  Not only is it amazingly positive, but it’s so well written! Like it made ME want to buy the book. Evangeline has some other great posts on her blog as well, and I love her bio that says “I’m 29 and will be from now on.” Me too! Welcome to the 29 Forever Club where our motto is “Lying is Okay Here.”(motto tattoos are optional.)

So this weekend I saw Second City. This is an improv troupe based out of Chicago that has launched the careers of many a Saturday Night Live star, like Gilda Radner, one of my favorites. They have a touring show and came to Arkansas. It was pretty good. There actually wasn’t that much improv (more sketches). I love improv–like on  Whose Line is It? Improv is such an art and talent. I love drama and theater, but I happen to STINK at anything off the  cuff or improvy. I mean I stink. I just kinda stand there and uh-uh-uh. I need a script! Lines! Preparation!  And all six of these actors could sing–and did so often. Can you imagine having to think of lines on your own AND spontaneously sing? There’s no way. When I first started teaching, I would script out my entire lesson. Like I wrote myself LINES for the class period. I’m not kidding. I did that for the whole first year. I don’t remember if I wrote stage directions or not. (Look stern here. Point at student and scowl. Tell funny knock-knock joke. Pause and pretend to consider student’s question. Say something witty about dangling participles.)

Did I ever post the video of Chester the Peeing Dog? Because you shouldn’t go another day without seeing it.

Have they buried Michael Jackson yet? What the heck is going on? If I ever die, I do not want to be left out so long I’m worm bait before I even get in the ground. I mean are they waiting for some sort of Thriller resurrection? Zombies can burst through dirt AND caskets, so just lower him down already. But if there is a zombie uprising, you KNOW MJ will be part of it. I hope Chris Farley is too. Just because he’d be a funny zombie. If there is such a thing. And maybe a JFK zombie because I really have some questions for him. I would say  a Keith Richards zombie, but I think he might already be one. Though highly functional.

I hope you have a great week. We are experiencing unusually cool temps here, which has prompted me to research the weather forecast for our winter. Will it be cooler this year? More moisture? Because when cool meets moisture it equals snow. And I’m also working on a new snow dance for Snow Loving  Holly and myself. Never too early to start. Especially when it involves some pyrotechnic details.

See you Wednesday! Don’t forget to answer the Question of the Week to get in the running for Gone to Green.

JEN

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Gone To Green
Abingdon Press (August 2009)
by
Judy Christie

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Judy Pace Christie, after working as a journalist for twenty-five years, left the daily news business to open a consulting firm that works with individuals, businesses, and churches on strategies for meaningful life and work, including goal-setting, living fully, and balancing personal and professional lives. She is the author of Hurry Less, Worry Less; Hurry Less, Worry Less at Christmastime; and co-author of Awesome Altars. Judy and her husband live in northwest Louisiana.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Lois goes from being a corporate journalist at a large paper in the Midwest to the owner of The Green News-Item, a small twice-weekly newspaper in rural North Louisiana. The paper was an unexpected inheritance from a close colleague, and Lois must keep it for at least a year, bringing a host of challenges, lessons, and blessings into her life.

When Lois pulls into Green on New Year’s Day, she expects a charming little town full of smiling people. She quickly realizes her mistake. After settling into a loaned house out on Route 2, she finds herself battling town prejudices and inner doubts and making friends with the most surprising people: troubled teenager Katy, good-looking catfish farmer Chris, wise and feisty Aunt Helen, and a female African-American physician named Kevin.

Whether fighting a greedy, deceitful politician or rescuing a dog she fears, Lois notices the headlines in her life have definitely improved. She learns how to provide small-town news in a big-hearted way and realizes that life is full of newsworthy moments. When she encounters racial prejudice and financial corruption, Lois also discovers more about the goodness of real people and the importance of being part of a community.

While secretly preparing the paper for a sale, Lois begins to realize that God might indeed have a plan for her life and that perhaps the allure of city life and career ambition are not what she wants after all.

If you would like to read the first chapter of Gone To Green, go HERE

Thank goodness it’s Friday! This was my first full week back at school, and it was a lonnng week. Especially since I couldn’t wear flip flops. Flats are such a waste of toenail polish.

Don’t forget, you can still win a copy of Just Between You and Me. Just click HERE and follow the directions in Wednesday’s blog.

Today we had a “Teacher Quiz.” I give the kids this schpiel about how when I was in school I would always do research on any unfamiliar teachers I had on my schedule (I totally did), and since they CLEARLY were my smart class, I was sure they had dug up some dirt on me as well. Then I tell them that it’s worth a ton of points and if they fail, they might as well spend the rest of the semester in the bathroom because there’s no point in coming to class. I give them a list of about 15 questions about me like “What was my most favorite summer job.” They have to answer with really creative responses in hopes I give them partial credit in case it’s wrong.  (There are ALWAYS a few kids every year that really freak out and think I’m serious. This year so far–nobody fell for it. There is hope for our youth.)  Their answers are always really entertaining, and it’s a great way to introduce myself without standing up there and introducing myself.

I thought I’d share some of their answers. And by the way, they are told it must be kept PG. One of the questions is “What is my other occupation?”  I tell them “Don’t put something on your paper that would make my family sad.”

Question: What is my favorite sport?

Student responses: Professional coconut picking
Clown at birthday parties.
Movie star
Drug trafficking tracker for FBI.
Goose feather factory worker
rodeo clown

What is my cat’s name?

Julio Mendez
Foo Foo Cuddly Poo
Little Muffins
Triscuit
Cat No. 1
Axl Rose
Captain Cuddly

What is a book I should read?

Principles of Symphonic Orchestration (and he was serious)

What is my favorite summer job I had as a teen?
Petitioning against the French to stop shark hunting
Body builder
Lumber jack
The guy who walks behind elephants in parades
Professional stapler
Air guitarist
Cleaning toilets at McDonald’s
Milk truck technician
Working at Men’s Warehouse
Being a hobo
Super hero
Being awesome
Professional badminton player for Ireland
Sumo wrestler
Cleaning movie theater bathrooms
Mascot behind interception line
A “perm person”
Cow at Chick-Fil-A
King in Burger King commercials

What is my most embarrassing elementary school moment?

You were attacked by a bear at recess and it ate your pants

What college did I graduate from?

University of Super Hero Tech
Puerto Rico University
Northwest Awesome College (To which I replied, “Yes. In fact, I was valedictorian.”)
Institute for the Small Minded

What are some of my hobbies?

Studying volcanoes
Collecting buttons
Being awesome  (All awesome responses from same kid. Same sucking up kid)
Wrestling, hunting unicorns, and collecting samurai swords
Cutting strings on little kids’ kites
Riding a tricycle behind the school when no one is there
Speed boat racing

What is a good movie I’ve seen lately?

Happy Smile Awesomeland

When we went over their answers to “What’s a good book I should read?” one of the girls –without even knowing I was an author–says, “In Between!”  I said, “That book sounds familiar,” and moved on. Then towards the end of class, I answer “What’s my other profession.” After class she comes up to me. “I just told the author of In Between to read In Between?”  Shakes her head and walks off.

We also did a classmate scavenger hunt where they have to find people who can answer specific questions or who meet certain criteria (like I’ve read all the Harry Potter books. I know the name of Paris Hilton’s dog). So one statement was “I can name four Will Ferrell movies.” We were going over the possible answers, and I was trying to get them to guess The Producers. I said, There’s singing. There’s dancing. There’s Nazi’s.” A kid raises his hand. “Anne Frank?”  Um. No.

On this same activity some students got to share their most embarrassing elementary school moment.

Student One: I was on the monkey bars. Someone made me laugh. I peed my pants.
Student Two: It was reading time during fourth grade. It was really quiet. . .I farted.

Have a great weekend. We are getting a cool front in Arkansas and that temp is dropping! Fall is coming! Wooooo!!!! (In other words, if I have to go back to school, I don’t want it to be summer anymore.)

See you Monday!
JEN

Happy mid-week!

So my friend just called and she’s traveling for business in Texas. She said, “You would not believe what I just passed. You have to pull this up on the Internet.” So of course, I did. Here’s what I saw. And it even has a fun story to go with it! It’s strange, isn’t it? If I won 49 million in the lottery, I wouldn’t buy tee pees.

I just got my copies of Just Between You and Me !!!! I get all giddy when the UPS guy rings my doorbell. Walking to the mailbox is still a highlight of my day. I just love getting stuff on a daily basis–like a new magazine (one of my 200 health/fitness mags that I pretend to read), a new Pottery Barn catalog (that I’ll never buy anything from because the shipping costs more than my couch), or a belated birthday card (it’s never too late to send those). But getting a couple boxes of your book is an awesome feeling.

You can read one of our first reviews on Just Between You and Me HERE. Thanks, Rel!

This book is quite different from the others I’ve written. First of all, it’s not YA. So a teenager is not the lead actress here. Maggie Montgomery is the big 3-0. And it packs a little more of a spiritual punch than say the Bella Kirkwood books. It’s funny, one thing I’ve learned with So Not Happening, book one in A Charmed Life series, is that it’s not EVEN possible to please everyone with the level of faith in the book. If you read the reviews on Amazon, you’ll see the whole gamut–people who are upset there isn’t more God, people who read the same book and found there to be too much God, and of course, my favorites–the ones who said, ‘This is just right.” (Probably people I’m related to. Checks forthcoming…)  So it will be interesting to see the response to Just Between Me and You in terms of the faith thread. And the alien battle in the last chapter. And the mermen on page 173. And then there’s Elvis’s appearance when the main character learns she can shoot fire out her armpits. Yep. Really interested in see the reaction.

So the book is about Maggie, who travels the world as a cinematographer for a travel channel. She’s been everywhere, but the place that is the scariest of all to her–home. Maggie hasn’t done anything more than make a brief stop at home every now and then since graduation. But a family crisis demands her return to Ivy, Texas. When she’s there, she’s itching to get back on the road and rack up some more frequent flier miles. So the question of the week is…if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? (Let’s say you won 49 million in the lottery, and after you bought your Tee Pee Hotel, you had some Benjamins left over.) I think right now I’d go to Greece. Then Italy. Or vice-versa. What about you? Leave a comment and let me know. You have from now until Sunday afternoon after church, yet before NASCAR to enter. One winner will be drawn and announced on Monday’s blog.

Have you seen THIS CLIP on YouTube of the latest phenom on the X Factor, Britain’s American Idol? He’s really good, eh? I didn’t like it when he got a little too comfortable and less humble, but we’ll see how he does. I’d vote for a teacher any day.

I’m already compiling a list of student quotes. Here’s one I posted on Facebook this week. Story from a ninth grader: “A long time ago I was on the monkey bars. A friend made me laugh. I peed my pants.”  I’m trying to enlarge that plot for my next novel. I think it has potential.

Have a great rest of the week. Don’t forget to leave a comment and tell me your dream vacation location. And remember, you won the imaginary lottery, so imaginary money is not an issue for your imaginary vacation.

JEN

Did everyone have a good weekend? I saw Post Grad. I thoroughly disliked it, but I’ve heard of a few thumbs up for the movie. I thought it was a bad attempt to combine Juno, Little Miss Sunshine, and RV.  I liked Michael Keaton, weird and irrelevant as he was. And I LOVED Carol Burnett in it. She could walk on a film just to read her grocery list, and I’d be waving a white Kleenex and shouting “Oscar! Oscar!” Anybody seen anything GOOD lately? I have to admit I did not like Time Traveler’s Wife. But. . .I also couldn’t finish the book. Didn’t enjoy it either, so maybe I have the taste of a 13 year old boy (well, within reason…). I just kept watching Time Traveler’s Wife and thinking, “Nuh-uh! _______ could never happen because_______.”  I believe in logic, God, and explanations for everything (which is probably redundant). That movie defied all three. If you’re a time traveler, there has to be a reason. Is this addressed in the book? And if you’re drawn to the same events and people over and over, there has to be a reason. (addressed in book?)  Otherwise. . .you’re just on drugs. And that’s what I wanted to yell to the screen. “Hey, Henry, lay off the crack and Oxycontin and most of this will clear right up!” And I personally think there’s a universal law that when the time traveler-you and the you-you are in the same room, someone has to blow up. I’m pretty sure I read that in the Bible. Probably Revelation. But maybe Numbers (would be easy to hide a little fact in Numbers). Also could’ve been something Tom Cruise said on Oprah while jumping on a couch.

So I was with my niece and nephew this weekend. (Right before my nephew went to a tractor pull. Top THAT for weekend fun.) Conversation with my three-and-a-half year old niece as she’s looking out the window at the bird feeder:
Me: Did you see a bird?
Curly-headed niece: Yes. It went home.
Me: Where is home?
Niece: A tree
Me: Do you think it’s watching TV?
Niece: Yes.
Me: What do you think it’s watching?
Niece: Wrestling.

So today was that time of the year when I take it like a woman (meaning down some Midol) and get a mammogram. Did you know if your mother had breast cancer, you need to start getting mammos ten years prior to her age at detection? (Fun fact for the day.)  Or by age 40. I made up a mammogram song last night as I was fixing dinner, but sadly, I can’t remember a word of it. I’m pretty sure the word “boob” was in it.  And I think it ended with “OW.” Actually it drives me nuts how women talk badly about the mammogram experience. It’s not that bad. It’s surprisingly quick. And aside from the fact that somehow they trap your lung in with your girls in the Magic Smasher, it’s SO not a big deal. What IS a big deal is that the magazines at the medical center I go to STINK. It’s like there are two phases to the magazines in this place. There is the outer waiting area, where the crap magazines are. Then when you get called into the next waiting room (if you have results to get or further testing), there are GREAT magazines. Like it’s not worth their time to set out the good mags if you’re gonna run and bail. But if they can get you through phase one–periodical heaven.

But in the main waiting area, here is what I had for today’s reading selections:
Welcome Mat–a magazine that is full of ads for this region of Arkansas. As in 100 percent full. That’s all it was. Well, welcome to you too.
Golf World--don’t even get me started. Those guys can’t even wear decent pants.
The McDonald County phone book of 2006. McDonald County would be a county…in Missouri. I do not live in Missouri. Neither does my doctor’s office.
Parents magazine. (No cat articles. What is the point?)
three Holy Bibles. I thought of stuffing two of them down my shirt to see if the technician would notice.
Nuevo Testemento–when the three Holy Bibles just aren’t enough
Watchtower–because sometimes you get done with Golf World and there’s just nothing else

With the limited choices, of course Parent magazine was my best bet. Not because I have children in my future. But because it was the only one that was from 2009. They do always have some interesting articles. Here are some I found:

“Take the Scariness Out of School.”  Sadly there was not a single tip in there for teachers. WE’RE the ones who should be scared.

“Pork For Picky Eaters.” Pigs are bottom feeders and if a child doesn’t want to eat pork, I’d say that’s just good intuition. And good artery clogging prevention.

“Talking To Kids About Work”   One tip was to “make your job sound fun to your child by sharing something you’re excited about doing at work. “Mommy loves lunch!”

“Do You Eat Like a Kid?” I answered “none of your business” and picked up the McDonald County phone book instead.

“Get Your Kid Hooked on Fish.” Tip one: Fry the daylights out of it. The more batter, the more better.

“Petting Zoo Rules.”  Yes, it’s okay to share your pacifier with the emu. No, it’s not okay to share Mommy’s burrito.

“Cupcakes For a Cause.” I don’t know what the cause is, but I’m a big supporter.

“Happy Labor Day.” Just think about this one for a sec. You’ll get the article theme.

“Get the After School Scoop.” Promoting gossip as early as kindergarten. You can’t start them too soon. “Abby’s Dora sweatshirt was so not the right color for her complexion…”

“I Survived Preschool.” Dude, I’ve survived a lockdown.

“Bus Basics.” Look, we all feel like stepping in front of one on bad days with kids. But don’t do it. Some other mom or teacher would be the one to have to clean it up.

“Raise a Kid Who Loves School.” Yes, please. Do that. And then send me that special fairy dust.

I hope you had a great weekend and have an even better week! Stay tuned for Wednesday when I’ll give away another copy of Just Between Me and You.

JEN

Lynette E won Just Between You and Me. Lynette, just shoot me an email (jen at jennybjones dot com) and gimme yo mailing addy. Thanks everyone for playing along. I now have a whole list of “must haves” I must shop for.

So like I mentioned in a comment yesterday, I had to sit down and have a long talk with my flip flops. I had to tell my favorite pair of shoes that they wouldn’t be joining me at work today as we are under a flop and t-shirt ban. It’s hard, guys. I’m not gonna lie. And the flops–they don’t understand. And how do you really explain such. . .shoe racism? Such bias? Such shoe snobbery? I don’t know. I must lean on the Lord for this one. He is a comforter. A cushy comforter like my flip flops. I had to promise the flops that we would hang out all day Saturday. In fact, I’ll even sacrifice running Saturday so I can devote more time to my little friends.

I’m seeing Post Grad this weekend. I hope it’s good. It has my hero Carol Burnett in it! If I knew this, I blocked it out in my giddy excitement. I hope Luke shows up. Rory needs somewhere to drink her coffee and eat her donut (skinny heifer).

Can I just ask that we all ban the Kardashians? Khloe makes me so unbelievably uncomfortable. Sometimes there is a thin line between being BFFs with her mom and just being sick in the head. I am soooo tired of seeing them, hearing them, wondering when the aliens are going to come back for them. I don’t get it!!! Just like I don’t get Lindsay Lohan being a guest judge on Project Runway.

So I just discovered singer Jon McLaughlin. Where have I been? Or where has HE been? (okay, focus on music, not the video. It’s a little awkward–a promo video for the state.)

The song “Indiana” is great too.

So how is school for those of you who had to go back? We are so overpacked in our school. Need more teachers, more classrooms. More flip flops.

Did you hear the uproar over Michelle Obama wearing shorts–on her vacation? Dude, if I worked out like she did, I’d probably wear a thong bikini to state dinners. Can you believe in this world where anything goes, we’re debating the appropriateness of the First Lady in modest shorts? The Huffington Post actually took a pole on whether people believed it was acceptable or not. The only thing I objected to was that in the same pictures, the prez was dressed like he was getting ready to meet with a few dignitaries at Camp David. Sir, you cannot wear pleated khakis and a button down to the Grand Canyon. Clearly you need to watch Project Runway with Lindsay Lohan.

I hope you have a great weekend. The good news about going back to school is that I can begin accumulating a list of funny things my kids say. I hope. These students better get the importance of their role here. I need their humor for my blog and mental well being It’s important they learn to share and express thoughts with one another.

See you Monday!

Jen