Thank goodness it’s Friday! This was my first full week back at school, and it was a lonnng week. Especially since I couldn’t wear flip flops. Flats are such a waste of toenail polish.

Don’t forget, you can still win a copy of Just Between You and Me. Just click HERE and follow the directions in Wednesday’s blog.

Today we had a “Teacher Quiz.” I give the kids this schpiel about how when I was in school I would always do research on any unfamiliar teachers I had on my schedule (I totally did), and since they CLEARLY were my smart class, I was sure they had dug up some dirt on me as well. Then I tell them that it’s worth a ton of points and if they fail, they might as well spend the rest of the semester in the bathroom because there’s no point in coming to class. I give them a list of about 15 questions about me like “What was my most favorite summer job.” They have to answer with really creative responses in hopes I give them partial credit in case it’s wrong.  (There are ALWAYS a few kids every year that really freak out and think I’m serious. This year so far–nobody fell for it. There is hope for our youth.)  Their answers are always really entertaining, and it’s a great way to introduce myself without standing up there and introducing myself.

I thought I’d share some of their answers. And by the way, they are told it must be kept PG. One of the questions is “What is my other occupation?”  I tell them “Don’t put something on your paper that would make my family sad.”

Question: What is my favorite sport?

Student responses: Professional coconut picking
Clown at birthday parties.
Movie star
Drug trafficking tracker for FBI.
Goose feather factory worker
rodeo clown

What is my cat’s name?

Julio Mendez
Foo Foo Cuddly Poo
Little Muffins
Triscuit
Cat No. 1
Axl Rose
Captain Cuddly

What is a book I should read?

Principles of Symphonic Orchestration (and he was serious)

What is my favorite summer job I had as a teen?
Petitioning against the French to stop shark hunting
Body builder
Lumber jack
The guy who walks behind elephants in parades
Professional stapler
Air guitarist
Cleaning toilets at McDonald’s
Milk truck technician
Working at Men’s Warehouse
Being a hobo
Super hero
Being awesome
Professional badminton player for Ireland
Sumo wrestler
Cleaning movie theater bathrooms
Mascot behind interception line
A “perm person”
Cow at Chick-Fil-A
King in Burger King commercials

What is my most embarrassing elementary school moment?

You were attacked by a bear at recess and it ate your pants

What college did I graduate from?

University of Super Hero Tech
Puerto Rico University
Northwest Awesome College (To which I replied, “Yes. In fact, I was valedictorian.”)
Institute for the Small Minded

What are some of my hobbies?

Studying volcanoes
Collecting buttons
Being awesome  (All awesome responses from same kid. Same sucking up kid)
Wrestling, hunting unicorns, and collecting samurai swords
Cutting strings on little kids’ kites
Riding a tricycle behind the school when no one is there
Speed boat racing

What is a good movie I’ve seen lately?

Happy Smile Awesomeland

When we went over their answers to “What’s a good book I should read?” one of the girls –without even knowing I was an author–says, “In Between!”  I said, “That book sounds familiar,” and moved on. Then towards the end of class, I answer “What’s my other profession.” After class she comes up to me. “I just told the author of In Between to read In Between?”  Shakes her head and walks off.

We also did a classmate scavenger hunt where they have to find people who can answer specific questions or who meet certain criteria (like I’ve read all the Harry Potter books. I know the name of Paris Hilton’s dog). So one statement was “I can name four Will Ferrell movies.” We were going over the possible answers, and I was trying to get them to guess The Producers. I said, There’s singing. There’s dancing. There’s Nazi’s.” A kid raises his hand. “Anne Frank?”  Um. No.

On this same activity some students got to share their most embarrassing elementary school moment.

Student One: I was on the monkey bars. Someone made me laugh. I peed my pants.
Student Two: It was reading time during fourth grade. It was really quiet. . .I farted.

Have a great weekend. We are getting a cool front in Arkansas and that temp is dropping! Fall is coming! Wooooo!!!! (In other words, if I have to go back to school, I don’t want it to be summer anymore.)

See you Monday!
JEN

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