Snot, Snow, and Scary Christmas Gifts

Today's the last day to get in the running for a copy of I'm So Sure. Check out the details HERE.

So where WERE you all Wednesday?
Oh, wait. I was gone.

Between NaNoWriMo and a freakin' cold, I am getting my butt kicked. Actually NaNo is not kicking my butt because that would require writing. But I think about NaNo. I think about it a lot. In between blowing my nose, eating another Halls, and trying not to yak up the Halls because 200 in a day is my absolute max.

Did anyone watch the CMAs? Country music tends to take care of its own, and Kanye West got his a few times. Will he ever recover?

So I'm meeting a book club tonight at Olive Garden to talk about Just Between You and Me. And I'm sick. I find pasta and endless salad bowls therapeutic though, so I'll probably be okay. Today was a disaster teaching though. With this particular lesson I've had to talk for two days in a row nonstop. And it goes a little something like this, “Today (cough) we're going (cough cough) to talk (cough) about (sniff) persuasive (cough) speaking (cough).  It was ridiculous.

And then at the beginning of the week I said, “Okay, one of you little brats breathed on me and made me sick. If I find out who it is, you are failing this entire semester.” A kid goes, “You…you think we're brats?”  Totally didn't care that I had threatened failure. I told him only germy kids were brats.

My friend, fellow teacher, and fellow book addict Carla sent me the link to the site This is Why You're Fat. She told me not to take the title personally, but thought this shrine to heart-attack inducing foods might be fun to look at. And it was.

Did anyone catch Taylor Swift on SNL last weekend? She did a pretty good job. I think she has some acting skills. I loved this spoof on Twilight.

Taylor TOTALLY nails the Kristen Stewart look in the first half in that cafeteria scene–head down, staring from corner of the eyes, mouth open, zombie like facial expression. Perfect.

I don't know why they aren't heavily promoting this yet, but Sherlock Holmes looks great. Check out the trailer HERE. Why does everything have to be so occultish lately though? Evil with Sherlock Holmes, what is that? Like crime isn't evil enough on its own, we have to add fiery stars and other Marilyn Manson elements?

My friend “Jane” is putting THIS on her Christmas list. A FUD–female urination device.

From the website: “If you camp, you’ll love GoGirl. If you ski, you’ll love GoGirl. If you boat, you’ll love GoGirl. If you travel, you’ll love GoGirl. If you just want to avoid the germs you find in nasty public toilets, you’ll love GoGirl.”

Okay, I promise you I won't love GoGirl. I would pee all over myself. Statistically, girls do not have great aim. But if you have to buy a gift for that lady who has everything–GoGirl. I guess it beats a Depends.

Christian Fiction Online Magazine is up for November. You can check it out HERE.

It takes forever to write a blog when you have to stop every few words and blow your nose.

Has anyone read If I Stay?

It's a YA that is getting buzz everywhere. I bought it. It has such a peaceful cover. It's about a girl who has a great life. Wonderful family. Then on a snow day, the family takes a drive. And get hit by a truck. It's no big spoiler that at least one family member dies. I knew this would happen going in. But what I didn't know was that the carnage of this peacefully covered book would be described in graphic detail. I really don't want to read about brain matter on the pavement. I didn't love it like most have. I thought it was reminiscent of The Lovely Bones, a book I liked but regretted reading. It was so haunting and ick. LB was a good, good book as in page-turning, but stayed with me forever. And not in a good way. But as in “I would love to erase that from my memory forever” sort of way.  Or maybe I'm just bitter because this girl in If I Stay has a horrible snow day. Because horrible snow days don't exist in my world. They are all happy events. And we shouldn't base tragic stories on snow days. Car wrecks happen on dark, stormy nights. Murders? Dark, stormy night. Serial killing? Dark, stormy night. Vampire attacks? Ditto.

Lives don't get destroyed on snow days. You know what happens on these magical days? Hot chocolate, movies, sleeping in, snow angels, texting marathons with friends.  Eating an entire bag of Cheetos in one day. Slurping Campbells Chicken Noodle soup and pretending like there aren't  scary chicken parts in there.  Quality time with Fruit Loops. These are the things that make up a snow day. I think I might have to write a book about it. Because If I Stay kind of gave it a bad rap. And that grieves my spirit. I think I'll go eat another handful of cough drops in protest.

Have a great weekend. Be well and snot free.

JEN