Praise the Lord and pass the yams, it is officially Thanksgiving vacation. A whole week off. I am beyond excited. This has been one of those weeks (well, months actually) when I have not been able to get anything done for a continuous list of little things. I was all geared up for NaNoWriMo, but every day has brought a new series of tiny “to dos” that has made writing pretty much impossible. And house cleaning. And cooking. And there was also that last Tuesday when I forgot deodorant. And Thursday. I won’t even tell you what I didn’t do Thursday. So, yes. A break. Ahhhh. Bring on sleeping in and no makeup and watching Good Morning America. In other words, finding OTHER ways to put off the things I’ve been letting go.

I didn’t see New Moon Thursday night/Friday morning. Did you? If so, you must comment and give me your review. I’m hearing it’s better than Twilight. Better done. (Is that even grammatically correct? More well done? Better did? Done to a degree of betterness? Exuding maximum betterosity?) Anyway, I hope to see it next week.

Don’t forget you have mere hours to get in the running for this week’s cool prize. We’re talking name in a future book, a 25 dollar gift card to Barnes and Noble, and a copy of I’m So Sure. You don’t want to miss it. Check it out HERE. Everyone’s responses to “name this sports team” have been so entertaining.  I have totally gotten some laughs out of them. Keep ‘em coming!

So this week we had speeches. The kids had to do a speech on what they would change about our school if they were to become the principal. With unlimited dinero. And even though I told them they had to follow the laws of time, space, gravity, and reality, I still had one ninth grader tell us that he would handle school security by hiring Batman. Anyway. I thought I’d share some quotes from the speeches.

“We’re in school seven hours with nothing to do. Well except work. Anyway we need iPods.”

“I would add automatic doors. Cuz doors have germs too, y’all.”

“We need better cafeteria food. My friend Nathan said the nachos gave him a nasty case of diarrhea.”

“The bathrooms are nasty. I asked my friend Kevin what he thought about our bathrooms and he said, ‘Holy crap. People need to learn to pee.’”

“The bathrooms are gross. And so we’re gonna have potty classes. If people fail them, they can’t pee. For a semester.”

(One student’s introduction) “Put those blackberries away and get your finger out of your nose as I tell you why I should be principal.”

“How would I fix the bathrooms? Music. I like to listen to music when I’m going to the bathroom.”

“The bathrooms are the dirtiest, smelliest, hell pits from a horror movie I’ve ever had the misfortune to see.”   (Afterward one student said, “Isn’t hell pit a bad word?”   To which the speech giver replied, “No. Hell is a place. Pit is a place. They’re both neutral, yet joined. Like an atom.” )

As I was grading I overheard a student telling another he was nervous. Here’s how that conversation went:
Student 1: I’m nervous, man.
Student 2: Don’t be. Just imagine everyone naked.
Me: Not everyone.
Student 2: Um, yeah, not Ms. Jones
Me:  Good choice

Here are a few more random student quotes from the last few weeks.

Students were asked to come up with a national holiday.
Student 1: Summer in the Midst of January Blonde Appreciation Day
Student 2: National Clean a Toilet Day.
Me: Why?
Student 1: I dunno. You told me to make something up and I made something up.
Student 2: National holiday from holidays day.
Student 3: National opposite day. You do the opposite of what you normally do.
Student 1: So you wouldn’t clean a toilet.
Student 4: I guess I’d have to go to school naked.

Question: What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?
Student 1: Pastel de tres leches cake.
Student 2: What is that?
Student 1: It’s God mixed with heaven mixed with all the nice things in the world.
Student 3: Possum

Me: What did you do this weekend?
Student: Fell on a thistle.

Me: Who is a famous person you’d like to meet?
Student: Al Green.
Me: Why?
Student: I want to understand why old people like him so much.

Me to Student Mary: What did Tim Tebow’s cheeks say during Saturday’s game?
Taylor: Boo Gators.