Happy two days before Friday!

Don’t forget the contest this week. For a chance to win a 25 Barnes and Noble gift card, your name in a future book, and a copy of I’m So Sure, read the directions on Monday’s post. I am LOVING your suggestions for fake football teams. Some have made me laugh. But I’ve written a few of them down as contenders for the book.  You all are so creative and clever. Or you’re avoiding real work. Which is a completely honorable pastime.

Have you seen this YouTube video? I feel the same way about my reflection in the mirror some days.

Or what about this dog. I love his reaction when his owner comes home from military service.

That’s so sweet. If I returned home after six months, Miller would be like, “You don’t look the least bit familiar.”

You know, I never did share my Halloween pics with you. I went with my family to a local pumpkin patch. I didn’t get to go last year, and I was more than a little bummed. So this year, I made sure I was present and accounted for. Here’s my family walking through the mostly-picked-over patch.

Here is my mom and I posing with the museum-quality artwork.

I don’t know why I had to be the cow.

I found an albino  pumpkin.

I so relate to its pasty whiteness.

Here’s my nephew ready to enter the mighty hay tunnel.

Behold its vastness.

Shrek pretty much scared the crap out of my niece. He almost ruined the hayride for me her.
The kids on the hayride. (After we assured her Shrek would not be riding along.)

Look how fondly my niece looks at her brother. I don’t think I ever did that.

My niece and nephew in their costumes.

He’s a hunter. And she’s not.

My stepdad’s carving skills.

I call it “A Gourd Interpretation on How I Feel About Vegetables.”

On my way home that night, I got behind these folks.

I guess this is what you do when you don’t have a trailer for a hay ride. Or maybe they just didn’t want their hair messed up.

Finally, this has nothing to do with Halloween, but I walked by a group of kids in my classroom and found this.

Oh, the youth of today. Why do classwork when you can play hangman and warn others about the evils of unicorns?

Have a great rest of the week. Keep those team names coming!

JEN

Happy Monday! After this week it is Thanksgiving vacation! Woooo! So looking forward to a week off. And eating. And shopping. And eating some more.

Did anyone see Stephenie Meyer on Oprah on Friday? It was a quick interview, but it was pretty good. I know Stephenie has had a lot of practice by now, but she speaks really well. But…for those of you who caught it, did she remind you of Lauren Graham? Check out Stephenie. Then Lauren (scroll to bottom). No wonder I like the author of Twilight. She looks like Lorelai Gilmore’s sister!

Congratulations to the winners of I’m SO Sure: Carrie Turansky and Colene. Ladies, just send me your mailing addys to jen at jennybjones dot com. Before I tell you about this week’s contest, I must dish about a book you are going to want to read.

I’m pretty sure I first heard about the book’s fabulousness from author and expert blogger Natalie Lloyd. Not only does she have awesome things to say in her blog, but she often has great book recommendations. When Natalie talks books, I listen. And I finally picked up The Magician’s Elephant. Oh, my gosh. I loooooved it. It’s a quick read. It has pictures (always a selling point for me). And it is the most beautifully crafted tale ever. It’s fairy tale like. It’s magical. It’s hope-filled.

It’s about this boy whose parents are dead. And he lives with an old man who is not so kind and quite crazy. His mother died giving birth to his sister, and the old man told him his sister died as well. Yet the boy cannot leave it alone. He believes, he hopes, that his sister is alive. So he takes a great risk and goes to see a fortune teller. This fortune teller tells Peter to find his sister, he must follow the elephant. The elephant? What kind of craziness is that? Peter is thoroughly discouraged at the woman’s cheap answer. . . until an elephant makes a rather startling appearance. And it doesn’t just affect Peter’s life. It affects the lives of a handful of people–lives that have been tied together with invisible string.

There are all kinds of random threads and characters in this book. And initially when you find a stray plot piece, you think “that’s random and pointless.” But then…then you realize there is no character, no word, no detail wasted in this story. Everything is related in the most brilliant, sigh-inspiring way. This book was like a cozy bedtime story. Would be great read aloud. Would be great read in increments. It’s considered juvenile lit, but I would recommend it for any age. Here is a favorite line:

Looking out over the city, Peter decided that it was a terrible and complicated thing to hope, and that it might be easier, instead, to despair.

And isn’t that the truth. Hoping is complicated, difficult business. The book is filled with themes of faith in the unseen, miracles, and about not wasting a single day. I loved it, loved it, loved it. Now I must go find Kate DiCamillo’s Edward Tulane.

I’ll be giving away a copy a little closer to Christmas, so stay tuned. It’s a perfect gift type of book.

In the meantime, let’s give away another copy of I’m So Sure. To spice up the haul, I’m adding a $25.00 Barnes and Noble gift card AND a mention in my acknowledgments if I use your answer. So book, gift card, and name droppage! Woo! Here is the question for the week: If you could name a fake football team, what would it be called?

Let me give you a little background. In the book I’m writing (go NaNoWriMo! I’m not last!), I have a HDLI (hot dude love interest) who is a former professional football player. (Or some manly sport. I’m thinking football. Let’s go with that for now.) Anyway, I don’t want to put him on a real team. I need him to be from an imaginary team. And I need some help in coming up with this name. It’s a lot harder than you might think.

So in order to get in the running for a copy of I’m So Sure And that 25 dollar gift card to Barnes and Noble AND a shout out in this future release, I need you to leave a suggestion for the team name. Or two. Or three. I will enter your name TWICE for every legit suggestion (manly sounding teams) and once for ones that make me laugh (like one I found on a fantasy football site–Roast Beef Curtains). One will actually be of use to me and one will make me laugh. Because sports–not a fun topic for me. And CHALLENGE yourself not to cheat too much and look up all those fantasy football sites and steal their names. Names like:

Moats n’ Hoes (what? what the heck does that even mean? Don’t you hate it when something strikes you as funny, but you have no idea what exactly you’re laughing at?)
Tylenol Cold and Coughlin
Farve Dollar Footlong (love that one)
Flacco Seagulls
WD-Forte
I Dream of Mangini
Kibbles and Vick
I’m Brinnging Hasselbeck
My My Myyyy Bironas
Henne Nut Cheerios

Good stuff. None of it useful to me. I need something legit sounding like the Broncos, the Bears, the Cowboys. And those teams won’t return my calls about letting me buy those names off of them. I mean, aren’t they tired of them? Time for new ones! But until they call. . .I must come up with my own. Can’t wait to see your suggestions! You have until Friday at midnight to leave your comments. Winner announced next Monday.

Have a great week. I am on Thanksgiving vakay countdown. Buh-ring it.

See you Wednesday unless another snot plague takes over my body.

JEN
P.S. No, you can’t suggest Snot Plague as a team name.

Today’s the last day to get in the running for a copy of I’m So Sure. Check out the details HERE.

So where WERE you all Wednesday?
Oh, wait. I was gone.

Between NaNoWriMo and a freakin’ cold, I am getting my butt kicked. Actually NaNo is not kicking my butt because that would require writing. But I think about NaNo. I think about it a lot. In between blowing my nose, eating another Halls, and trying not to yak up the Halls because 200 in a day is my absolute max.

Did anyone watch the CMAs? Country music tends to take care of its own, and Kanye West got his a few times. Will he ever recover?

So I’m meeting a book club tonight at Olive Garden to talk about Just Between You and Me. And I’m sick. I find pasta and endless salad bowls therapeutic though, so I’ll probably be okay. Today was a disaster teaching though. With this particular lesson I’ve had to talk for two days in a row nonstop. And it goes a little something like this, “Today (cough) we’re going (cough cough) to talk (cough) about (sniff) persuasive (cough) speaking (cough).  It was ridiculous.

And then at the beginning of the week I said, “Okay, one of you little brats breathed on me and made me sick. If I find out who it is, you are failing this entire semester.” A kid goes, “You…you think we’re brats?”  Totally didn’t care that I had threatened failure. I told him only germy kids were brats.

My friend, fellow teacher, and fellow book addict Carla sent me the link to the site This is Why You’re Fat. She told me not to take the title personally, but thought this shrine to heart-attack inducing foods might be fun to look at. And it was.

Did anyone catch Taylor Swift on SNL last weekend? She did a pretty good job. I think she has some acting skills. I loved this spoof on Twilight.

Taylor TOTALLY nails the Kristen Stewart look in the first half in that cafeteria scene–head down, staring from corner of the eyes, mouth open, zombie like facial expression. Perfect.

I don’t know why they aren’t heavily promoting this yet, but Sherlock Holmes looks great. Check out the trailer HERE. Why does everything have to be so occultish lately though? Evil with Sherlock Holmes, what is that? Like crime isn’t evil enough on its own, we have to add fiery stars and other Marilyn Manson elements?

My friend “Jane” is putting THIS on her Christmas list. A FUD–female urination device.

From the website: “If you camp, you’ll love GoGirl. If you ski, you’ll love GoGirl. If you boat, you’ll love GoGirl. If you travel, you’ll love GoGirl. If you just want to avoid the germs you find in nasty public toilets, you’ll love GoGirl.”

Okay, I promise you I won’t love GoGirl. I would pee all over myself. Statistically, girls do not have great aim. But if you have to buy a gift for that lady who has everything–GoGirl. I guess it beats a Depends.

Christian Fiction Online Magazine is up for November. You can check it out HERE.

It takes forever to write a blog when you have to stop every few words and blow your nose.

Has anyone read If I Stay?

It’s a YA that is getting buzz everywhere. I bought it. It has such a peaceful cover. It’s about a girl who has a great life. Wonderful family. Then on a snow day, the family takes a drive. And get hit by a truck. It’s no big spoiler that at least one family member dies. I knew this would happen going in. But what I didn’t know was that the carnage of this peacefully covered book would be described in graphic detail. I really don’t want to read about brain matter on the pavement. I didn’t love it like most have. I thought it was reminiscent of The Lovely Bones, a book I liked but regretted reading. It was so haunting and ick. LB was a good, good book as in page-turning, but stayed with me forever. And not in a good way. But as in “I would love to erase that from my memory forever” sort of way.  Or maybe I’m just bitter because this girl in If I Stay has a horrible snow day. Because horrible snow days don’t exist in my world. They are all happy events. And we shouldn’t base tragic stories on snow days. Car wrecks happen on dark, stormy nights. Murders? Dark, stormy night. Serial killing? Dark, stormy night. Vampire attacks? Ditto.

Lives don’t get destroyed on snow days. You know what happens on these magical days? Hot chocolate, movies, sleeping in, snow angels, texting marathons with friends.  Eating an entire bag of Cheetos in one day. Slurping Campbells Chicken Noodle soup and pretending like there aren’t  scary chicken parts in there.  Quality time with Fruit Loops. These are the things that make up a snow day. I think I might have to write a book about it. Because If I Stay kind of gave it a bad rap. And that grieves my spirit. I think I’ll go eat another handful of cough drops in protest.

Have a great weekend. Be well and snot free.

JEN

Welcome to Monday! (said with fake cheery voice and game show host smile)   Congrats to the winners of I’m So Sure: Salle, Ash, and Shauna. Ladies, email me (jen at jennybjones.com) your mailing addys. (And if you’d put I’m So Sure Giveaway in the subject that would be a huge help.)  Since we had such a big turnout for the drawing, I picked three instead of one. One of the perks of being blog boss.  The question last week was a hot one! And the fun thing is, the answers were so entertaining to read. THIS is why I don’t do algebraic questions of the week. The only reason.

Okay, let’s give away some more copies of I’m So Sure. How about two copies for next week (unless the masses come out again…which I love) of the book for answering this question: what is your favorite CD? You have until Friday at ten minutes past midnight to leave your comment.

My favorite CD would be the soundtrack from Wicked. I love it, adore it, and have worn that thing out. I’m in a “I can’t listen to that one more time” phase, but recently Glee covered Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” and it was awesome in a brand new way. What else do I listen to a lot…well, right now I’m listening to Carrie Underwood’s new one. It’s growing on me. Her voice is fabulous, but the music selections need a boost. Also listening to Miranda Lambert’s latest. That is one country girl who could kick some butt. One of her songs is called, “Time to Get a Gun.” Her last CD also included a song about waiting for a dude so she could greet him on her front porch. With a shot gun. Pattern here? Anger issues? I don’t know, but I like it.  Chris Tomlin’s CDs are obviously in my top ten.

How are those of you in NanoWriMo doing? I’m stinking, thanks for asking.  But this week is a new week, so look out. I feel a total slam dunk coming on. (Okay, no. I don’t. But I just wanted to talk tough like Miranda Lambert.)

I forgot to mention that a week ago I saw This is It, the sorta-documentary of Michael Jackson’s tour that was not to be. I am not exaggerating when I say it was so worth it. I loved it. It’s not edge of your seat riveting, but it’s good. It’s interesting. Basically you get to see what the concert would’ve looked/sounded like. And I’ve never seen anything like it–this was a HUGE deal. I can’t imagine how they would recoup their expenses. Because when you see the movie you’re looking at millions and millions of dollars in this thing–singers, dancers, Broadway sets for each song, mini-movies with high tech computer generated imagery for each song. It was unreal. A few things struck me as I watched the movie:

1. I finally know for sure Michael does NOT say, “You can’t eat the baby” on the song “Gotta Be Starting Something.” Kind of a relief.

2. The man cannot NOT move. He never quits dancing. Fearlessly. There is something really cool about that.

3. If he weighed 100 lbs, it would be because he was holding another person. How could anyone look at him and think he wasn’t in a health crisis?

4. I can still listen to some of his songs and think, “Um…I still have no idea what that means.”

5. Sparkles make everything better

6. Nobody looks good in orange pants.

7. Never trust a man in shoulder pads.

8. So many unreached dreams with this project–the dancers, the backup singers, costume designers. This was their big break. And now…nothing. I was glad the movie really brought that to life. This tour was more than just Michael Jackson’s career.  Everyone was hinging their hopes on it for their own personal reasons.

9. Everyone kissed his butt. Yet they were genuine when it came to their feelings about the tour. Every performer was ON FIRE for these shows.

10. I was blown away by his graciousness. Michael Jackson had some serious manners.

11. He says “God bless you.” Often.

12. I’ve seen the guy interviewed. I always feel a bit icky when I do because it’s just so awkward. But in this documentary–in his element, you see a different personality. Still a VERY unique fellow, but confident on stage and everything associated with it. And since the whole flick takes place in rehearsals, all you see is a comfortable Michael Jackson.

13. Despite all his personal troubles and controversies, dude was a genius. He had an ear for every single instrument and basically acted as the musical director. Taught the dancers. Taught the musicians. I knew he was good. But I didn’t know he was THAT good.

14. I loved when he told his girl guitar player, ‘This is your time to shine. . .and we’re going to be right there with you.”

15. If you love music, or if you love dancing–you gotta see this. Prior to the movie, I thought the tour was a weak stab at a comeback. But it wasn’t weak–it was a full arsenal attack to gain a foothold in a world that had rejected him, possibly misunderstood him, and underestimated his ability to still be the king of pop.

As someone who is very character driven when I write, I was quite hooked by this documentary. Because if nothing else, Michael Jackson was definitely a multi(x100) layered character.  And besides, who doesn’t love a movie you can sing to?

Okay, gotta go. I have to run with a friend (more like painfully trot), clean my kitchen (more like spray some Fantastik around and call it good), and write some pages for NaNoWriMo. (More like write a sentence, check my word count, check Facebook. Write another sentence, check my word count, check Twitter. Write another sentence. And celebrate with two hours of free time.)

See you Wednesday and don’t forget the giveaway!

JEN

Happy mid-week to you!

I’m So Sure has officially released. I’m giving away a copy (or two…) this week. You have until Friday night when the black crow flies over the cornfield to enter the drawing. See the details HERE.

If you watch Ellen, you know that every October she scares her guests in honor of Halloween. I loved it when Taylor Swift dropped by to visit. And when I say dropped…I mean that literally.

Okay, so Dr. Horrible’s Singalong Blog fans, have you seen Horrible Turn?

Is this a prequel? Is this Whedon or a copycat? I’m guessing it’s Whedon but WHERE is Nathan Fillion and Doogie? You can’t have a Dr. Horrible movie without the Doog.

I joke about smoking a lot. And I don’t smoke. Unless someone lights me on fire, I won’t ever be smoking. But it’s inventions like this that make me give it a second thought…

Are you kidding me? It’s acceptable in restaurants? At work? I can just see this craze taking over the world. I’ll be teaching and look out at a sea of 30 kids puffing away on their smoking simulators.

Did you know November is National Write a Novel Month? We writers do not believe in letting the pilgrims hog the calendar. For the first time ever I joined NaNoWriMo.  You register online and then log in your word count every day. Basically the goal is to write 50,000 words in one month. At least I think that is the goal. In true “me” fashion, I haven’t actually read the instructions. So that might not be completely accurate. I found out some other long-held beliefs about NaNoWriMo weren’t true. Like it’s not true that the losers are auctioned off as Russian mail order brides. And the winners don’t get to carry the Olympic torch.

But I’m pretty sure the 50k business is correct. And that’s a LOT of words for one month. For me that’s about 200 pages. And who has a contest to write an entire novel in the same month as that very special holiday in which people gather together and give thanks? And by that, I mean Black Friday. And then there’s that Thanksgiving thing too. Anyway, the cool thing about NaNoWriMo is that you can track your progress with a little gauge and also see your friends’ progress. And seeing other writers’ accumulating pages is what is keeping me going. It really is a motivator. My big goal for this competition is: Don’t Come In Last.  Lofty goal, I know. I like to dream big though. It’s just who I am. So join me in NaNo! I’ve already arm twisted, threatened, and blackmailed gently persuaded a bunch of people to join. And teens, there’s a competition just for you! So recruit some friends and get to writing.

Okay, enough pro-active talk about getting things done. Let’s talk about something I’m more familiar with–half-baked ideas! I’m currently writing a romantic comedy and…I have no idea where it’s going. Which can be nauseating, sleep depriving, and make one consider drugs and other varieties of illegal matter   fun!  But usually when I’m stuck with one book, ideas for the next will start to unfold in my head. (Because heaven forbid ideas for the book I’m WRITING unfold in my head.)  One of the ideas I’m kicking around involves some research. I mean, I don’t think there’s any way I could accurately write it without seeing the setting first hand. Two words: Dude. Ranch.  Now, if you’re like me, you will be saddened to know that a dude ranch is not a farm of hot men.  Think City Slickers. And if you’re age 20 or below then YouTube it.  So I proposed to my travel buddies a summer jaunt to a working dude ranch.

I just threw the idea out today, but my friend and I are already getting the ball rolling. It’s funny how a simple vacation idea can deteriorate so quickly. Here is a piece of our phone conversation from only hours ago. Names changed to protect the innocent and slightly deranged:

Chiquita: I don’t own a pair of boots. Do you have crappy jeans?
Mabel:  No. No crappy jeans. Just wear your Citizen and Joe Jeans. How bad can it be?
Chiquita: We’re gonna have to get us some snap shirts.

Chiquita: Do we have to have cowboy boots?
Mabel: I dunno. Maybe they’d let us wear Asics.
Chiquita: Then we’d be outcasts.
Mabel: We’d be dude ranch rejects.

Mabel: I’m not roping doggies.  (searching internet site of ranch…) Oh, look at those pictures. Everyone is wearing a hat. And bandannas. I’m not wearing bandannas. I’m not roping doggies and I’m not wearing a bandanna.
Chiquita: What? Why?
Mabel: Because. They’re…ugly.
Chiquita: What’s wrong with bandannas?
Mabel: What’s RIGHT about bandannas?

And then a later email...
Chiquita: Don’t forget chaps.
Mabel: Already have buttless ones.
Chiquita: Figures.

I’ll keep you posted. This should get REAL interesting. . .

Much obliged you stopped by.
JEN