Congressmen Ask the Toughest Questions

Don’t forget our giveaway this week. I know you’re gonna want a signed copy of YA author Stephanie Morrill’s Out With the In Crowd. You can see contest details HERE.

I am on snow day number three. What a way to extend Christmas break! We are expected to get a little more snow tonight, so the rest of the week looks iffy. But it is freezing. I love snow, and I love snow days, but this bitter Arctic cold is a bit much. My hands look like they belong to a 90 year old woman.

I read a great book this week.
miraculous journey edward tulane

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane is by fabulous author Kate DiCamillo. I loved The Magician’s Elephant and was excited to try out this book that I’d heard even more raves about.  Well. . .nobody told me it was gonna be sad. And it was. But it’s so worth it. I can’t recommend this enough.  DiCamillo is about sending messages, and it’s usually really obvious, but it’s wrapped up in so much good stuff it totally doesn’t make you roll your eyes. Instead you read the pages and just nod your head and think, “Amen, sister. Amen!”  The book is about a toy rabbit who is there to be played with and loved. . .but realizes he doesn’t love and give back to others. So begins a journey where he becomes the rabbit of various types of people–a hobo, a lonely couple, a dying little girl, and his heart and mind are opened to how life is about giving love to get love. Omigosh, it’s so awesome. I’d recommend this book for any kids or adults. Please read this book. But grab a Kleenex for the ending.

So I graduated from my crazy diet yesterday. In case you missed that scintillating detail of my life, my doctor put me on a no sugar, no yeast, no wheat, no nothing diet. So I could eat lightly seasoned meat, most vegetables, and a little bit of fruit.  It was kind of hard–especially in the beginning. In fact, during the first three days I thought I was gonna turn into Medusa and snakes would shoot out of my hairline. But after 30 days, it is over. I celebrated by leaving my doctor’s office and heading straight to Braum’s for a cappuccino chocolate chunk ice cream cone.  Might’ve later topped that off with some Moose Munch. And an iced tea.

So last Saturday I had the privilege of meeting with a U.S. Congressman and asking him a million questions for about an hour. He was so incredibly kind and helpful and generous with his information and time. I could’ve sat there for hours. This is for research for the book I’m currently writing, where the HMOUP (hot male of unrealistic proportions) is a former pro football player and making a bid for Congress. I had 3 pages of questions for Congressman Boozman, but I knew, I KNEW he would ask me at least one question himself: What is this book about? I thought about that for a few days. And came up with nothing remotely intelligent. I mean I write comedy. Comedy that dips its toe in the occasional moment of farce. This man makes life altering decisions every day. The fate of health care and the economy rests on his shoulders daily. And I have to tell him that he’s investing his time with me so I can write a book about two people who pretend to be engaged. Niiiice.

So here’s how that part of the conversation went:

Congressman Boozman: Tell me what the theme of the book is.

Me: (Thinking, yes! Safe question!) The theme is about forgiveness–God’s definition of forgiveness–not ours.

Congressman Boozman: And what is the book about?

Me: (face falling. eyes rolling in back of head where I’m searching for ideas in the outer reaches of my brain….)  Um, it’s about a guy. And a woman. And they pretend to be….well, you see, the guy is a wealthy playboy from a famous family–like a Kennedy, but yet not like a Kennedy (WHY did I use the word playboy! Why! Who uses that word anymore! What if he thinks I’m meaning a male whore, that I’m writing a  book about a male whore who wants a job JUST LIKE HIS.) And he’s running for Congress and he’s a really unlikely candidate and it’s not going well so he asks this woman to pose as his fiancee but they don’t love each other and then of course they will and he has no qualifications to run for office but when has that ever stopped anyone omgiosh was that insulting because I didn’t mean that quite how it sounded but in the end they kiss and live happily ever ever.

And then I ended it by saying something like, “Um….yeah.” Nodding. “It’s not gonna win any Pulitzers or anything.”

So like Stephanie Morrill and I talked about on Monday’s blog, it is REALLY hard to explain your own book. Especially when it’s not a serious book. Or when you’re talking to someone who does serious work. And you write one liners. And kissing scenes. And fart jokes.

Have a great week. Don’t forget to enter the contest for the free copy of Out with the In Crowd.