Let There Be Light


I just bought the weirdest looking alarm clock ever. In fact, every time I look at it, I “see” something different–none of it appropriate. It looks like when the Stark Trek TV show got canceled and cleared out the set, this is what was left.

So I have fought the battle of the curtains in my bedroom for a few years. After a lot was cleared and a house went up, suddenly a street light was not just newly visible, but turned its high beams right into my window. I mean it was like sleeping at the end of an airport runway. So my blinds needed some help. Over the next few years, I go through the process of trying out about 50 sets of curtains to block the light. Finally I find something that works. But maybe a little too well. Now when my alarm goes off at 5:00 (and 5:30…and 6:00…and 6:30….), I wake up to a room that’s black as the bottom of a coal mine.

And it’s almost impossible to get up. If it weren’t for the fact that I like the occasional paycheck, I probably wouldn’t even bother. But I had decided, after reading some confirming research, that my brain gets confused without any light in the morning and does everything it can to stay in “sleep” mode. Thus. . .the Sunrise Clock.

The Sunrise Clock doesn’t just wake up you with optional beeping. It wakes you up with gradual light, supposedly simulating the rising sun. (I held my face over it for 30 minutes, but I cannot report a tan. Of course I could hold my face over a blow torch and still not report a tan.) To me this little (or kinda big actually) gadget makes perfect sense. At least until I can afford remote control blackout blinds set on a timer as seen in Cameron Diaz’s house in the movie The Holiday.

So this morning is the Sunrise Clock’s debut. At 5:30 the light slowly comes on. And it gets a little brighter over the course of next 30 minutes. At least I think it did. I wouldn’t know. Because you know how you sleep through your fancy new Sunrise Clock? You pull the covers over your head. No more light!  So yeah, back to the drawing board.

What is your wake-up routine?  Mine is to hit snooze on my radio alarm for a solid hour. And I never get up during a song. That’s just rude and disrespectful to the artist. I wait until I hear the news. Then the weather. Then three more songs. Then some DJ banter. And I don’t roll out of bed until:
1. A commercial for Wild Harry’s Used Cars
2. My cat barfs on something
3. a song comes on that uses the words “I didn’t see that semi coming.”
It’s my system. And it works. Sorta.

Would love to hear your morning routine. Surely someone’s has to be worse than mine.