Besides the Fat Paychecks, This is Why I Teach
I’m sad to say this semester’s group of kids aren’t as quote-worthy as my previous group. But I finally rounded up some and thought I’d share.
Student 1: My favorite possession is a stuffed pig.
Student 2: You should upgrade it with an automatic oinker.
Student 3: My phone has texting. Which keeps me from being a social outcast.
Student 4: I’m not Catholic, but my rosary beads…they make me feel kinda Jesus-y.
Student 5: My favorite possession is my Chap-Stick. Who knew such a small tube of goop could be so wonderful?
Student 6: (Guy student, athlete) My favorite possession are my shoes. Those who know me, know I’m like a chick when it comes to shoes.
Student 6: My baseball shoes are my favorite. They never let me down when I want to break someone’s ankles and make them go cry to mommy.
Me to Kids: What was your favorite TV show as a young kid?
Responses:
Dexter’s Laboratory
Sponge Bob
Scooby Doo
Cat Dog
Law and Order
(Overheard conversation in class)
“What’s your last name?”
“McBride.”
“Do you spell that with a K?”
(Overheard conversation in class while students were preparing a skit.)
“So it’s like we man-hug and then we’re done.”
Me: If you could go back to any period in time, what would it be?
Student 1: Dinosaur days. I’d have a dino rodeo.
Me: What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen? For example, one of mine would be Daredevil. It was so bad, it was entertaining. Like I called people and told them to see it.
Student: I think you called me.
Me: You woke up with a super power today. What is it?
Student 1: I’d have a twelve-gauge for an arm.
Student 2: Bed vision. With one beam from my eyes, a bed would pop out.
Student 3: I’d want to talk to fish.
Student 4: Super tiredness.
Me: You want to be tired?
Student 4: Super wake-up-ness
Student 5: The one where you touch touch and it turns into Skittles
Student 3: What if you hug your girlfriend? Do you have to wear gloves?
Student 6: The power to go back to bed.
Student 7: The power to get chicks.
Me: I brought some candy to give you guys.
Student: Is it good candy or is it grandma candy?
Me: What’s grandma candy?
Student: Like butterscotch
Me: Good candy (as I smile remembering the bowl of butterscotch always on my grandma’s counter.)
From a student’s paper:
“Too much homework makes me want to crawl into an oven until I’m burned to a crisp.”
Me: Who is your least favorite singer?
Nick: Preston. He’s horrible in the shower.
Me: (Laughing) THAT is not appropriate.
Nick: I meant in the locker room.
Me: What is your speech topic on?
Student 1: How to make a computer game.
Student 2 (indecipherable whispering to Student 1)
Student 1: How to make a computer GAME. Not how to make a computer gay.
Aren’t they cute? If you would like this kind of entertainment, you can sub for me ANY TIME. The closer they get to Spring Break, the more well behaved and studious they get….really… I would never lie about that.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend.
JEN
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7 Comments so far
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That’s awesome! I should have been a teacher… can’t beat that kind of entertainment!
I have a friend who is a 2nd grade teacher and posts some of the classics on Facebooks… here’s a good one… Me: Ok, boys and girls, who can raise their hand and tell me what the word “disguise” means? Student: it’s like, “Hey, look at dis guys.” ooooh goodness.
Have a great weekend!
Bhahahah I love your students and I haven’t even met them!
haha…I loveee these comments. And since I am a high school student to, I know how this goes. I hear stuff like this every day..lol.
I want to be a teacher someday, and that just made me want to become a teacher even more now! :]
Loved those! I used to work in a high school and now work in an elementary school and the things kids come up with are just too funny!
For instance, at the high school there was a boy who didn’t seem to feel a need to follow the rules. The assistant principal was talking to him about him and he said to her “I hate this place and all the rules. I’m going to go join the military.” Yep, because the military has no rules to follow
.
Last year a 1st grader slapped a 5th grader. I asked the 1st grader why and his reply was “He told me to.” At my blank look he responded “He was talking and I told him to be quiet or I would hit him and he said ‘Try me’ so I had to.”
I’ve been writing down a list of funny things I have to say to students and funny things that they say. I’m planning to post it on facebook over the summer to remind myself of why I’m going back in August. =)
LOVED the grandma candy comment.
LOL! Hilourious!
I can’t wait until your next book comes out. You should give us a preview of it like you did for “So Not Happening”.