Christmas Shopping Hints

Oprah has picked her 65th book club selection–A Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations. No offense to an author who has been a dead white male (as my friend Rhonda would say) for about 140 years, but clearly Oprah's out of things to read. Every semester my kids do a speech titled “What I Would Do if I Became Principal.” The most repeated idea this year? Banning the forced ninth grade reading of Great Expectations. So Oprah, I know 1500 teenagers who won't be joining your club. Now if you'd gone with Percy Jackson…

We're on the home stretch to Christmas break, for those of you who are in school. Or get a paycheck from a school. Or just like to miss a lot of work in December. And maybe as this holiday draws near, you need some tips on what to get those special people in your life for Christmas. Fear not. I'm here to help. And not a classic book in the mix.

1. For that person who has zero taste in attire and just needs to add to that collection of holiday sweaters. Browse HERE.

2. For that person who is easily amused.

3. For that person who loves to sing in the shower (you know who you are). Maybe it's time to step it up and get yourself some stage lighting.

4. For the Bret Michaels in your life.

5. For the feminist in your life.

6. Need your Mister to get to the Honey-Do list? How about a big terry-cloth hint?

7. For that creepy kid in the family who just won't be satisfied with that Justin Bieber CD you originally purchased.

Creepy, eh? I don't have a problem with Chris Angel. But why does he have to look like Satan's step-son?

8. For the pyro in your life. Now he can be three times as efficient.

9. For the child who has everything. . .except maybe your affection.

That is a hot toy for Christmas. And $75.00. And hideous. And already needing a brow wax. And a child would want an automated cave man because…? But then we all probably have one of those “what was I thinking” toys in our past. I remember when I was about four I asked for (and got) a cow you could milk. A sad, sad replacement for a pony.

Hope these helped. All of the above also make good bosses gifts. Or Breaking Up gifts. Or “This Was All Walgreens Had At Nine PM on Christmas Eve” gifts.