One more day until Save the Date officially releases! Congrats to Leah, winner of Save the Date. Leah, email me and send me your snail mail addy please.

Oh, Old Man Winter is really jerking my chain. (What does that phrase mean exactly?)
For days we heard about this winter system coming in. Last Thursday, my favorite forecaster, Weatherman Dan, said it was going to be significant and maybe up to five inches. Then by Friday night all three major network weather channels said “The system has shifted. This will be a rain only event.” As I told a friend, I got so depressed I thought about jumping off my roof, but then I got busy doing something else and forgot about it. Then by Saturday the weather guys start tweeting about a total Snowmageddon, with the models showing up getting a foot or more of snow. (This is major, MAJOR for Arkansas. We can’t even function with a few inches of snow.) Then tonight, it’s back to 2-3 inches with some ice.

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, weathermen! You’re driving me crazy. What we need are weather WOMEN. We know how to TC of B. (take care of business) and make a decision. “Snow. Half a foot. Quarter inch of ice. Done.”

Actually we don’t need weather women. I like my weather men. Dan is my favorite, because he also likes snow and is just nice, followed by a guy named Garrett, because he’s the most accurate, with Weatherman Who Shall Not Be Named coming in third because he’s pasty and totally lacking personality. Last night Dan tweeted about crazy snow totals coming in, and I tweeted him back, asking how much. And get this…he answered me. I about fell out of my chair. Do you have any idea how much this means to me? Like I was all giggley and fanning myself.   Dan.  Weatherman. My Platonic Weather Related Crush. Sent me a tweet. About 1-2 feet of snow. Weathermen are such rock stars.

AND this weekend I found out that there is a program that companies, such as Wal-Mart use, that forecasts the weather for seven years. So that way they know in 2013 they need to order more umbrellas because it’s going to be a rainy summer. HOW do you get your hands on this magical program? I must know! I could hold the power of foretelling snow days in my hands!  AND THEN I said to my friend who imparted this news, “Wal-Mart should have a job, where that person just studies the weather patterns.” (she says dreamily…) And then Friend says, “They do. There’s a guy that does that. That’s all he does.” CAN you imagine? I must somehow make this guy disappear and take his job. Imagine. Me–alone with weather trending all day. Sighh.

So I finally got with it and saw Social Network. I didn’t dig it. First of all, Mark Zuckerberg was a total jerk and weirdly, socially awkward. I thought he acted like he had Aspergers. This is a fictional account (wink-wink), but this guy basically threw people under the bus for his own gain. This character and I would not be friends. I thought the movie was slow, but it was interesting. I had no idea the founder of Napster was so involved in the rise of Facebook. Or that the founder of Napster looks like Justin Timberlake! On a side note, the real Zuckerberg and the actor who played him were both on Saturday Night Live this weekend. It was also awkward.

So Taco Bell is being sued in Alabama because their taco meat is only 36% beef. Taco Bell has taken out full page ads in major newspapers, saying, “Thank you for suing us,” because it gives them a chance to tell the word that we can trust their tacos. Because they’re 88% beef. And 12% secrets. (Oh, thanks. I feel much better…)

I better go and check the weather. Surely it’s hit land by now and they can have a more accurate forecast for the love of all that’s cold, frosty, and school-closing. But on a closing note…I miss waffles.
That is all.

Today a list of things to discuss.

1. Don’t forget I’m giving away a copy of Save the Date, which officially releases next week.

2. Rel of Relz Reviewz, one of my favorite people, is also giving away a copy HERE.

3. My oh-so-talented former student Sydney has a blog, which I love, and wants to get 1000 views on her blog by Valentine’s Day, or VD. Not to be confused with STD. (Save the Date. . . ) Sydney is my mega-talented (now college) student who will one day kick Lorne Michael’s butt out of the SNL seat and totally dominate. It couldn’t happen soon enough… (Did you see how they wasted Jim Carrey? Come on!)

4. American Idol. What do you think? I watched part of episode one and was like, “ZZZZZZZZzzzzz….”  But then I saw everyone singing J-Lo and Steven Tyler’s praises on Twitter and decided to give it another try. Y’all…it’s not bad.  I love Steven Tyler, no matter how many druggies and drinkies he has, but I didn’t expect him to be good at this. Check out this story and watch for Tyler reaction in the very end of the video below. Guy has personality AND compassion. Like…he’s good at being nice and conversational.

5. I’m blogging over at Southern Belle View today on my childhood church.

6.

That is a big picture, eh? 
If you’re in Arkansas Feb. 18-19, come join us for a two day “Beautiful Girls” retreat. I’ll be speaking Saturday on being royalty and the daughter of a king. Um, that’s the Lord. I’m not Prince Charles illegitimate love child or anything. (Though one time I did write Princess Diana a letter and ask her if I could come live with her.)  I’m not the main event, but Michelle Duggar is! Before you laugh, Duggar Doubters, Michelle happens to be an excellent speaker. I know this. Because my friend Kari said so.

7. Thank you to my friend Brooke who pointed me in the direction of this snow reporting sassy lady. Have you ever meet a “Meegan” who wasn’t straight up sass? No, you have no. They’re always fiesty! (” Who’s zooming who?”
“And of course Los Angeles is sitting over there at 62. Mmm-hmm.” “You shoulda been trying to get some more plows…on sale.”)  I don’t think Meghan/Meegan/Meagan and I could hang out. Her anti-snow venom hurts my heart. (Is she holding her own camera?)

8. Watch the first 10 seconds of this one of Meeegan…

9. I saw Despicable Me finally. It was good! Love Steve Carell.

10. Speaking of Steve Carell, did you hear Will Ferrell is doing a four-episode guest arc on The Office? I’ll be watching! I hope there’s cowbell involved.

11. Go see The King’s Speech! Go see The King’s Speech! Yes, it’s Rated R, but the film company sued over that and I can totally see why. There is maybe 60 seconds of cussing, and it is true to the story and does serve a purpose. (The King had a speech impediment and this movie is partially about overcoming that, and trust me, it’s relevant, no matter how hard it is to hear.) This movie is Rated G with that one PG-13 moment. I am dumb-founded that it is rated R and disheartened as many conservative movie goers will shy from it just for the rating alone, and it’s such an important story. Not an edge-of-your-seat story, but if you love documentaries, if you love anything Royal (like my father, Prince Charles), you will love this.

12. Guess what, scientists have dismissed all the bird and fish deaths. They have settled on the theory that the birds got startled by NYE fireworks. Uh-huh. Gee, I’m so surprised this has gotten swept under the rug…

13. My publisher and I have been talking YA book covers, specifically the cover for my September release, There  You’ll Find Me. Looking on Amazon, I found a ton that I loved, but I have a feeling, no matter what my book is about, this one , which is totally irrelevant, would probably sell some copies to teen girls no matter what. . .

Have a wonderful weekend. I am all blogged out today. We have a 60+ degree weekend on tap, and then Sunday a system rolls in that could bring “significant snow.” I am pretty much beside myself. My mom is trying to cancel out my prayers with her anti-snow prayers, but does she have a corresponding dance? I don’t think so.

Before we jump in, I’m giving away a copy of Save the Date. Read on to discover how you can score the win.

The lovely and talented Kimberley and Kayla Woodhouse had me stop by for a blog visit where I paid them to say nice things about me, and you can find that HERE. I think those two girls are the bee’s knees. And Kayla is the youngest published author of a full-length novel. Can you imagine the talent? This family has also been on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and all sorts of cool stuff.

I made a deal with myself I wouldn’t read any reviews on Save the Date. But I’m failing. Especially when they are as as surprisingly kind as THIS and THIS. This it totally God, as this book and I almost divorced a few times. I had sooo many friends praying for me as I wrote all 500 versions of Save the Date, so that it could be anything but kitty box liner is totally divine grace. And good editors. And lots of fajitas. I’m grateful God specializes in making all things new–including my messes.

Love is in the air. (What a transition.) With the release of Save the Date to my trying to set up my friend Jill, to our march toward the big February 14th, I can sniff Cupid from here. (I always imagined Cupid smelled like Little Debbie’s. The Zebra cakes. Even though Fudge Rounds are my favorite. But they don’t exactly smell. Or maybe I always eat them too fast to notice.)

In case you missed Friday’s bonus blog, my friend got me hooked on a blog called Kelly’s Korner, and after reading it a million times, I knew I had to play along. So I created a post about my friend Jill, who is so stinkin’ cute and funny and smart and successful and full of Awesome Guy Worthy Wow.  So if you know of a great Christian guy for my friend, let us know. I am probably enjoying this a little too much.

In honor of all the romance swirling around, I thought we should talk dating advice. In Save the Date, Lucy has her heart set on a man named Matt, but then Alex offers her a deal she can’t refuse, and she has to take it. Will Matt still be there when all is said and done? Can she survive “living” in Alex Sinclair’s world? I wondered about her dating tips and came up with these.

Lucy Wiltshire’s Advice for Dating

1. When in doubt which fork to use, just eat the Twix in your purse.
2. Just because a man looks like an Adonis, has a loving heart buried beneath his hot exterior, and kisses like a dream, does not mean he’s the one for you…right?
3. Always let him drive. Especially if he owns a BMW.
4. Money may not buy happiness, but it is does buy fried chicken. And that’s pretty darn close.
5. Find a friend who knows more about hair and makeup before going out with America’s favorite quarterback.
6. Watch some SportsCenter before going out with America’s favorite quarterback.
7. When you fall for said quarterback, do not let him know.
8. If Mr. Football Stud asks you to his beach house, you must say yes.
9. If Mr. Football Stud asks you to an art gala with lots of expensive things on the walls, you must say no.
10. No date is worth dieting for.

Along those lines, I’d like to offer some dating advice myself. I call it “Topics To NOT Use As Conversation Starters.”
After much field research, I believe it is safe to say it is in your best interest to avoid saying the following:
1. Guess how many toxic chemicals are in bacon? No guess.
2. My cat barfs. Wanna hear my theories? Um-kay.
3. Does dairy make you phlegmy too?
4. You’re SO much better looking than that guy I picked up off of Craig’s List.
5. Wanna hear about the time I was in first grade and drank chocolate milk through my nose?
6. And then when I was in second grade…
7. Who’s your favorite on Jersey Shore?
8. Some people say I look just like Scarlett Johansson. What do you think?
9. Have you ever used the puke bag on an airplane? I have. Funny story…
10. I think sports are stupid, don’t you?
11. Of course I play a musical instrument. I just happen to have it with me. Any requests for my nose kazoo?
12. So about your prison record…

What about you? Teen or Teen at Heart, what are some tips for surviving a date? Never been on a date? Too young to date? Too long since you’ve had a date to call them? NO PROBLEM! Just make something up. Best one wins a signed copy of Save the Date, so you can see if Lucy’s rules were of any help at all. (Contest ends Saturday. Winner announced next Monday.)

I love a good love story, don’t you? I’m about to do something kinda crazy and not really relevant to this blog, so bear with me. A good friend of mine sent me an email recently and introduced me to a blog, Kelly’s Korner, where a woman was inviting people to post links of single friends, and maybe with all the entries, matches could be made. ( Before you laugh, this blogger has had over 22 million hits. I am proud of this fellow Arkansan.) The blogger did this very thing last year and two couples are now engaged. At first I was semi-appalled. But then I kept checking the website. Then checking it again. Now I’m flat out addicted. I’ve been reading everyone’s bios and there are just so many stories there. And I keep matching people in my head. (I just read two novels about match makers, so maybe it’s just a bug in my brain.)

I couldn’t get it out of my head. And I thought…I know single girls. And I have a blog. And I want to play along! So without further adieu, I’d like to introduce my friend Jill from Arkansas. She is a Godly gal, a corporate success, beautiful, interesting, funny, and willing to be subjected to my quirky little plan. Y’all, I’m like Chris Harrison! This is so fun, and my girl Jill so deserves a wonderful guy.

As her friend, I can tell you she is really smart, kind, enviably cute, a snazzy dresser (again, envious), funny and quick-witted, intellectual but loves to have fun. She is faith-filled and pursues Christ with her heart and life. She also does shots from the Fountain of Youth, as she looks at least ten years younger than her 34. So far she has not fessed up to her secret. I’m hoping if she finds a like/love match, she will cough that info up. For the sake of our continued friendship.

My friend Jill:
1. 34
2. Manager of a category for a well-known company
3. Loves Jesus and has led a small youth group of girls for almost 15 years.
4. Loves to read, travel, shop
5. Interested in politics and adores Ronald Reagan

6. She loves college football (cute AND loves sports? Dude magnet.) Adores the hogs.
7. Also adores her family and is very close to them. Jill is crazy about her role as aunt to her niece. 
8. Loves the History Channel and reality TV
9. Loves new adventures and is always up for having fun
10. Graduated college with a degree in marketing

Jill and her brother

Thing she’s looking for in a guy:
1. Godly man who will be spiritual leader of the home
2. Someone who has a relationship with God and doesn’t just go to church on Sunday and wear the label of Christian.
3. Someone intelligent
4. Employed (Jen adds: and has most of his teeth and doesn’t ascribe to the Matthew McConaghey school of No Deodorant)
5. Sports fan would be nice
6. Humble and doesn’t think he’s “all that.”

Jill in center, celebrating a Razorback game.

So…there you have it! If you know someone who would be perfect for my sweet friend Jill, then send me an email at jen {at} jennybjones {dot}com and let me know some qualities and info on your guy, and I’ll pass it through my Friend Setter Upper Filter and get it to Jill. I’m SO EXCITED!!!!

Also feel free to leave a comment of encouragement to Jill. This is not exactly the easiest thing to do. (Friends with Jenny=thrown under bus…)

Let the Bachelorette show begin. (Minus the hot tub scenes. Minus the keg parties. Minus the girl fights. Minus the skankiness. Minus…)

Old Man Winter was very good to Arkansas Thursday. Some parts got up to six inches. My yard only saw three, but it was enough.

I don’t know if you know this (insert wink), but I adore a good snow day. Is that putting it mildly?  Okay, snow to me is like street drugs to Charlie Sheen.

I love snow for a lot of reasons, one of them being that it makes me so poetic and such a deep thinker. Here are some reflective thoughts I came up with while on my day off.

1. My attempts to telepathically convince my neighbor kids to bring me my mail were unsuccessful.

2. The hill behind my house could be perfect for sledding. Except for those 200 trees.

3. My snow day hair could scare small children. And Chinese dictators.

4. Forgoing hygiene gross? Nay, character building.

5. Snow days are far more enjoyable when all of my family is safely tucked back in at their respective homes. Thus, I am recommending they all become teachers, so they, too, will experience the joy of these frosty workless days. And detention slips. Also nice.

6. Sometimes people email me and angrily blame me for the snow. I’m talking to you, co-workers. And Mom.

7. You say lazy, I say Nappishly Efficient.

8. My back yard is crying for a snow angel.

9. Snow and sugar free diets are a crime against humanity.

10. Dear hot chocolate, I miss you. And love you. And wonder if you think of me, too…

11. All attempts to get work done are futile. So is wearing anything but sweats.

12. All attempts to sleep before night of undeclared snow day are futile.

13. All attempts to avoid the chips in my cabinet? Also futile.

14. Somehow the snow freezes my cooking abilities.

15. When deprived of carbs for weeks, everything looks like a cupcake.

16. Frozen streets somehow make General Hospital watchable.

17. Upping the telepathic ante to neighbor kids with bacon does no good.

18. Wish Sonic would deliver me a tea with their rabbit pellet ice. And a banana split.

19. Healthy meatballs made with beef, tomatoes, carrots, and cauliflower do not honor the Lord or his bountiful snow.

20. Cutie oranges have stayed me in a few dark, sugar-detoxing hours.

21. On snow days, I am easily overwhelmed by a to-do list that includes anything more than turning a page, picking up the remote, or fluffing my pillow.

22. What’s better than one snow day? TWO snow days. Friday, I’d like to introduce you to my friend Polar Fleece Britches.

22. No snow dance is ever wasted. Neither is my 1989 bedazzled unitard.