I have a student in my Speech class who is from a foreign country. English is not his first language, and he does not like to talk, does not like to make eye contact. Which is kind of problematic for a speech class…
Every day I call roll and have each student respond by answering the “question of the day.”
“Mark” hates it. It’s like pulling teeth. The kid just wants to be left alone.
But he’s my project this semester. I’ve wearing him down with my obnoxiousness persistence.

Last week the question was, “What’s one thing you plan on doing this weekend?”
“Mark, what about you?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on. You gotta say something.”
“I do not plan ahead, so I cannot say that which I do not know.”
“Okay, tell me one thing you did last weekend.”
“I do not know.”
“Just onnnnne little thing. You can do it!”
“We celebrate Chinese New Year.”
“Really? Awesome! So did you have a big dinner?”
“Yes.”
“What did you eat?”
“Dog.”
Class goes silent.
Nobody moves.
“Dog!”  I repeat in the same tone reserved for “Cheese burgers!” or “Funnel cakes with extra powdered sugar!” 
“Yes.”
“Well…awesome!” In my head I’m giving myself all sorts of high fives for keeping an interested face (you totally earned a chocolate shake after school), for maintaining enthusiasm, and for not whipping out my phone and calling PETA.
“Oh, wait,” says Mark. “Dog. You hear dog. No.” He shakes his head. “I mean duck.”
And 30 people in one tiny classroom release one audible sigh.
And share one big laugh.

This story presented with apologies to the puppies who died in my head.

I’m about to say something that’s bound to tick someone off.
But let’s talk about the sanctity of my friend Pinterest.

I am not a seller. Never have been.

A long time ago, in a far off land when Michael Jackson was black, Van Halen jumped, and I was a Brownie scout, I sent my cookie order form with my mom to work, then cast googoo eyes at my uncle, who liking cookies and having no daughters of his own, bought enough to earn him Uncle of the Decade. That year I got sales girl of the year. For that my family clogged their arteries with a ridiculous amount of Caramel Delights, giving them health issues that probably just showed up on a cholesterol test in about 2010, and I got a Girl Scout necklace. “Hey, fellow third graders, you seeing my Samoa swag? You and your Thin Mints better recognize.”

In retrospect, there are worse jobs than being a cookie pusher.
So we’ve established that I’m just not inclined to be a seller, so hear me with that big fault in mind.
In the best of situations, this is not my gift.

But I’m saddened over the sales-taking-over of Pinterest.
For those of you who haven’t caught the Fever of Pinterest, this is an online bulletin board, where you “pin” items you like on your boards, which you put in categories. For example, I might have categories like decorating, art, clothes, hair, book covers, recipes. And on my decorating board, you might find pictures of lamps and light fixtures I’ve found online or taken from my light-fixture-obsessed-taking camera. You  might find pictures of someone’s living room. (A decorated living room. Not like a picture of my boss’s living room taken from the outside shrubs at 3:31 a.m.) Each “board” is like an idea board. Very, very clever concept. And if you want, people can follow you, see your ideas, repin them on their boards. You find things on the homepage or the boards of others, pin items on your space. It’s a big community of “Hey, I found this cool idea/picture/hairdo/recipe/paint color/scarf-tying method and I’d like to save it and share.”

Today I read an article on how authors can use Pinterest to sell books and lure in readers.
And the predatory tone pretty much broke my heart.

Then there’s THIS article on how tech brands can jump on it. The article describes why it’s not quite mecca for tech products yet, reasons like they have to bend to Pinterest’s format, as Pinterest won’t adapt to theirs. And how Pinterest is primarily made up of women and men mostly don’t get the draw. I think a lot of people aren’t “getting” it.

I’ve seen Pinterest become distilled this year by people with an odd need to be heard in a forum where it doesn’t belong–the pro-lifers with no filter (Move over wedding pictures, here’s a picture of a fetus with a genetic disease!), skinny girls (the original 1%) who attack the overweight with photos of those dying to be thin (Your Chicago-style pizza recipe you just posted will never satisfy you like 400 squat lunges and no body fat!), the breast feeding-as-art camp (This is video footage of my boob… if it were directed by Quintin Tarantino), and so on. That bothered me. I once contacted Pinterest about a teen girl who was posting pics of her cutting escapades. She didn’t need Pinterest. She needed intense therapy and a hug.

Over the last few months, I have seen Twitter announcements of musicians and bands announcing their Pinterest pages for us to follow. Really? Because Keith Urban also likes shabby-chic and new recipes of cheesy chicken enchiladas? Because Lady Antebellum, you wanted to share your latest project using chalkboard paint?

I totally understand an author, musician, or any self-employed person feeling the intense pressure to get the word out in any way possible. On the same day I read the Pinterest articles, I read a blog from an author giving very real numbers and facts about his income, restating again that this is not a business that you can count on to make a living salary. I get that. Maybe less since I’ve always kept the day job (the thrill of writing detention slips is too grand to give up…), but mostly I think I feel it less because I choose not to. I don’t want to be the person who ruins the party. I don’t want to be the person you metaphorically ignore when I ring the doorbell.

Just because an avenue of communication is available, doesn’t mean we should take it. I don’t want the publishing, art, music communities to get to the point we’re handing out our cards at funerals and pasting our book covers on the back of wheel chairs. We need to respect the ones who were there before us and the central purpose of the outlet that was created. If I post a book cover on Pinterest, it’s because it goes on my “favorite book” board or because I like the cover. It’s not there because “I’m trying to sell you something.” I’ve got outlets for that.

These are desperate, crazy times for the publishing community. Every article I read is overwhelming and scary.  (Get out of traditional publishing! Change your name and reinvent yourself! It’s Us vs. Them! Deceptive contracts! Improperly reported e-sales! You’d make more selling yourself as a mail-order bride!)  But that doesn’t mean we have to act desperate and crazy.
I don’t want book sales achieved because I made myself look bad, made someone uncomfortable, or intruded where it was not appropriate.
It’s about integrity.
And it’s about the fact that I’m still looking for a recipe for twice-baked potato soup that doesn’t use potatoes I have to actually cut.
And I can’t do that if I have to wade through a homepage of self-promotion.

This time next year I will probably be singing a different tune, but this is where I am right now, as I read more and more of folks going on Pinterest not with a true interest, but with a strategy.
God knows we all gave in on Facebook, which for a handful of happy years was just where you went to find your eighth grade best friend or that guy you sat behind in college biology. So as Pinterest changes, maybe my opinion will too.
But for right now, for me, I’m staying true to the original intent of Pinterest.
I think the site is a genius idea. And I don’t want to be part of the movement that forever alters what it does best.

I was never a good cookie salesgirl.
I’m not a good book salesgirl.
But I know where to go to pull photos when it’s time to paint my kitchen.
And I know where to look when I need a suggestion for a good book.
And only one of those is Pinterest.

At least for now. : )

I love a good mocha frappuccino.
I can suck one down in record time.
And someone always notices.
They always comment.
“Did you drink that already?”
I look down.
Feel guilt.
Feel weird.
And wonder.
Is this is my super power?

Jim Carrey’s daughter auditioned. I love Jim’s response on the phone after Daughter gets her results.

Love J-Lo’s reaction to meeting her. “Do you remember me? Your dad and I were on In Living Color together?” Jane Carrey pauses, but J-Lo continues. “I was a fly-girl!”
Jane: “I was two.”
Those of you watching AI, do you have an early favorite?

What did you think of Downton Sunday? What was the point of Matthew being MIA for like 10 minutes? Because it gave Mary more time in her musical solo? Then Matthew came walking in, joined in singing, and they were all J-Lo and Mark Anthony. Plus Edith.

Okay, what is going on with Seal and Victoria Secret?
If they can’t make it, I don’t know who can.
It can’t be parenting stress, as they have 3 nannies, with two always on the job at once. I once saw an interview where Heidi Klum admitted she had never changed a diaper. So it wasn’t because she was always on Huggies duty.
Maybe it’s because when they vacationed, Seal wore Speedos. In California, grounds for divorce include incurable insanity, irreconcilable differences, and obscene swimwear. I really think Heidi has a case here.
Actually my theory is it’s either a publicity stunt or (more likely), things fell apart because the man of the house was not as financially successful as the lady. Sometimes it’s just the burden we super models bear.

Have a great week.

Let’s talk about Downton Abbey. Did you watch the two hour opening?
I must confess…I was bored. I have a simple brain. There’s a reason I read People magazine and not the Wall Street Journal. There are too many dang storylines and people in Downton.  It probably didn’t help that I watched it on my bedroom TV, which is roughly the size of your palm, which hangs from my ceiling on the opposite side of the room, and as usual, I refused to put on my spectacles. So every male under the age of 4o started looking like Matthew. (Why’s he working in the kitchen now?)  But even with 20/20 vision, I’d still think there are TOO MANY PLAYERS ON STAGE!!!

Side note: Elizabeth McGovern has been living in England for the last 20 years. She says it’s because she got married. I say that’s where folks go to escape the sorrows of not being 80s cool. Madonna Louise Cicconi, I’m talking to you.

There will be at least a Downton Abbey part 3, right? So I’m forecasting here, and I’m saying that either/both Matthew or Mary will marry. Then whenever this thing is truly wrapped up, they will be reunited. Right now they have no chemistry, and that worries me. They had Season One chemistry. Maybe they don’t have any Season Two Tinglies because they are too busy following the cast flow chart. It’s hard to give sizzling looks when you’re constantly playing Six Degrees of Mr. Banks.

I do appreciate how they’ve upped the dry witted lines of Dame Maggie Smith. She is a little less serious and sour this season, and now is more the comic relief in the guise of being a curmudgeon. It’s a break from the true DA1 character, but it’s so freakin’ good, I don’t care. I pretty much live for anything she says. Plus when I see her, I know she’s definitely not Matthew.
That’s granny.

And letting Thomas back in the house again? To OVERSEE it? Do they not have their glasses on either? Are they nuts?

If Cook doesn’t keep pushing Daisy into deceptively being engaged with William, I think Cook should have to marry him herself.  William and Cook. Lovely couple.

I’m not a fan of Mr. Banks being for real married. I seem to have missed out on that fact in Season One. Or was that an end of season reveal?
In last Sunday’s episode he told Anna that he had proof his wife was cheating on him. He reported this information while in a clandestine meeting with the woman he’s pledged his love to. Cheeky, Mr. Bates. Cheeky.

I still love Downton. Really digging Sybil. She has moxie. And glad Edith got some atta girls Sunday night. She normally gets treated like she was found on the doorstep with a note that said, “Please care for her. Signed, Jeffrey Dahmer.”

What do you think of Downton? What’s your favorite?

What’s a song you’re loving lately?

First of all the winner (one single winner, as I did not get snow) of Circle Maker by Mark Batterson is Emily K. Emily, email me your addy, girl. For those of you who listen to podcasts, Batterson just started a Circle Maker series at his home church. (Search itunes for National Community Church.)

Second, let’s talk book covers. Like many of you, I always have my eye out for some good book coverings. I so appreciate blogs dedicated to the art like ThatCoverGirl.com. Here are some faves of late. Note: A few of them are kinda old. Years old. A few I stole from Natalie Lloyd. Two from Sew Technicolor. Thank you for supporting my pirating.

I’m a horrible collage maker. It took me exactly 4 million hours to create that. And I cut off poor Steve Earle’s book. I did not do it justice, so look it up and view it all by itself. It deserves that. Some of these are old, like the Lucado book. But I still like it. It still catches my eye after a few years. Love the font on Gettysburg. Love the folky chaos of Earle’s.  Ebert’s is so simple, but it fits him. Fits his passion for all things cinema. Classy. Understated, yet the font makes it. Redefining Beautiful cashed in on a trendy color that has yet to detrend. Plus the accent of black is always cool. I like how simple it is. I assume it’s for teen girls, yet it doesn’t say, “Hey, we think you’re really ten.” Great job on that.

Next up, some fiction.

None of these fit together. Further evidence of my collage-creating-suckiness.
I love the cover by David C. Cook publishing of Don Reid’s O Little Town. That would be the Don Reid from the Statler Brothers. Love the colors on that, again the pop of trendy blue, and the vintage station wagon. Very homey and vintage and cozy.

I stole the Little Women from Sew Technicolor, but I love that one! Great pink on pink. Jo March would hate it, but she can stuff it.

I’m usually not drawn to Debbie Macomber’s covers because they’re a little too blah for me. But I’m hoping the cover for Out of the Rain means they’re moving in a new direction, like publishers have recently (finally) done for Nora Roberts. This one reminds me of something you’d see from Marisa de Los Santos, who usually wins the cover jackpot.

I’m a sucker for dress covers. I especially like it when they don’t busy it up and let the dress be the focus. The cover for What Alice Forgot is interesting because that’s the UK version, and it’s so much prettier than the US version, which seems to be reaching out to a different audience. That version would’ve made me cry. And move to Britain.

Finally, a few more. A better collage, if I do say so myself.

Love the dress in The Selection (thanks to Natalie Lloyd for pointing that out.) Love the Lisa Dale book. For Passing Love, I like the dark dress with the contrast of the pink belt, though I don’t love the tulip. Maybe that’s significant, like her Eiffel Tower bracelet? I like the top half of the Art of Saying Goodbye, which reminds me of a Sarah Addison Allen, someone who has to be the luckiest of the lucky when it comes to cover creation.  Joshilyn Jackson also has some nice ones. Love the green gingham on A Grown-up Kind of Pretty.

I like this cover of To Kill a Mockingbird.

I liked it even more when I saw what Kristin from Sew Technicolor had done. Check this out.
Can you believe that talent? So cool.

For album covers, my favorite this year was this one.

Probably the snow and the pop of red. I’m not a Buble fanatic, and I don’t really care for Christmas music, but I liked this cover.

I thought this article from Publisher’s Weekly was interesting. It’s about how they gave Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book (YA, juvie lit) a new cover and sold it to adults. Have to admit, I like the adult cover better.

Some interesting thoughts on dead girls on YA book covers. I’ve never had that. Farm animals? Yes. Dead chicks? Nah.

Another good article by PW about the cover-sales connection, and how you’re sunk if your book is wrapped in unnecessary ugly or if it doesn’t stand out because it looks like all the rest. So good.

Any favorite covers out there? Dish!

Have you seen this aerial photo of a river’s path on the desert?

“Just bought a 3d Kindle…..also known as a book” (SydneyD)

So the police were sent to shake up a five year old about her overdue library books. That is awful. And slightly funny. You don’t mess with librarians. Poor kid’s gonna hate cops for the rest of her life. Hope she doesn’t grow up to be a serial killer. All because she didn’t return Goodnight Moon.

It’s that time once again when I share funny tweets. Written by other people. Other people who don’t know I stole them. (Credit given in parenthesis. Sorta.)

Refusing to go to school tomorrow. Who needs it? It’s called Pinterest… #soleplaceoflearning  (Elliott)

THERE IS NO REASON THE PICKLE JAR LID SHOULD BE ON THIS TIGHT. PICKLE THEFT IS NOT ONE OF SOCIETY’S MAIN PROBLEMS! (Allie)

That awkward moment when you start talking to a cute guy who looks like he’s your age, but he’s really only 13. #cougar (Ashley, tweet one)
Marinating in shame, if you were wondering. (Ashley, tweet two)

12yr old gave 7yr old a lecture: don’t judge things by how they look on the outside. It’s whats inside that counts. All wasted on a banana. (cupcakegirly)

While shopping, 6 y.o. daughter said “You are denim, I am sequins!” (GeorgianaD)

The Baby has a new flair for mixed… idioms, I guess. “Oh my cow!” and “Holy stars!” and “For crying out Pete!” and “For loud’s sake!” (SavannahB)

Not sure which is scarier…my mom’s driving or the fact that she knows almost all the words to Selena Gomez’s “Love Song” (Ashley)

That awkward moment when you find out that all the scenery in White Christmas is fake. #lifeshattering (Karly)

Everything you say can and will be used against you in the court of mom. (SydneyA)

Taking a conference call on a horse! (SteamyKitchen)

Just discovered that twelve novella collections exist about matchmaking regency kittens. TWELVE. This makes my evening much more exciting. (the_authoress)

As a general rule, anyone driving slower than me is wrong, and anyone driving faster than me is illegal. (Courtney)

Funny people at yoga. During a 5 minute chair pose the girl next to me said, “I don’t want to be fit. I just didn’t know til right now” (BrendaAKeller)

The feds are acquiring everything we’ve written on Twitter. Luckily for me, I usually tweet about diarrhea. (KatyMcKenna)

WHY ARE HARD BOILED EGGS SO HARD TO MAKE? I am going to have to get these down if I want to be a top-notch trophy wife. (SydneyA)

“Duty is beautiful” -Professor Allen.
Giggle, giggle (Karly)

People who’ve written/are being paid to write books: Tyra Banks, Pippa Middleton, and that Snooki thing. People who won’t finish writing: me (SavannahB)

My parents lack of Harry Potter knowledge is revolting. (Karly)

Charlie, my four year old brother, told us the chicken we had for dinner tonight was “sexy awesome” (Elliott)

Just write “I’m good. I’m the best. I’m the smartest.” on all of your applications and call it good. -My grandpa’s advice. (SydneyD)

A little part of my soul dies every time I get passed by a Prius on the highway. #embarrassing (SydneyA)

Have a great rest of the week!