I’m a little worried. I just realized most of my back-to-school clothes have ruffles. This is disturbing. I hope the next step isn’t writing sonnets and playing a lute.

Good weekend, everyone? I had inservice on Saturday (teacher informational meetings of matters so critically important, it couldn’t wait ’til Monday) and survived it. But just barely. For most of it, we were in our arts center, which has comfy theater seating, and as if they’d never taught children, they dimmed the lights. Cardinal rule when speaking to people who are not giggly excited to be in your presence (basically for anyone who is not a rock star)–never turn the lights off. Sometimes I show video clips in my classroom, and my kids will say, “Turn the lights off! We can’t see!”  Just squint. It will be fine.  Anyway, it was so hard to stay awake. Especially when the last 2 hours were just a pep talk. I don’t know that anyone gets more pep talks and has to listen to more inspirational crap than a teacher.  Given our paychecks, we’re already here for altruistic reasons, so do they really think some quote involving the words: journey, dreams, and wings is really gonna give us warm, tingly feelings? The answer is no.When one gentleman got out a guitar and began to sing about our profession, I thought I was gonna…buy him a ruffly shirt.

I had one last jaunt out of town before school started. For my mom’s birthday we surprised her with tickets to see her favorite duo Brooks and Dunn, who are divorcing and on their last tour. So my aunt, mother, and sister in law (see picture above) went to Kansas City for some boot scootin’ fun. Except we didn’t wear boots. Exhibit A:

See that water bottle? After you buy them at the concession stand, they take your lid.
“Why?” my aunt asked.
“So you won’t throw them at the stage,” I said.
“We can’t throw bottle caps?” Mom asks. “Bra time!”

Here are my mom and aunt. Aren’t they pretty?

Bring on Brooks! Bring on Dunn! We’re not afraid to throw undergarments!

Opening for the opening act was a newcomer named Tyler Dickinson. We decided he’s probably supposed to be the male equivalent of Taylor Swift.

He sang “I’m Just Like Hank.” Pretty sure you’re not, but good luck to you all the same.

Gary Allan opened for B and D, and I decided this guy just needs a hug. He’s a little intense.
I think if you got close enough, you’d probably hear growley noises from him. He started out in a suit which included a jacket and leather pants. Leather+sweat+stage lights cannot be a good combination. Bless him for his sacrifice in the name of art and chafing.

As he sang, he gradually ditched articles of clothing.

Forget the jacket!

Then forget the jacket, tie, and the last 4 buttons on my shirt!

We thought he was gonna shuck off the leather pants. We had to hold my mom and aunt back from rushing the stage. Those ladies.

I sat behind Bob Pinciotti from That 70s Show.

The next day we went shopping in Kansas City. What a great town. I don’t know why we don’t hang out there more often. We went to the Plaza Something or Another Shopping Area. Awesome place. I went straight for a little piece of heaven on earth.

Isn’t that the perfect place for a Restoration Hardware? What a great building. The RH catalogs say they are going through a transition and working on their brand and direction. They are on a “journey.” So far I’m not impressed. Stuff is dark and dreary and monochromatic. And weird. I mean, like this chair.

Who sits here? Gay Batman?

We went to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. We don’t have one of these restaurants in Arkansas, so we usually stop at one when we can. I used to hate cheesecake, but over the last decade I’ve grown to love it. Why that same phenomenon couldn’t have happened to vegetables, I have no idea. Outside the Cheesecake Factory there is a fountain.

Let’s zoom in on that. The guy has no arms, but he doesn’t seem to care.

Check out my man boobs. I know I am.

We are four women who are easily entertained (see picture above). We also live in Wal-Mart country, and there is not a Costco within spitting distance. The nearest one is four hours away. We have been hearing of this Costco place for years. It’s a sad fact that “Go to Costco” resides on my bucket list. (Right under hold my breath underwater for more than 10 seconds). High goals. Anyway, my mom wanted to go “if we had time.” And we were all like, “Shoot yeah! We’ll make time! We’ll spend the night if we have to!” So unlike our own Sam’s Club, Costco doesn’t sell/give out day passes. So…it’s a very long story how we got in and purchased items, but yeah for Costco for such great customer service and letting us come on in with our wide eyes and debit cards.

Costco had all sorts of neato things I didn’t even know I needed. Like this.

A giant skull! Gimme three! I’ll put it with the 400 lb bag of dog food and the 20 pack of 5 inch binders!

I hope you had a great weekend! I know some of you are getting ready for school, buying school supplies, and stressing over your class schedules. Then there’s the “get my kids outta my house” stress. Or the “School is in Session Traffic” stress. Oh, school. You cotton headed ninny muggins.

Where is your weekend getaway place? Folks around here head to KC, Tulsa, or the big one…Branson, Mo. What about you?

See you Wednesday!

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Okay, I have no post. Nothing prepared to discuss at all. Because my work week started on a Tuesday, which was a Monday, but it was really a Tuesday, which clearly made today a Thursday. And Wednesday? It got eaten.

I don’t watch The Office because I’m not cool enough. I really struggle with this. You have NO IDEA how many people suggest this show to me. In fact, people usually just start a conversation with me about it, assuming I watch it. I don’t. I do think it’s funny, and I’ve seen multiple episodes. But 1. It’s often uncomfortable. I don’t deal well with awkward situations. Even fictional ones. Meet the Fockers was one of the most traumatizing movies I’ve ever endured.  2. It’s slow with LOTS of excessive pausing. 3. There kinda isn’t a plot. I want to be cool enough to love this show because there are such great quotes from it, and it is awesome, quirky writing, but I can’t do it.

All that to say, there are a few names being tossed around for Steve Carrell’s job, and I really want Rhys Darby, of Flight of the Conchords, to get this job. He has awkward cinched. He eats it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Mary from Giving Up On Perfect is giving away some books, including Just Between You and Me. You can check that out HERE. I love the title of her blog. I’ve given up on perfect too. I’ll probably remind myself of this tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m. . .

My friend Snow Loving Holly has talked me into getting up at 4:30 tomorrow morning to work out. I don’t know if I can get up that early. And if I do, I don’t know that our friendship can stand the test of my pre-6:30 morning attitude. Or the hair. I must know…what is your workout regiment? Morning? Noon? Evening? Never? Weights? Cardio? Nothing more than lifting a box of Twinkies? Please inspire me with your calorie burning bragging.  I just ordered P90X myself.  I have a feeling it’s gonna make a great coaster.

Back to school for me. More meetings today. And the next day. And the next. Right through Saturday. I HAVE TEACHER INSERVICE ON SATURDAY!!!!!! It’s a mad, mad world. (This would be the same world where it’s okay for 65 year old Rod Stewart to have a pregnant wife.)

Back to my meetings. Have a great Thursday Wednesday.

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Have you ever thrown something in the trash at night so you wouldn’t eat it and then dug it out the next morning?
Me neither.

The picture above is from Isle of Palms, a small beach community near Charleston, South Carolina. This is also where you will find seven million dollar homes along the beach and where a scene takes place in my winter release Save the Date.  When that book hits the shelves, summer will be a distant memory, and I’ll pull out my beach pics and have warm fuzzy summer thoughts. Because I have had one fabulous June, July, and August.

This summer I:

1. Painted the interior of my house

2. Painted some more

3. Took classes for school

4. Took more classes for school

5. Went to Charleston, SC

6. Frollicked on the beach

7. Did not get a sunburn

8. Almost died of Hot Historical Homes Without Air Conditioning Syndrome

9. Drank ridiculous amounts of iced tea (no sugar, if you please)

10. Worked on a book

11. Worked on a book some more

12. Went to Savannah, GA

13. Saw historical homes that DID have air conditioning

14. Coerced my family into going on a Savannah ghost tour

15. Got rained on during said ghost tour

16. Got attacked by a rogue militant band of mosquitoes on tour…though no one else did. Spooky? No, just itchy.

17. Stayed on Tybee Island

18. Frollicked on the beach

19. Did not get a sunburn

20. Did not get stung by freak amount of jelly fish

21. Ate at Paula Deen’s

22. Missed seeing Paula by a millisecond

23. Ate so much Southern food, my arteries are Kentucky fried

24. Read some books

25. Went to Kansas City

26. Ate a piece of cheesecake big enough to satisfy Goliath and his entire inbred family.

27. Realized I’ve been using the wrong form of inbred all my life and reflected how this will change many a lesson plan

28. Saw a concert

29. Had a great time with my mom and family

30. Got to August 9th, my last day of vacation, commemorated this Monday with a breakfast of cold fajitas and Fruit Loops.

31. Pulled out my teacher’s hat, dusted it off, and hugged summer goodbye.

What about you? If your summer was a list, what would it say?

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I am pooped.

Reasons I am exhausted and in need of frozen dairy sustenance:

1. Editing. I make mistakes. A lot of them.

2. Lack of sleep. The word summer in Latin translates into “it’s hard to go to bed.” Last night (or this morning) I went to bed at 2 am (see item number one) and finally woke up at nine when the ding of a text thankfully pulled me from a nightmare about…packing my suitcase.

3. Vampire Diaries. I rarely watch TV. And I don’t say that all uppity-like. I’m not reading the Wall Street Journal or painting beautiful but obscure abstract art during this time. For some reason a few years ago the television and I just fell out of love with one another. Lucky Charms and I had the same experience about a decade earlier. I think my lack of cable enthusiasm might’ve coincided with the cancellation of Friends, but I’m not sure.  But usually every summer I find a TV show in reruns that snags me and lures me in. This would be how I found Gilmore Girls. One summer Dawson’s Creek came on three times a day, and the drug known as Teen Angst in a Small Town roped me in and I was hooked. I saw the entire series that summer. Very productive. So, yeah, Vampire Diaries. I had watched the premiere episode when it debuted and was mildly impressed, but not enough to keep watching. Then I accidentally saw another episode a few months ago. I’m afraid to say it was awesome.(Note: this is not a TV recommendation)

4. Watching my grass die. Last year I asked my regular handy man to fill in this wilderness area on the side of my house with something low maintenance. I suggested decorative gravel because, believe it or not, that is a perfectly acceptable thing here in the golf town in which I reside. Mr. Handy Man buys sod. And now I have to water this stupid stuff. Watering grass–what IDIOT came up with this? And I PAID someone to talk me in to this? Rocks don’t ask for water. They just want to be who they are.

5. Painting. So last week I started painting. Then I stopped halfway through because I had real work to do. Then I painted a picture frame. Then I painted some trim. Then I painted my mantle. I still have half a house and two tables to go. I don’t want to talk about it. Lindsey Lohan and I need help. I know this.

6. Thoughts of school. File this under “I don’t want to talk about this, Part II.”

7. Jonah. I started a Bible study called Jonah by the always clever Priscilla Shirer. You should check it out. It’s good. It’s about divine interruptions.

8. Online classes. I have to take six of them before I return to school. I meant to do that in June and July, but those two months up and ran away, and now I’m stuck with August. I picked really educationally relevant classes to take though. Like the one on Garage Band.

9. Reality TV. Keeping up with the goings and comings of American Idol. I would say now would be a really good time for Simon Cowell’s camp to start advertising his new show.(Side note: if Simon Lythgoe is returning as producer, will he still judge SYTYCD? I don’t watch that either, but the few times I’ve seen it, I’m always impressed with how amazingly classy he is. Dude is just kind. And well spoken. Big loss if he goes.)

10. School supplies. I love them. I watch the ads for them starting in June. Is there anything better than Post-Its and pens in colors of sherbet? No, there is not. Sometimes I buy office supplies I don’t even need just because they’re such a good deal in August. A 2000 pack of rubber bands. If I ever meet Willie Nelson I could give them to him for his hair. Twelve boxes of jumbo paper clips? If my students and I get trapped in my classroom during a fire, we can make a rope and crawl to freedom. Never mind that I don’t have a window in my room, the paper clips were twenty-five cents each. Back packs for five bucks? I’m not ashamed to bear the face of Justin Bieber on my back in the name of economical book toting.

And what about you? What exciting things are you doing before you head back to school or say goodbye to summer?

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Years ago our district started a reading program, and now thanks to that and wonderful teachers like my friend and critique partner (read: unpaid editor), Erin Valentine, our teens are reading maniacs. In one of our junior highs, EVERYONE read during reading time, including the principals. Not only did this up our test scores, promote literacy, and make us all around-cooler, but it gave us all something to talk about. It was nothing to have a kid ask a principal what she was reading. The conversation usually started with, “Whatcha reading that’s good?” a buzz-phrase Erin started that led to many awesome conversations.

Even though I no longer teach English, I still maintain a classroom library in my room just for the joy of loaning out book recommendations and getting to talk books.

While on vacation a few weeks ago in Georgia, I made myself read a few things I normally wouldn’t. (Meaning, put DOWN the YA!) I thought I’d share what I’ve read lately, but THESE ARE NOT NECESSARILY RECOMMENDATIONS.
I’m currently reading this, after a tip from my friend Wise Lizann (of the painting advice).

I can’t recommend it enough. SOOOO good. It’s about how small we live and how God wants us to be lion chasers and do big, gigantic things. Lizann loaned me her copy, but it was so great, I had to order my own.

Okay, I caved and read one YA, but it’s been on my TBR pile forever, and since the sequel just hit the NYT list, I thought I had better catch up.

It was an interesting read. I could really see a specific group of my teen girls liking it, as it is about a girl who falls in love with a wolf. I hate it when that happens. Excessive facial hair is so obnoxious on a date. Probably for the mature teen in terms of content. And fur.

I read this on the recommendation of Natalie Lloyd, who has the best book recs.

Isn’t it a beautiful cover? The fun thing is they had a little dilemma choosing the cover, and you can see some of their choices HERE. It would’ve been hard to pick. (Thanks to Natalie for sharing that as well.)  This book didn’t grab me right away. The writing did (beautiful and worth reading just to absorb it and learn), but the plot didn’t immediately take me in. I like a fast-moving book. But after talking to Becky at Thomas Nelson, who also has great reading taste, and she mentioned the book, I thought, I have to finish that thing. So I did. And I’m so glad. It’s a great book. It is not a YA book, so this is not a recommendation for those of you who might be a bit young for it. But I’ll definitely be checking out more of Allen’s books. This one is mainly about two characters–one woman and one teen, and how their lives intersect in this small town where strange things happen. Emily is trying to fill in the blanks of her deceased mother’s  life, and grown-up Julia just wants some peace as she comes back to face her father’s old restaurant, her high school love, and secrets she left behind. Recommended!

I’m blowing this cover up because I LOVE it.

Just looking at these beach house colors makes me happy. This also is NOT a book for teens. I would call this book sweetly disguised Southern chick lit. Dempsey’s life falls apart, and so she heads to Georgia to fix up the old family place her father inherited. Of course, it’s a total dump and comes complete with a mysterious vagrant. She meets Tee, a handsome and noble lawyer, becomes one with the town, and learns DIY is more about fixing up a house. This is a light beach reach, and I think I enjoyed it even more reading it from the shore of Tybee Island, where I know, according to my Better Homes and Gardens magazine, the author has a beach house. I tried to find it and stalk her, but I think we all know how effective my stalking skills are. (Exhibit A: Chris Tomlin is now engaged. Thank you reader and friend Bethany for breaking my heart the news.)  On a side note, I ADORE the skirt in the cover. And her vintage suitcase. And the chippy pink paint. Because paint and I–we are one.

How can a book with a frou-frou puppy on the cover be anything but grand?

Before my vacation, I had not really read Ms. Macomber. This is also a light read with a fairly large cast. It’s a sweet book, and though it’s not Christian fiction, it has a few powerful messages, including one of faith. The characters, all widowed women, decided to make a list of 20 things they wish for, hope for, dream for, aspire to. It can be something simple like have one good belly laugh to something big like to go to Paris with someone you love. It can be specific like learn a new language or general like find happiness. The ladies get together from time to time to eat and discuss their progress, much like a book club. They also scrapbook their journey, which I thought was a clever idea, even for someone like me who is not a scrapper. (”Are you a scrapper?” Name that movie!) I’m passing this book on to friends because I thought the idea of Twenty Wishes was so inspiring. Recently my hairdresser told me it wasn’t until she started writing her life goals and dreams down that she started achieving them. And how much better to have a group of friends to hold each other accountable?

That’s some of my summer reading so far.
So. . .whatcha reading that’s good? I’d love to hear it!

*photo credit: Pepo

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