Happy Monday! I only have one more Monday left before I return to school, but I don’t want to talk about it.

ACFW has announced it’s book of the year finalists, and a few familiar ones made the cut. If you’re wanting to check out some Christian fiction, this list might be a good place to start.

Debut Author

Bonnie Grove – Talking to the Dead (David C. Cook Publishing)
Liz Johnson – The Kidnapping of Kenzie Thorn (Steeple Hill)
Kirk Outerbridge – Eternity Falls (Marcher Lord Press)
Jill Eileen Smith – Michal (Revell)
Dan Walsh – The Unfinished Gift (Revell)

Contemporary Novella
Barbara Cameron – One Child (Thomas Nelson)
Barbara Cameron – When Winter Comes (Thomas Nelson)
Debra Clopton – A Mule Hollow Match (Steeple Hill)
Susan May Warren – The Great Christmas Bowl (Tyndale House)
Beth Wiseman – A Change of Heart (Thomas Nelson)
Beth Wiseman – A Choice to Forgive (Thomas Nelson)

Historical Novella

Victoria Bylin – Home Again (Steeple Hill)
Vickie McDonough – A Breed Apart (Barbour Publishing)
Vickie McDonough – Beloved Enemy (Barbour Publishing)
Janet Tronstad – Christmas Bells for Dry Creek (Steeple Hill)
Carrie Turansky – A Shelter in the Storm (Barbour Publishing)

Long Contemporary

Christina Berry – The Familiar Stranger (Moody Publishers)
Mary Ellis – A Widow’s Hope (Harvest House Publishers)
Joyce Magnin – The Prayers of Agnes Sparrow (Abingdon Press)
Susan Meissner – White Picket Fences (Waterbrook Press)
Marlo Schalesky- If Tomorrow Never Comes (Multnomah)
Susan May Warren – Nothing But Trouble (Tyndale House)

Long Contemporary Romance

Candace Calvert – Critical Care (Tyndale House)
Denise Hunter – Seaside Letters (Thomas Nelson)
Jenny B. Jones – Just Between You and Me (Thomas Nelson) (woo!)
Beth Wiseman – Plain Promise (Thomas Nelson)
Cindy Woodmsall – The Hope of Refuge (Waterbrook Press)

Mystery

A.K. Arenz – The Case of the Mystified M.D. (Sheaf House)
Mindy Starns Clark – Under the Cajun Moon (Harvest House Publishers)
Darlene Franklin – A String of Murders (Heartsong Mysteries)
S. Dionne Moore – Polly Dent Loses Grip (Heartsong Mysteries)
Janice Thompson writing as Janice Hanna – Pushing up Daisies (Heartsong Mysteries)

Long Historical

Deeanne Gist – A Bride in the Bargain (Bethany House)
Robin Lee Hatcher – Fit To Be Tied (Zondervan)
Maureen Lang – Look to the East (Tyndale House)
Siri Mitchell – Love’s Pursuit (Bethany House)
Allison Pittman – Stealing Home (Multnomah)

Long Historical Romance
Amanda Cabot – Paper Roses (Revell)
Mary Connealy – Cowboy Christmas (Barbour Publishing)
Mary Connealy – Montana Rose (Barbour Publishing)
Laura Frantz – The Frontiersman’s Daughter (Revell)
Ann Gabhart – The Believer (Revell)
Julie Lessman – A Passion Denied (Revell)
Janice Thompson writing as Janice Hanna – Love Finds You in Poetry, Texas (Summerside Press)
Kathleen Y’Barbo – The Confidential Life of Eugenia Cooper (Waterbrook Press)

Short Contemporary
Debra Clopton – His Cowgirl Bride (Steeple Hill)
Myra Johnson – Autumn Rains (Heartsong Presents)
Vickie McDonough – A Wagonload of Trouble (Heartsong Presents)
Mae Nunn – A Texas Ranger’s Family (Steeple Hill)
Glynna Sirpless writing as Glynna Kaye – Dreaming of Home (Steeple Hill)

Short Contemporary Suspense
Jill Elizabeth Nelson – Evidence of Murder (Steeple Hill)
Sandra Robbins – Final Warning (Steeple Hill)
Virginia Smith – Murder at Eagle Summit (Steeple Hill)
Virginia Smith – Scent of Murder (Steeple Hill)
Jenness Walker – Double Take (Steeple Hill)
Lenora Worth – Code of Honor (Steeple Hill)

Short Historical
Lyn Cote – Her Patchwork Family (Steeple Hill)
Laurie Alice Eakes – The Glassblower (Heartsong Presents)
Laurie Kingery – The Outlaw’s Lady (Steeple Hill)
Lynette Sowell – All That Glitters (Heartsong Presents)
Dan Walsh – The Unfinished Gift (Revell)

Speculative (includes Science Fiction, Fantasy, Allegory)

Kirk Outerbridge – Eternity Falls (Marcher Lord Press)
Donita K. Paul – The Vanishing Sculptor (Waterbrook Press)
Steve Rzasa – The Word Reclaimed (Marcher Lord Press)
Stuart Vaughn Stockton – Starfire (Marcher Lord Press)
Fred Warren – The Muse (Splashdown Books)
Jill Williamson – By Darkness Hid (Marcher Lord Press)

Suspense/Thriller

Terri Blackstock – Intervention (Zondervan)
Colleen Coble – Lonestar Secrets (Thomas Nelson)
Brandilyn Collins – Exposure (Zondervan)
Harry Kraus – Salty Like Blood (Howard/Simon & Schuster)
DiAnn Mills – Breach of Trust (Tyndale House)

Women’s Fiction
Julie Carobini – Sweet Waters (B&H Publishing)
Kathryn Cushman – Leaving Yesterday (Bethany House)
Sara Evans & Rachel Hauck – Sweet By and By (Thomas Nelson)
Rene Gutteridge & Cheryl McKay – Never the Bride (Waterbrook Press)
Deborah Raney – Yesterday’s Embers (Howard/Simon & Schuster)
Deborah Raney – Above All Things (Steeple Hill)
Lisa Wingate – The Summer Kitchen (New American Library/Penguin)

Young Adult
Shelley Adina – Who Made You a Princess? (Hachette FaithWords)
Brandilyn & Amberly Collins – Always Watching (Zondervan)
Jenny B. Jones – I’m So Sure (Thomas Nelson)
Jenny B. Jones – So Not Happening (Thomas Nelson)
Booker T. Mattison – Unsigned Hype (Revell)

Congratulations to all finalists and their/our publishing teams!! The winners will be announced at the annual conference in September. And even if we don’t win, I always walk away with good dessert.

And now for some random tidbits I’ve been collecting to share with you like we’re next door neighbors.

I loved this post by mega author Tamora Pierce about girl protagonists.

Scott Patterson (Luke Danes! Luke Danes!) says a Gilmore Girls movie will “probably happen.”  You know what else would probably happen? My joy and happiness.

I love Lady Antebellum and I love spoofs. So Lady A+spoof? Perfect! (Warning: If you don’t listen to country music, this probably won’t mean diddley to you.)

Have you ever noticed there are a few things on Amazon that are there just for the sake of someone writing some killer reviews? Or for my entertainment? Like THIS for example.

This is old news by now, but has anyone else been watching this repeatedly?

I love that smash-up, and I’m not even totally sure why.  SNL, take note because that was awesome. And original.  “No corsets, no hat pins, and no crying.” That belongs on a t-shirt.

Fab author Natalie Lloyd and I have discussed how we both love Tyler Perry’s latest note to his fans.

Thank you to TeenReadsToo for this review on So Over My Head.

Lesson Learned: As I do every summer (and various other days that end in Y), I’ve been painting. While I’ve painted random some rooms in my house repeatedly (like my kitchen 2x in one week), my living room and main part of the house hasn’t been painted in about 9 years. So it was time. I branched out and went with a trendy light gray. It might be a bit much, so stay tuned for Summer Paint Job Part II. Anyway, I was telling a friend how I was on day 5 of paint in my hair, even though I had washed it 100 times.

Me: I don’t know how I always get paint in my hair. It’s not like I headbutt the wall. Well, okay, I do sometimes, but not this week.
Lizann: Have you tried a doo-rag?
Me: Oh.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in analyzing “why,” I forget to simplify and just think of a solution instead.
I also don’t always learn from my mistakes because right after this conversation, I went home and was just going to “touch some things up” really quick like. Thirty minutes later I had a halo of white paint in my hair. But in my defense, it’s a small house. Due to heat, no windows open for ventilation. And paint fumes kill brain cells.

Come back Wednesday (yes, Wednesday! Summer hours are ovah!) so you can tell me all about the books you’ve been reading, and I’ll share my list too.

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Congrats to Kristin, winner of Stars in the Night. Kristin, just send me your home addy! And by the way, Kristin has a great blog–Miss Vintage Girl. I love her blog design AND Kristin’s sewing and craft projects. Girl is an artist and so creative. AND she has a cool song on her blog right now. She and author Natalie Lloyd have such good taste in music.

I have so much random stuff to say today, but we MUST continue our discussion with the lovely and talented Cara Putman. But stick around because I want to discuss American Idol (Steven Tyler!!!), YouTube, and other random ramdomosities. Be now return to our regularly scheduled interview with one Cara Putman, super attorney, super mom, super friend, and TMA. (Totally amazing author)

J: Cara, thanks for coming back. We usually scare people off after the first initial visit. So let’s get back to the deep, intellectual questions. You’re being cast in a reality show. Which one is it?

C: Amazing Race. I’d have my husband as partner. And he eats all the weird things while I do all the death-defying stunts. : )

J: I could TOTALLY see you on Amazing Race. You would kick tail. Okay, what is your favorite dessert?

C: Dutch apple pie, warm, in a bowl with milk. Yum!

J: You lost me at milk. Did you mean like frozen milk+cream? Like ice cream? Like Blue Bell? Surely pie cannot be eaten without ice cream. (Of course, I think ice cream deserves to be eaten with anything. I just washed down some antibiotics with a little Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.)  You are a very goal-oriented person, just one of the many things I admire about you. What is your goal for the rest of 2010?

C: To give myself time to write proposals. My writing journey has been a sprint so far. Lots of books in a short time frame. And I’m ready to breathe a bit and work with God to develop the proposals that are me – but that people have been waiting to see, too.

J: AND. . .to have a new baby! Cara will welcome baby number four later this year as well.

C: We just found out last Friday that this little one is a boy. He’ll join us in late November or very early December and right now Daniel Reagan is in the lead for name. The kids are thrilled.

J: You’ll be months away from delivering when we go to the ACFW conference in Sept, and you’ll STILL probably work out more than me. So tell us how your own career in law inspired your protagonist in Stars in the Night.

C: Many of my books have an attorney in them. And it was a natural to have Audra a frustrated attorney. She went to law school, but hadn’t been allowed to actually work as an attorney. Not uncommon in the 1940s and 50s.

J: I loved that detail. I liked that Audra was not exactly your typical woman of the 40s. She had a few degrees under her belt and was pursuing a career in law. And I liked how we saw how difficult it was for a woman at that time. Not as difficult as solving a murder and keeping yourself alive, which made Audra’s life sooo stressful! So I’m trying to talk our writers here into going to the American Christian Fiction Writers Conference. Why should they go?

C: ACFW is THE place to be if you are serious about writing Christian fiction. All of the novels I have in print are because of relationships I’ve developed through ACFW. I’ve also learned so much about the craft of writing.

J: What’s next in the works for you?

C: I’m writing book ten in Guideposts next contemporary mystery series; book four releases in September. After that, we’ll see. Time to dream up proposals I’m excited about and pray that God will match me with the publisher who is equally excited about them!

J: Cara, thanks so much for stopping by. I’m excited about your book releasing and definitely counting the days ’til we get to hang out!

C: Thanks so much for having me, Jenny.

Stop by Cara’s website and blog, where she often has contests and book reviews.

********

Okay, American Idol, what the heck is going on? Ellen, gone. Kara, gone. And who’s filling their shoes? Steven Tyler and J-Lo. I am a die-hard Aerosmith fan. Few people who survived the 80s aren’t, and I love one Mr. Steven Tyler, especially when he’s not in rehab and breaking up then making up then breaking up with his bandmates. (Joe Perry you are a dear, patient fellow.) But I think it’s time AI just said adieu. Follow the Friends model and quit while you’re ahead, while it’s still good. (Which meant you should’ve quit 2 years ago.)

Today I went to a local nursing home where my grandmother stays. I’m helping my church start a ministry there, and I’m so excited about it (and intimidated and worried and already blessed).  So this afternoon I had a little meeting there with the social director.  We introduced ourselves, shook hands, and I sat down across from her. The first thing out of my mouth? “I have paint in my hair. So during the course of this meeting if you start wondering what the white goo in my hair is, that’s it.”  It’s reasons like this I never ran for Miss America. I’d never make it past the interview. Among other things. . .

Anyway, so after my meeting I found my grandmother and sat with her during lunch. A couple sat at our table, and I learned they had been married 66 years. Here’s a little snippet of our conversation:
Me: Wow. Sixty-six years. That’s amazing. What’s your secret?
Husband: Ignore each other.
Wife looks at me and nods. “Yep, that’s how we do it.”
Maybe pastors should start working that into marriage vows since it clearly worked for this couple all these years. Do you promise to love, cherish, and ignore your spouse? I do!

Finally, I leave you with this. I was painting my living room editing and writing and listening to the Gospel channel on Pandora. This song came on, and I had to totally stop what I was doing. Listen to this and tell me it doesn’t give you chills. Oh, Whitney when she was Whitney.

Man, girl could SANG.
Come back next Monday when I tell you all about my trip to Savannah and cry on your shoulder over my eventual return to school.  See you then!

3 comments

Hey, guys! I’m back from a week in Savannah and Tybee Island, Georgia. I’m just as tan as ever and ready to get back to blogging. Today we’re welcoming my friend and fellow author, Cara Putman. We’re also giving away a copy of her new historical Christian fiction release, Stars in the Night. AND Cara has a great contest going on of her own that you’ll want to check out as well.  Keep reading for info on both giveaways.

Cara and I met through American Christian Fiction Writers. Cara held a leadership with the organization and was working her tail off at the yearly conference, and I was probably eating M&Ms and slurping Starbucks while on my way to a class. And she lets me hang out with her anyway. I recently got to read Stars in the Night and asked Cara to stop by.

J: So tell us where the idea for Stars in the Night came from. It’s a great concept.

C: I was working on the last book for my second World War II series for a Heartsong Presents and beginning to think about where I might want to set a future series. My husband, who is as big a World War II fan as I am (if not more) and I were brainstorming one night. Since I’d done two series set in the Midwest, I kind of wanted to branch out, and I’ve long had a love of classic movies. As Eric and I were talking, we hit on the idea of Hollywood during WWII.

There were so many different roles that the stars played during the war. Canteens. USO tours. Active service. 4-Fed. The plot options and historical details seemed endless. Then as I researched I stumbled on the original Hollywood Victory Caravan. My imagination kicked into overdrive. What if I created a second Victory Caravan? What if a killer followed someone on to the train? What if people died and you were trapped on the train with a killer? And what if romance blossomed in the midst of the suspense?

Then I got a call from the woman who became my editor at Summerside. She wondered if I might be interested in writing historical romantic suspense for them. And as God works, one of the settings they were interested in was Hollywood. It was perfect timing and a great fit.

J: I loved the historical background in this book. I’d never even heard of the Victory Caravan until I read your book. So tell us what the book is about.

C: Stars in the Night is set in Hollywood in 1942. When attorney Audra Schaeffer’s sister disappears, Audra flies to Hollywood to find her, but instead must identify her body. Determined to bring her killer to justice, Audra takes a job with the second Hollywood Victory Caravan. Together with Robert Garfield and other stars, she crisscrosses the southern United States in a campaign to sell war bonds. When two other women are found dead on the train, Audra knows the deaths are tied to that of her sister. Could the killer be the man with whom she’s falling in love?

J: Isn’t that cover gorgeous? I also love the title. What does it mean to you?

C: It has a combination of meanings to me. The first is pretty obvious: the stars of Hollywood living through a dark moment. But it also symbolizes to me the ways God’s presence and grace shine like stars in our darkest moments.

J: The book was so well researched. Just flawless. What did you learn while researching?

C: So much! I learned that Ford’s Theater was basically abandoned for storage during the war. I learned about how very much the studios controlled their stars’ lives. It was actually common for studios to pair stars or wanna-bes and make them get married–often with disastrous, long-term results. I learned about how very quickly the stars jumped in to help the war effort after Pearl Harbor–and how affected the men were if they were 4-Fed and couldn’t fight. So many details. And so many I didn’t get to use in the book.

J: As an old movie fan, I loved the classic Hollywood setting. My favorite old movie is probably Charade starring Audrey Hepburn. What’s your favorite?

C: My favorite would have to be the Thin Man and the following series, though it’s really hard to narrow it down. I hope to write the sequel which will be Victoria’s story and take place on the set of a Thin Man type of movie. But you have to love the rapport between William Powell and Myrna Loy. Priceless!

J: You’re starring in an old movie. What other stars are in it with you?

C: Oh, great question! I would want to star with Jimmy Stewart and Claudette Colbert or Katherine Hepburn.

J: I loved the dialogue of the time period in the book. You did such an awesome job with that. Don’t you wish the world could get back to the days of gee whiz and Jumping Jehoshaphat? What was your favorite period detail in the book?

C: Hmmm, throwing in some of the lingo. But also the glamour. Who doesn’t have a secret wish they could have starred on the silver screen during it’s hey-day? The idea of slipping onto the stage during a USO type show in a gorgeous Carol Lombard or Ginger Rogers style dress? Divine!

J: Do you have a favorite scene you could tell us about?

My favorite scene is probably one that a friend suggested I add. It’s an intimate and touching scene between Audra and Robert when the sun rises while they are on the train during the fictional second Hollywood Victory Caravan (the first one was real!).  Audra realizes it’s the dawning of the day her sister will be buried and she couldn’t make herself go home. Robert comforts her and God touches her. I love it!

J: What is the last book you read?

C: I’m currently reading Bishop by Stephen James. Gripping already. And the book before that was Back on Murder by Mark Bertrand. Brilliant detective story.

J: Favorite story in the Bible?

C : Esther. Did you expect me to say anything else? The idea of the girl who becomes queen, but the story doesn’t end there. That’s really only the beginning. She gets to choose whether or not to let God work through her–and as Mordecai so aptly tells her–if she refuses, help will come from another avenue.

J: What’s the book you wish you had written?

C: Gosh, Jenny, these aren’t easy questions. In all honesty, I wish I could write like you did in Just Between Me and You. Your ability to have me in stitches and then have me sobbing are amazing. Can’t wait for your next adult novel.

J: (Note to readers: I did not pay Cara Putman cash to say that. I might’ve set up an off-shore account for her in Switzerland, but no American dollars were involved.)  And thank you, Cara. That’s really sweet. And I can add “full of it” to the things I know about you now.

Okay, come back this Friday for part two of my interview with the fabulous Cara Putman. In the meantime, you can check out her website where you’ll find details about her AWESOME classic Hollywood giveaway. Check it out HERE.

Also I’m giving away a copy of Stars in the Night. To be in the running, just leave a comment to this post and answer the question: You’re starring in an old movie. Which one and what character are you? (Note to those who have not gotten right with the Lord Jesus Christ and do not watch old movies, you may pick one from 1985 and earlier. Nothing newer than ‘85.)  You have until Thursday night, 8 pm, cst. Contest only open to US residents. (Sorry international friends!) Winner announced on Friday’s blog.

Let’s hear your answers!

38 comments

I have been hanging on for weeks until I could tell you about my friend Cara Putman’s book, Stars in the Night. First of all, there could be nothing written inside the book besides THE END, and I’d still buy it for the cover art alone. Without a doubt, this is my pick as best book cover for 2010. I mean, check this out.

Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so classic Hollywood. (If anyone cares, my cover pick for ‘09 (besides my own) is this one. Runner up for 2010? Right here.)

Cara is giving away an AWESOME prize on her website as she launches her new release, so make sure you check out the details at the end of this blog. Anyway, I got a sneak preview of Stars in the Night and was so excited to finally get it in my hands. I met Cara a handful of years ago at the ACFW conference, and she was one of those people who I thought, “We could totally be friends.” I think everyone feels that way around Cara. She’s that kind and friendly and smart and pretty and talented and energetic and enthusiastic and fabulous.

We’re gonna talk to Cara more next Monday AND give away a copy of Stars in the Night, so you definitely want to come back for that. But in the meantime, I wanted to share my review of the book and give you a sample of the first chapter.

Here is exactly what I told Amazon: Stars in the Night has it all–suspense, mystery, intrigue, romance, and a time period created so accurately you swear you’re right there. Cara Putman has done an amazing job taking the reader back to the golden days of Hollywood. This enjoyable read will make you long for simpler times AND Hollywood glam. If you love a mystery, and if you love classic movies by greats such as Rogers, Loy, Gable, Grant, Hepburn, Stewart, you will ADORE this book. It was like sitting down with my favorite black and white movie on TNT. I loved how the time period details sucked me right in. And Putman is a master at the red herring. I was left wondering “who done it” til the very end. Stars in the Night is, by far, my favorite book cover of 2010, and one of my favorite Christian fiction reads for the year as well.

Here’s some more info, including the first chapter.

This week, the

Christian Fiction Blog Alliance

is introducing

Stars In The NightSummerside Press (July 1, 2010)

byCara Putman
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

A Word From Cara:

I graduated from high school at sixteen, college at 20, and completed my law degree when I was 27.

My writing journey started in 2005 when I decided to write my first novel. Now I have eleven books published with more on the way.

People say I’ve accomplished a lot and that I must have life by the proverbial tail. Hardly! I grew up as a home schooled kid when home schoolers were misunderstood and oddities.

I struggle with balancing my writing and law career, plus being a good mom and wife.

I often fear people won’t like my books.

I’ve walked through the deep pain of miscarriage.

Really, I’m just like you – I don’t have it all together and have gone through tough times. But in His strength, I’ve discovered a strength I never knew I had. A strength I want you to discover, too.

In the end I’m just an ordinary mom who has seen God do some wonderful things as I’ve been obedient to step into the calling He’s led me into.

 

Stars in the Night was an idea that had begun to percolate in my mind. I’d written two World War II series and was actively looking for my next setting. My husband, a huge World War II history buff, and I were kicking ideas around, and I’d decided Hollywood was probably the next place for me. I’d gone to the library and gotten a stack of research books when I got the call. An editor I knew but had never worked with wanted to know if I might be interested in a new line they were starting. As we talked, I got so excited. And then she emailed me their guidelines, which listed that Hollywood was a location they were interested in setting books.

Only God could have known ahead of time. But because I followed His prompting I was ready to run with an idea. Stars in the Night is the result.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Hollywood 1942. When attorney Audra Schaeffer’s sister disappears, Audra flies to Hollywood to find her.

Any day Audra might have been flattered by the friendly overtures of Robert Garfield, a real-life movie star. But on the flight from Indianapolis to Hollywood, Audra can think of little else than finding her missing sister. When Audra arrives in the city of glitz and glamour, and stars, and learns her rising starlet sister has been murdered, all thoughts of romance fly away.

Determined to bring the killer to justice, Audra takes a job with the second Hollywood Victory Caravan.

Together with Robert Garfield and other stars, she crisscrosses the southern United States in a campaign to sell war bonds. When two other women are found dead on the train, Audra knows the deaths are tied to that of her sister.

Could the killer be the man with whom she’s falling in love?

If you’d like to read an excerpt of Chapter 1 of Stars In The Night, go HERE.

Contest: Lots of opportunities to win and great prizes, and the grand prize contains some of Cara’s favorite classic movies as well as all of her WWII novels: Launch Contest!

Guys, it’s taking all my will power (we know how strong that is…) not to enter this contest myself. I mean did you see all those old movies? Awesome.

See you next Monday for a fun interview and giveaway with Cara.

JEN

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Congrats to Ken, winner of Cindy Matinusen Coloma’s Caleb+Kate. Ken, you’re gonna love it! (Just send your addy to jen at jennybjones dot com)

And good job those of you who signed up for the newsletter (which went out last Wednesday) and are sharing your prize-seeking answers. I’m loving reading about your summer plans. If you haven’t signed up the newsletter where I give away stuff and share insider info, join now! You can sign up on the right on this page or on the Contact Me page. In this last newsletter I gave the answer to the questions, “Will there be a fourth Katie Parker book?” and “Will there be a fourth Bella Kirkwood book?” Not one second after sending the answer out, I get an email asking me the SAME thing. I’ve had four emails just like it since Wednesday. So join the club and get in the know for next time!

So. . .Mel Gibson. . . . That’s all I want to say about that.

I don’t enjoy the smell of Old Spice, but I do love most of the commercials. Old Spice and the Old Spice Guy (”I’m on a horse.”) got really clever last week and responded to a bunch of actual Old Spice tweets  via YouTube. This is one of my favorites.

And this one.

“Stop throwing pigeons.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to say that.

One of my oldest and dearest friends (emphasis on the OLD. As in OLDER than I) (Older than I just sounds stupid) just had a baby, sweet little Zenna Kate. This woman can take care of a newborn AND find the time to be funny. Check out her last email, and you’ll see why we’re friends.

My daughter needs a paci valet… someone who will simply stand nearby and put her paci back in her mouth when she shrieks because it
has fallen out. And if she would just take a nap I could jump in the shower for a couple minutes… I have something in my hair. I
think it’s spit up. I could probably ignore it, but I have a doctor’s appt today. I don’t want to be the girl with spit up in her hair.

So what is Lilo trying to accomplish? There is NO way she is getting out of this jail sentence.. and she is going through lawyers Iike
Zenna goes through diapers! My big concern is that last night she was spotted with Sam Ronson… and we both know THAT can’t be good. I
think they need to send that girl to an industrial strength rehab…
and maybe THEN to jail…
hey did you know that my daughter has the same bday as Prince William?

I did not know her daughter’s birthday was the same As P-Dubs. That’s almost as cool as having a birthday on Prince Harry’s birthday.

So last summer I got bit by a spider and got poison ivy pretty much all on the same day while picking blackberries and trying to do good in the name of homemade cobbler. I spent a few months (MONTHS) having the skin plague as I had some sort of weirdo allergic reaction to everything going on. The bright side is, it made for a super cool show-n-tell project, and I was a hit at dinner parties. At least for a few minutes. After everyone felt burdened to tell me their spider bite, MRSA, staph horror stories, I finally broke down and went to the dr. Except I didn’t see a dr, but a dr. replacement who took one look at the infestation and said, “Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you want a shot in the butt?” Um, there are few reasons I’ll get a shot in the butt, and “I don’t know,” isn’t one of them.  I walked away with my eyes rolling out of my head and my butt saying, “Thank you.”

Fast forward to this summer. On Monday something bit me. Given the fact that I live in a woodsy area, just perfect for the hiding of pervs and arachnids, I see a lot (A LOT) of spiders. I’m kind of to the point where I only kill about half of them. It’s just a losing battle. The one I should’ve killed bit me, and now I have this wacky bite that looks odd and radiates heat like a Pepperoni Hot Pocket. So after about 5 days of it (and more scary stories and pictures sent my way), I break down and go to the doctor. (In hindsight, I guess if I didn’t want to hear gruesome stories from others, I probably shouldn’t have lifted up my shorts leg and said,  “Hey, wanna see this?” at every opportunity. Next time I’m only going to keep my skin plague manifestations to myself. And 75 of my closest friends.)

I had much better luck with this dr. visit. And even though the nurse’s first words were, “Ughh,” I had an enjoyable experience. The doctor seemed to know what he was doing (meaning he didn’t use the word “shot”) and we had a nice chat about spiders and the number you supposedly consume through your mouth over the course of your sleeping lifetime. (I bet I consume more!) Anyway, he prescribes stupid antibiotics (I’m not a fan. Can’t everything be healed with iced tea and Mike and Ike’s?) and he’s like, “This has_____ ingredient in it. Are you allergic to anything?” And I’m like, “Nope! Just bugs and blackberry cobbler!”

One hour later I look like I have a freakish sunburn and I’m about to crawl out of my itchy skin. And do you know whose fault this is?
My mom’s.
SHE’S the one who is allergic to stuff in antibiotics. NOT ME! But somehow it’s finally rubbed off on me after all these years, just like her shoe obsession and fire cracker neurosis.

Okay, stop on back later in the week as I introduce one fabulous lady and her fabulous book. That lady would be super author Cara Putman, an individual who has never sent me oozing WebMD photos labeled “pre-amputation.”

Have a great day!

JEN

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