Random Acts of Baldness
Here it is, ten thirty in the morning, and I'm blogging, eating leftover Thai food, swigging ice tea by the gallon, and have Chrissy Tomlin cranked to the highest. In other words, I'm in full-0n procrastination mode.
I've had major deadlines lately, so no time to blog. No time to breathe.
But yet, SOOO much has happened in our world in the last few weeks.
To back up, what about the NASA astronauts' love triangle? NASA, I really think this is what happens when your people spend years breathing through through their mouths, have 24/7 bad hair, and have to wear moon boots. (Everyone knows moon boots went out in the Eighties. So slaves to love? No, NASA, slaves to fashion.) I understand wearing Depends is just another day in space. But people, this girl was not IN space. So I cannot IMAGINE slipping on the giant elastic panty because it somehow made sense to you. Here's a tip, Miss M.I.T.–leave early so you can take pee breaks and fit in a few breakfast burritos and E-Z Mart mochas.
And then there was this fiasco.
\Brit, Brit, Brit. Sighhh.
Poor girl. You know she woke up that day, was hit with the realization, “Oh, my gawsh, y'all. K-Fed IS a better parent!” and just lost it. BUT is shaving her head a sign of craziness? NO! Come on! This is the smartest thing Brit has EVER done! Ladies, get honest. How many times have you said, “Oh, I wish I could just shave my head!” We ALL have. Brit just decided to quit talking about it and do it. Of course, it's just an added bonus that there is nothing left on her head to do a drug strand test, but I'm sure that never entered her mind.
AND I hear they are blaming her downward spiral on postpartum depression. I know that is real and painful, but that gets blamed for a LOT these days, such as random acts of baldness all the way to murder. I've tried to use the excuse a few times, but people don't understand and say mean things to me like, “You don't even have children. Kind of a requirement to postpartum.” SO RUDE! No, but I'm a cat parent, and it's about time I got some respect for that. Unless you've been there, you don't even know. It's “meow” this and “meow” that ALL day long. And every three days I'm expected to feed them.
Finally, we had the nation mourning the loss of the Playboy Playmate of the Year, 1993. (Yeah, I had to google to make sure I had the date right. EW–the stuff that came up. EWWWW!!!)
So, yeah, very sad. A short life of chaos and turmoil and someone who just never found her peace. BUT…I am SOOO sick of hearing about it. Can't we move on? Personally, I think we are just extremely luck the Al Qaeda didn't catch wind of all this. Because it would've been an opportune time to do some USA damage.
“Those people are on their third week of Anna Nicole mourning, let's attack.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I talked to Larry King, and he said everyone at CNN is gonna be in the Bahamas for another two weeks, so we might as well go.”
“Mr. Bin Laden, could we…um…”
“Mr. Bin Laden, Mr. Imminence of Evil, before we destroy the free world, could we swing by her Bahamian mansion and take pictures first?”
I can see it now. But the Al Qaeda missed the boat. Our good fortune. But I will be glad for Mark Steines to get out of the Bahamas, leave Howard K. Stern alone, and get back to reporting the real news. Like who Jennifer Aniston's new mystery boyfriend is. Or what crazy name Brad and Angie will come up with for their new adoptee.
I must get back to work. BTW, I got a new blog design! Blue Bird Blogs did a great job!
And as for the release date of In Between, it will be out the week of April 15. YAY! It's been a long year of waiting, but the day is getting closer!
Also check out my updated web page. There's a spot to join my newsletter. That way you can stay updated on…um…whatever it is I come up with to update you on. Anna, Virgie, Dannilynn, and Howard updates? Actually it will soon be a great way to win copies of In Between. Or maybe I'll just do mass emailings of my cats….
I like your snazzy (is that how you spell that?) layout. 🙂