Oh, The Things We Find at Wal-Mart

Here’s a tip. Don’t buy the Stouffer’s Corner Bistro smoked turkey club panini. I don’t really like those frozen things—they gross me out. But I thought—smoked turkey. How can you mess that up? Well, they did. I bit into it and thought, “That’s funny. This tastes like beef jerky.” But I had to be wrong. Turkey CANNOT taste like beef jerky. Bites two, three, and four confirmed that it indeed, did taste like dehydrated cow meat.

Speaking of beef jerky (which is always a delightful topic of conversation), Wal-Mart has these 100 calorie packs—of beef jerky. Okay, if you’re the type of person who eats that on a regular basis, you probably don’t give a flip how many calories are in it. Just a theory. And who exactly is the target market here? Can you imagine some guy packing it for a camping or hunting trip?
“What’cha got there Bubba?”
“Jerky. 100 calorie jerky. I’m watching my figure.”
“Your sissy jerky insults me! Get off my tree stand!”

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but in case you missed it or blocked it from memory, I like the occasional romance novel. Not the smutty gross ones. (No, really.) But there are a few authors who can truly mix romance, plot, and humor. Julia Quinn is one of those authors. So today I bought The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever. And yes, I know. I have a deadline. Thanks for the reminder. Anyway, I promise the ones I read really have a plot. (Though it STILL embarrasses me and my sister-in-law when my 35 year old brother picks one up and proceeds to read it aloud. Because it’s ALWAYS at a point that is…um….plotless. He’s been doing that since I was in the fifth grade reading Danielle Steele.) And usually leading men have strong, regal (read: hot) names like Chance, the Duke of Bradford, Drake, etc. What is the leading male’s name in this book? Nigel. Call me superficial, but this book has a strike against it already. WHO names the hot love interest NIGEL? Nigel is the name of a butler. Or the mysteriously feminine male cousin. NOT the name of the man our heroine is supposed to love forever despite all odds, mishaps, and evil twin sisters!

Speaking of names, I have a name dilemma myself. I have a character who was supposed to be minor, but yet…now he's not. At first his name was Ryan (when he was just a blip in the book). Now he’s Tate. But I don’t know. Something about a one syllable name for a significant person in the book doesn’t appeal to me. (Though you have to admit, Tate is a cute name.) He’s seventeen and blond. Any suggestions? Other names I’m considering: Hayden, Dawson (too Katie Holmes though?), Spencer, and Riley. What do you think? Also if there are any teen girls in your vicinity, ask them which names resonates with them more.

If I don’t get an answer, I may have to go with…Nigel. Or Rupert. Or Otto.