Oh, The Things We Find at Wal-Mart

Here’s a tip. Don’t buy the Stouffer’s Corner Bistro smoked turkey club panini. I don’t really like those frozen things—they gross me out. But I thought—smoked turkey. How can you mess that up? Well, they did. I bit into it and thought, “That’s funny. This tastes like beef jerky.” But I had to be wrong. Turkey CANNOT taste like beef jerky. Bites two, three, and four confirmed that it indeed, did taste like dehydrated cow meat.

Speaking of beef jerky (which is always a delightful topic of conversation), Wal-Mart has these 100 calorie packs—of beef jerky. Okay, if you’re the type of person who eats that on a regular basis, you probably don’t give a flip how many calories are in it. Just a theory. And who exactly is the target market here? Can you imagine some guy packing it for a camping or hunting trip?
“What’cha got there Bubba?”
“Jerky. 100 calorie jerky. I’m watching my figure.”
“Your sissy jerky insults me! Get off my tree stand!”

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but in case you missed it or blocked it from memory, I like the occasional romance novel. Not the smutty gross ones. (No, really.) But there are a few authors who can truly mix romance, plot, and humor. Julia Quinn is one of those authors. So today I bought The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever. And yes, I know. I have a deadline. Thanks for the reminder. Anyway, I promise the ones I read really have a plot. (Though it STILL embarrasses me and my sister-in-law when my 35 year old brother picks one up and proceeds to read it aloud. Because it’s ALWAYS at a point that is…um….plotless. He’s been doing that since I was in the fifth grade reading Danielle Steele.) And usually leading men have strong, regal (read: hot) names like Chance, the Duke of Bradford, Drake, etc. What is the leading male’s name in this book? Nigel. Call me superficial, but this book has a strike against it already. WHO names the hot love interest NIGEL? Nigel is the name of a butler. Or the mysteriously feminine male cousin. NOT the name of the man our heroine is supposed to love forever despite all odds, mishaps, and evil twin sisters!

Speaking of names, I have a name dilemma myself. I have a character who was supposed to be minor, but yet…now he's not. At first his name was Ryan (when he was just a blip in the book). Now he’s Tate. But I don’t know. Something about a one syllable name for a significant person in the book doesn’t appeal to me. (Though you have to admit, Tate is a cute name.) He’s seventeen and blond. Any suggestions? Other names I’m considering: Hayden, Dawson (too Katie Holmes though?), Spencer, and Riley. What do you think? Also if there are any teen girls in your vicinity, ask them which names resonates with them more.

If I don’t get an answer, I may have to go with…Nigel. Or Rupert. Or Otto.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 12 comments
jewels - July 6, 2007

-your are so funny and so right i agree on the beef jerky stuff!
also microwaveable meat is right up there with canned meat to me!
-michael will always find a way to embarress us whether it is on purpose or not
– i like the name tate it’s diffrent

but, i love you and i loved the book i’m def. proud

all the fam in tulsa has been asking to read it since they found out i had a copy of it!

Brad Morgan - July 6, 2007

call him Brad…the end

Jenny B. Jones - July 6, 2007

Brad? BAH! What kind of dork would be named…Oh. Nevermind. Yeah, it’s a great name.

Anyway, hey, Julie! Thanks for passing the book around to your Tulsa family! I drove through there earlier this week.

Salle - July 6, 2007

What the heck did he say? haha….Anyway, been thinking of names….Hunter, Zack, Colt, Abbott, Ace, Aden, Houston :), Taylor, Carter, K.C., Klint….OR I like the ones you have chosen…..Just some more suggestions in case you got stuck!

Erin Valentine - July 6, 2007

Well, I thought of Landon, but when I looked up the meaning, it was listed as “From the long hill.”

What a silly name.

Then I found some unique names online. First is the name, and the then goofy celebrity that named his or her child that way:

Pirate/Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn’s son
Apple/Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter
Coco/Courtney Cox’s daughter
Tu Morrow/Rob Morrow’s daughter
Denim & Diesel/Toni Braxton’s sons
Reign Beau/ Ving Rhames’s daughter
Puma/Erykah Badu’s daughter
Cash/Slash, lead guitarist of Guns & Roses, son
Hopper Jack/Sean Penn’s son
Story/Dream Ginuwine, r&b artist, daughter
Pilot Inspektor/actor Jason Lee’s son
Moxie CrimeFighter/Penn of Penn & Teller’s daughter
True Isabella Summer/Forest Whitaker’s daughter

I vote for Diesel.

erin valentine - July 6, 2007

Found some more! These are from a site of Victorian era names. I’m only kidding on one, but you have to guess which one!


Christa - July 7, 2007





Jenny B. Jones - July 7, 2007

Good suggestions, Christa. I especially like Conner.

Erin, I hope you were kidding on at least TWO of the names because Aloysius and Clovis are HIDEOUS! Clovis sounds like something from an anatomy book. And Aloysius sounds like something caught in your throat. But Diesel is a cool name. If you’re named Diesel though, you HAVE to have biceps and a Harley.

Sal, I like Carter, too. And Houston–hmmm. Wouldn’t that name sound cute on a nephew? ; )

sheilasue - July 8, 2007

Are you on crack?!!?!?!!!!
If he is blonde (ish) and 17 his name is Erick. Duh. Or you could be ironic and go with Lukas. 🙂

Jenny B. Jones - July 8, 2007

Sheila–I have no words for your comment. It is a blog violation to bring up high school stuff! Don’t make me haul out names for YOU…

Oh, I know–I could call this blond boy Jimmy…Need I go on?

jewels - July 9, 2007

well you should have called me if you were in town!

Anonymous - July 9, 2007

I like Riley 🙂 hahaha


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