Jen Takes On Dallas

First of all, don't forget to leave a comment on Monday's entry to get your name in the running for Camy Tang's Sushi For One? You do not want to miss it.

So last week I went to Dallas for a writer's conference–the annual American Christian Fiction Writers conference. I went to this event two years ago, armed with a whopping 25 pages of a novel. A favorite author of mine critiqued it, contacted a publisher about it, and the rest is In Between history. So I'm kind of partial to ACFW (and that author). If you have ANY interest in writing, check it out. Next year our meeting is in Minneapolis. That might be the year that I have to skip some of the sessions and do some intense research for the next book. Research on shopping–bring on Mall of America!!

A highlight of my trip was meeting my totally fabulous agent, Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary. How do you know if you have the coolest agent in the world? If he's willing to show some knee, that's how.

I should've Photoshopped myself a tan, but oh, well.

So here are some random events and occurrences from my trip.
1. Bought a cute new “trapeze-style” jacket for the event. Wore it for the first time, only to discover it smelled like that nasty raw silk (even though it was wool. weird). I ran back to the room and hosed myself down with Febreeze (that's something everyone should try at least once). Worked for about 15 minutes. Every time I'd meet someone that day, I'd just want to blurt, “Hi, my name is Jennifer, and yes, it's MY jacket you smell.”

2. Took a class in which you had to deconstruct your work, looking for six or seven various things, identifying each with a different color of marker. Can I just say this was an A.D.D. NIGHTMARE!!!! I got so lost, I ended up just coloring a pretty picture instead.

3. When I met Chip for the first time, we might've discussed some revolutionary new career directions, there might've been some movie offers, some million dollar deals bandied about. I don't remember. News of this great moment, which he told me about, is all I remember. Watch the first minute.

I think I once dated the guy on the right.

4. You know those annoying people who look toward the door every time it opens during a meeting? I discovered I'm one of them. Shamelessly. When that door creaks, I MUST know what the person coming in looks like. It's like a game.

5. When I get in an airport, it's like I think we're in this parallel universe where calories mean nothing. Like within this capsule of a building, you can eat anything you want while catching up on the latest with Brit and Linds. By 11 a.m. Sunday morning I'd had half a Starbucks sandwich, a Taco Bell Bean Burrito, Auntie Anne's cinnamon sticks, a fruit and yogurt parfait, Diet Pepsi, and two waters. It's like I was in a race to consume my week's worth of calories in the hour before I went home. But the Starbucks sandwich doesn't count because it was gross. They should totally stick to coffee.

6. Ate at a restaurant called the Time Machine. For some random reason (at least I couldn't figure out why), the wait staff all dresses up like characters. Our waiter was a pirate.

Sadly, I can't remember his pirate name. And he didn't talk pirate talk, but spoke in a fake British accent. I felt a little cheated out of some good pirate talk, you know? Had the manager stopped by, I totally would've discussed the low level of authenticity in our waiter. His disregard for the sacred pirate vernacular should not be tolerated. Just one booty reference…is that really too much to ask?

Anyway, I will see your booties back here in a few days!

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 6 comments
Timothy Fish - September 26, 2007

About number 4. Personally, I think we should put an ammendment in the Constitution that makes it a requirement that whenever someone comes in late the whole room is required to turn and stare at the person. At the very least the person who is late should be required to explain his reason for being tardy. What good is it knowing who it is if you don’t also know why they are late. The down side of that is that if this person was using up a roll of toilet paper in the restroom then we might not want to know about it.

C.J. Darlington - September 28, 2007

I’ve had one of those Starbucks sandwiches, too. And I couldn’t finish it. Though my Mom swears by the egg salad sandwiches. Haven’t tried those.

Thanks for the update on the conference!

Jenny B. Jones - September 29, 2007

I always want to know WHY someone was late. I stare at them–just in case they send me a telepathic message with their explanation.

And I would be scared to eat eggs from Starbucks. Say no to Starbucks chicken and eggs! (But yes to mocha frapps!)

Anonymous - September 30, 2007

Okay if we are going to desecrate the Constitution with yet another amendment, it should have nothing to do with people walking through doors, but rather that it should be a crime punishable by death to dress like a pirate without talking like one! You were totally robbed! I would have demanded he at least say “argh!” or “matey” or something about a poop deck. But not “savvy” because he’s no Johnny Depp.

sheilasue - September 30, 2007

OMG you’re so right. Chip DOES look like Brad Pitt!

Edge - October 1, 2007

More sarcastic yet witty people! (NO, that was not shameless flattery, because I rarely flatter myself. Wait, did I say that right?)

I always felt bad for the people walking in late because it’s embarassing when I walk in late. So I try not to. Try is the operative word…


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