Happy Columbus Day!

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. Also hope it was restful because we have a big day of celebrating to do. It is Columbus Day. Here are the reasons I am grateful for Christopher Columbus:

A. The date of your voyage is the only historical date I’ve ever been able to remember. Whenever I’m feeling blue about the fact that I can’t recall the end of the Civil War or when the Magna Carta was signed, I just recite, “In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue…”

B. You were into trading. I believe this might have led to what we Americans now call eBay. And for that, I thank you kind sir.

C. You, like most men, do not understand the finer points of gifting. Did you know when Columbus returned from discovering San Salvador he gave the Queen gold and masks and pearls and parrots? Pearls and parrots? I can hear the queen: “I only want the gifts that won’t poop on my shoulder.”

Yes, so find your own little way to celebrate the man, the myth, the parrot giver, Christopher Columbus.

Speaking of boys of discovery, here’s what Mr. Kitty (the one previously on anti-depressants) found in my house throughout the summer. A tiny snake.

Look how proud he is. He's like, “You want somma this?”

This particular snake was found in my bedroom a few weeks ago. Kinda creeped me out. Rock snakes they are apparently called. I’ve gotten used to them (until this one slithered into my boudoir). They are about the size of a skinny worm and are supposed to be harmless (and if you know differently, just keep it to yourself). I have had about 20+ of them in my house over the last three years. Not sure how they get in, but they never make it back out. And it’s reasons like this that Psycho Kitty gets to stay around a little longer.

This was posted on a writer’s loop with the note, “Isn’t this cool?”
No. It’s not. It scares the crap out of me. Do you see how often people are getting cancer? Do you see how often people are dying? Do you see how the seconds are just flying by? How could you think this was cool? SOMEBODY STOP IT!!!!! I don’t want to see the numbers for Tropical Cluster Diseases. I could be one of them! What if these snakes are carriers? And the Earth’s temperature? What if it’s too high? Is there an alarm somewhere that will alert us to this? And I don’t know what Dengue is, but I don’t want to get it! And look at the bottom—“Created by Poodwaddle.” You put up scary, terrifying, factual statistics and expect us to take you seriously with a company name like Poodwaddle? It sounds like a disease affecting small terriers.

I wonder if they included Psycho Kitty when counting Psychiatric Diseases.
Have a great week. I hope it’s leprosy-free. May none of us make the World Clock boards.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 3 comments
Timothy Fish - October 8, 2007

Not to take away from Columbus, with his pooping birds and his Jonah tendencies, but I remember the start of the revolutionary war in a similar way to how you remember his voyage. I just start reciting Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem about the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, “…on the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five….” It seems like he may have been a day off, and Paul Revere wasn’t the only rider, so maybe the poem is about the dress rehearsal for the Revolutionary War, but it still helps me remember the date.

sheilasue - October 10, 2007

Mr Kitty is so BRAVE! You should reward him, just not with a snake!
And I am totally with you… the ONLY historical date I ever remember is the one that rhymes with BLUE. Too bad I can’t make your birthday rhyme with some color. Sorry about that. I’ll make it up to you by getting you a subscription to some celebrity gossip magazine! I’m brilliant!!

Bethany - May 25, 2008

The Columbus rhyme never helped me in school. I always remembered the “14” and the “2,” but who the heck knows what goes in the tens spot? 80? 70? There’s no telling.


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