Save the T-Shirt
I am so ready for the weekend. Actually I'm taking a little vay-kay to see all the cool people at Thomas Nelson, and I am road tripping it. And today when I walked into Walgreens, guess what I found? Valentine's Day M&Ms (big bags!) for seventy-five cents!!!! I stopped myself after three bags because I knew if I got them all, I would one of those people on TV they do an intervention for, and they have the camera in the house as they use a crane to lift the person out of her bedroom as Richard Simmons cheers her on in his sparkly tank top and scary shorts. But still…road snacks!!!
You can tell I'm a total fan of my publisher because if I worked for anyone else, I wouldn't travel this weekend. I mean Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail comes out this Friday. “I'll go to church when there's a smoking section!”Â “I shot Tupac!”Â Is it scary to relate to an extra large man in drag with comfy shoes and stuffed gazoongas?
Speaking of boobs, my friend and fellow snow zealot Holly and I are getting a team together for the Race for the Cure. We're trying to come up with a really cute t-shirt because last year mine was really tame (I didn't pick it), and we saw alll these cool ones. So we're looking for slogans. So far I've come up with:
(PG-13 version) Boob Warrior: Don't Make Me Pull Out My Weapons.
Healthy Boobs: It's the New Black
It Takes a Village to Save a Boob
Raising a Stink for Pink
Then Holly's come up with :
Save Second Base
Touch Your TaTa's
Save the Girls
We're struggling. And obviously we are not looking for eloquence or class. But it's par for the course at the Komen, and that's why I LOVE it!!! Please leave me an idea if you have one. Boob t-shirts are the BEST!!!
So yeah, gonna be gone a few days. Which means I have to pack. Which means I'm miserable already. I say this every time I go somewhere, but WHY can't I just pay someone to pack for me? Remember how your mom used to dress you in kindergarten and you hated it? Well, now it's not such a bad idea. I just need to find someone with some halfway decent taste who will let me write them a check, and they'll pick out my clothes, pack my suitcase, and have me ready to roll out the next day. Instead I'll be doing laundry at 2 am, crying at 3, cursing the world at 4, and back up at six. And I'll STILL have forgotten my underwear.
There is just something about packing that messes with my head. I think it's because packing requires a lot of concentration, and it's really 100 jobs rolled into one. And I'm a one track mind type of girl. I can only do one job. Not 100. So when I'm packing I'll find myself in a room looking for a shirt, and I'll think, “Wasn't I packing toiletries three seconds ago? What happened to that job?” And then I'll go back to putting tooth paste in a bag, and next thing you know the kitchen calls my name, and I decide to organize my snacks. And then halfway into snack packing, I'll decide I need a belt and run to Wal-Mart where I end up getting cotton balls, People, and Junior Mints, but NO BELT. And FINALLY I just collapse into bed in the wee hours of the morning because if I have to untangle ONE MORE THOUGHT my freakin' head is going to explode. And then I pass out. With my pet asleep in my suitcase. On something black. Which wouldn't be a problem. Except I won't remember my lint roller. And I'll go to my meeting looking like Grizabella from Cats.
I need packing ADD meds. That's all there is to it.
I have a lot going on this week. There's been a lot of details on my end to wrap up for the week. And I'm working on a new fun book that needs to be done at warp speed. Put all that together, and of course I'm not cooking or eating right. Last night I didn't even realize how bad it was until I heard myself tell a friend on the phone what I'd eaten that night. I caught myself say, “I had popcorn and a waffle for dinner.” And then the pitiful reality of that sunk in, and we both laughed about it for like five minutes. Actually she said, “And this is why you're my friend.”Â I don't know if I'm insulted by that or not. I really do have to clean up my diet soon though. It's out of control. I used to be a total health nut. I could look at any food and tell you how many calories were in it. Now I look at any food and think, “How many of those can I fit in my purse?”
Have a great weekend. And if you think of any great Komen lines for a t-shirt, let me know!!!