So Not Happening Giveaway!!
How is it Monday again? We are bracing for a full week of standardized testing at my high school. The classes are going to be so messed up. And people from the state department will be nosing around and dropping by. Because if there's anything my students like better than ME walking around, looking over their shoulder as they test, it's total strangers coming in and staring at them.
So Not Happening is starting to hit mailboxes!!! Not sure if it's on shelves yet, but Deena of “A Peek At My Bookshelf” has posted a great review. You can read it HERE. It's always cool to get kind words about a book–especially when it doesn't come from someone with your same last name.
I'm giving away two copies of the book this week. In So Not Happening, Isabella Kirkwood moves to a new town and new school. Though a teacher doesn't exactly take her under his/her educational wing, she does get stuck in a class where she discovers a hidden talent. To win the grand prize of one pig-covered book, you need to leave a comment and tell me about your favorite teacher. (And note to my students, if you pick me, you are automatically disqualified on the grounds of pathetic suck-uppage. And you'll probably get detention and have to give me your lunch money for the rest of the year. And buy me one of those Yarnell's ice cream things from the cafeteria.) I'll randomly draw theÂ the winners Thursday evening and announce Friday!!!
I had some great teachers in school. My kindergarten teacher was Mrs. Ida Ellis. I LOVED her. She was so good to me. Once I wore these fake pearls to school, and they got broken or something. A few days later she presented me with a replacement necklace (which I'm sure I broke too). She came back for my class's high school graduation. I still think about her and wonder where she is. She was retirement age when I was in kindergarten, so I'm gonna think good thoughts and imagine she's kicked back in a retirement community in Florida.
Then there's Mrs. Hansen. She was my first grade teacher. Her husband worked for Radio Shack (I have no idea why I remember this), and she'd bring all these cool gadgets to class, like a blow up robot. Yes, blow up robots were the only kind you could get back then, and it was pretty cool. And she had Speak-n-Spells. Does anyone remember those? It would give you a word in this really creepy voice, and you'd spell it out on this keypad. I rocked at Speak-n-Spell. I need one of those today–thanks to years of reading hideous student spelling, I can't spell worth spit now. When you read a million and one essays, you start to question every word and lose your magical gift of spelling. I miss it so.
Anyway, Mrs. Hansen would let me do my one-woman puppet shows. I would create the puppets myself with my stunning artwork (read: scary) and then put on these shows. It's a wonder anyone would play with me at recess later. I'm surprised kids didn't chunk their nuggets at me at lunch. It was also in Mrs. Hansen's class during snack time, that I decided drinking milk through a straw was kinda getting boring. So I got this brilliant idea to reroute the milk through my nose. I stuck the straw up my nostrils and just snorted. It was a spectacular failure.
I also liked Mrs. Mitchael, who isÂ now Mrs. Palmer. She was my gifted and talented teacher. Shocking I know–but apparently at one point my brain functioned somewhat. She was a tough teacher and alwaysÂ pushed me. It drove me nuts. She's acknowledged in So Not Happening. Mrs. Palmer was the teacher who really got me to writing. Once in sixth grade I had to do this project, and I wrote my own version of Twilight Zone. It was called “Stop and Smell the Roses…If You Dare.” What originality! What suspense! And I even wrote out a cast list–all people from Dynasty, Three's Company, and Facts of Life. Yes, Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter and Jack Tripper. Greate casting instinct.
There was Mrs. Pat Brashier who told us on the first day of Algebra I we would call her ma'am and never refer to her as Mrs. Brassiere. I was like, “Oh crap. I hadn't even thought of that. Great. Now it'll just pop out of my mouth.” She ran her class like a drill sergeant, made you put your gum on the end of your nose, and just basically scared the snot out of me. Every time she looked at me, I just wanted to blurt out some sin and write out my own detention slip. But I did learn me some math. It wasn't until many years later that I found out her trips to the teacher's lounge during class were smoke breaks. In class!!!! I guess I thought she was in there drinking motor oil, chewing nails, and doing other things to fortify herself to come back and scare us some more. Her tactics would NEVER fly these days (without a nice fat lawsuit), but man, did I end up liking that woman. And she's the reason I passed the ridiculous number of college math classes I had to take. (When you pick 100 majors, you end up taking lots of math…and many other electives that have nothing to do with life or a sustainable career.)
Finally, there was Senor Kniseley. He's a very long story, but this guy was my teacher from seventh grade through college. He took a group of us on lots of trips, and basically made me appreciate culture. One year I was taking 22 and 24 hour semesters in college (don't even ask. This was even when I didn't eat junk food. How did I survive?). I was full time at the local university, but taking my foreign language at the community college to play catch up. So he sits me down as we're making my schedule, and he's like, “Your academic life is nuts and giving you wrinkles. Do you really want to be a teacher?” And I'm like, “Um. . . yeah.” And he says, “What do you REALLY want to do?” And I said, “I want to be a writer.”Â I think maybe one other soul on the planet knew this. And he nods. “Then be a writer.” And I said okay and went and flunked another Spanish quiz.
So who was your teacher of choice? Let me know and get in the running for a shiny new copy of So Not Happening!!! I hope you have a great week. See you Wednesday!