Pigs in the Sunshine

TGIF. I'm so glad to see the weekend.

Last weekend was busy, busy, busy. I woke up Friday with my eyeball all cyclopsy, which STRESSED me because I was to be in my good friend Leslie's wedding the very next day. So I went to the doctor, got some drugs, and went home and said some affirmations in the mirror like, “You don't look gross.” And “A bloated eye is still a very nice eye.” Or “At least your butt didn't swell.”

Anyway, I am makeup-less for ten days and having some sort of weird allergic reaction to who knows what, but the doctor gave me the thumbs up to wear the makeup for the wedding. Which was good. Because that eye needed some camouflage.

Here we are at the rehearsal dinner.
jen les kim dinner
That's me, Leslie the Bride, and Kim. Two things I want to make clear in this picture.
1. Leslie and I are not holding hands.
2. I'm not flashing the peace sign. Especially an upside down one. Nor am I sending a silent hello to my gang.

I didn't wear my Maybelline to the rehearsal dinner and felt a bit like a leper. The eye was pretty obvious. And weird looking.

Here we are at the wedding. With makeup! Woo!
kim les jen ginger wedding
Kim, Leslie the Bride, Jennifer the White Girl Who Needs To Work What Little Remains of Her Biceps, and Ginger the Tan

It was a great wedding and a  huge success. And by that I mean there was some good cake.

I know I shouldn't judge and call someone out, but I have to say this and get it off my chest:  John Edwards… you are a nimrod. Omg, seriously? SERIOUSLY? What a blight on the story of that child. My dad publicly denied me. My dad had some schmoe claim paternity. Um, did you want to go ahead and say a hex over her too? John Edwards said he hoped when his daughter was old enough she'd understand. I'd love to hear that explanation. I hope it starts with, “Well, I had just taken up crack cocaine…” When Edwards first came on the scene, I thought he was pretty captivating personality-wise. Very Kennedy-like to me. But Southern. Okay, I'm done. But John, if you're reading this, you are a first class idiot.

Another thing bothering me is the removal of one Conan O'Brien. It makes me want to buy this shirt. I like Leno, I do. But this whole late night fiasco is ridiculous.  NBC should be doing something more worthy of their time and energy. Like bringing the funny back to Saturday Night Live. (Seriously, quit picking vanity guests and get some people with an inclination toward humor. Like Jane Lynch. She would be AWESOME.)

I've been shopping on Etsy lately to find some bookplates and stationery. I love that site, though it's overwhelming in the sheer amount of stuff it has. They usually feature a different seller on the homepage every so often. Today's seller makes and sells lingerie. The name of her line? Hopeless.

You never know what you're gonna find on Etsy. Like these dishes.

And this artist has some really cool prints. But when I saw this one, I immediately saw breakfast cereal. You know the one.

Newbery winners were announced. You can check them out HERE. A few of those books are on my shopping list for my classroom, so I'm excited to read them.

Every semester I get a new batch of ninth graders. Instead of giving the “let me tell you about me” talk (yawwwwnnn), I give them a pop quiz where they have to answer questions about me as creatively as possible. Like, “What is my most embarrassing junior high memory?” Here are a few of their responses.

Me: I have a cat. What is his name?
Students: Sprinkles, Will Ferrell, Mittens, Twinkie, and Moo

Me: What is my other profession?
Student: Taxi driver
Student: Clown suit designer
Student: You are secretly Cat Woman
Student: Super cowgirl ninja princess zombie witch in space.

Me: What college did I graduate from?
Student: University of Funness

Me: What is my favorite summer job I had as a teen?
Student: Lumberjack
Student: Pig wrestling

Me: What is my favorite food?
Student: Salmon flavored ice cream

Me: What is my favorite song this week?
Student: Happy as a Dead Pig in the Sunshine by Khaki King
Me: That's a real song, isn't it?
Student: Uh, yeah

Me: What is my favorite movie of all time?
What I THOUGHT the kid said: Big and Busty
What the kid ACTUALLY said: The Big Lebowski

I hope you have a fabulous weekend. Wear some makeup for me.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 12 comments
Kim - January 22, 2010

You’re crackin’ me up Jen.

Tammy - January 22, 2010

Ha ha ha your students are so funny…I mean how do they come up with some of this stuff? lol

Sarah - January 22, 2010

Your students are so funny!

ashley - January 22, 2010

I just creepy cackle laughed at your #1 & #2 disclaimers on the rehearsal dinner pic.

What ARE you doing with your right hand??

Jenny B. Jones - January 22, 2010

I’m kinda not sure where my right hand is.
And my kids are funny. It’s just our second week of class, so hopefully it will get even better. Their entertainment value is really important to me. Er, I meant to say their education. Their education is really important to me.

Bethany Ellis - January 22, 2010

So, I saw the picture. But I didn’t see anything wrong with your eye. You looked great! I LOVE that top. Where’d u get it?? And I also think those bridesmaids dresses were pretty snazzy. I love Etsy! My aunt and my grandmother both have shops, but I didn’t actually buy anything from Etsy until a few months ago for Christmas gifts. It was awesome. 🙂

Lynnet - January 22, 2010

LOLROTF!!! I’m sure he got “The look” after that movie blurb! The kids must really enjoy having you as a teacher… Love the wedding pictures and the disclaimers. I thought you looked great.

Evangeline Denmark - January 22, 2010

I have you beat in the embarrassing wedding photo department. I have a picture of me, AT MY OWN WEDDING, standing with my hubby and the guy and girl who caught the garter and bouquet. It totally looks like I have my hand on Eric’s behind. Eric is not my husband. He was the guy who caught the garter. I absolutely did not feel him up, but it looks that way. Hubby and I had a fun discussion when we got our wedding photos.

Becky M. - January 22, 2010

I heard Ashley’s creepy cackle, and then did my very own at my little cube. “Big and Busty”… oh too many things to say that are NOT appropriate! I love it!

Amy - January 22, 2010

First of all, you look beautiful in those pics and I can’t even see anything wrong with your eye.

Second, JANE LYNCH would make me watch late night talk shows. She’s the best. Good suggestion. Now we just need to market it… I think you should be on the show, too, and I want to be on it so I can meet Jane Lynch. Ok, it’s a go. Let’s make it happen.

John Edwards is the reason little girls are afraid of men. And big girls, too.

Mary R Snyder - January 24, 2010

Girl — so sad about the eye/makeup thing. Hope you’re recovering and you figure out what made you go all wonkity.

As for the Conan / Leno thing…. I’m just over it. I miss Johnny Carson. There, I’m officially old.

Mary R Snyder - January 24, 2010

And the dishes… eeh! But may be good for dieting.


Leave a Reply: