Cats and Calculators

Happy Friday!

So I told you about my super talented student who is bound to write/act for Saturday Night Live. But I gave you the wrong link for her funny blog that documents her year in a Chicago inner-city school. I'm just glad she came back alive. And not selling crack. You can see the blog (for real this time) HERE. I just had to share some of her writing brilliance.

“All things beautiful must crash and burn and die a horrible screaming death before they can become beautiful again… that’s not a real saying or anything… that’s just how I felt on Monday morning.

I loved this funny story about her crappy boss at her part-time job:
He was (believe it or not) carrying on a civilized conversation with me, when he says “You know, I have a second job. You’ll never guess what it is, though, because it’s so different than this place.” He gestures to the wall of stuffed animals.

I, being stupid (as usual) and not knowing when humor isn’t welcome, say “HAH that would be freaking hilarious if it were, like, teaching Tae kwon Do or something! HA! That would be so funny.”

He teaches Tae Kwon Do. And he doesn’t think it’s that funny.

Or:
Right when you think the worst is over, life is like “Um, NO”, and decides to throw you another curve ball. This wouldn’t be so bad if, perhaps, you were athletically inclined or something. Which I am NOT.

So I’m sitting in class 091, (after a whirlwind of panic) and I’m wondering if maybe I small bad or something, because nobody is sitting within four feet of me on either side. Instead, they’ve all, like, clumped together, discussing the latest drama of the summer. ( And this time, by drama, I DO mean the oh-no-you-didn’t-just-steal-my-boyfriend-you-skank kind.)

Part of me is glad I’m not caught up in that, but the other part of me is kinda wishing I had stolen somebody’s boyfriend, just so I would have somebody to talk too.

So yeah, she's brilliantly talented. If I had had 1/10th of that writing magic when I was her age. Well, by now I'd be selling my Pulitzer's at garage sales just to “downsize” the collection. I'm very proud of this girl.

Did you know there are 1000 bacteria in a bowl of salsa after three to six dips of your chip? According to SHAPE magazine, it's the germ equivalent of kissing everyone at a party. For the sake of salsa? This doesn't bother me at all.

Thanks to my friend Jocelyn for leading me to this commercial.

It's like The Odyssey. For cats. It's also like someone was on crack cocaine when they created that.

And thanks to my good friend Rhonda for finding this fun site of book inscriptions. Isn't that so interesting? I love reading inscriptions in used books.

My friend Snow Lovin' Holly is a math teacher and sent me this IM last week: One of my kids has programmed one of my class calculators……every answer is now BOOB…… Gotta love those graphing calculators.

I know most people don't care about this–especially the type of people who read Christian fiction–but Steven Tyler has reunited with Aerosmith. Thus the band will live to release 10 more Greatest Hits albums. Seriously, that's all they put out. It drives me nuts. But I am relieved they are back together. Because when Joe Perry hurts, I hurt. May the mike scarves forever wave.

Remember Sleep Talking Man? Thanks to my friend, Salle, for guiding me to his blog. You can keep up with his nightly musings HERE. “Step away from the yam.”  I can't tell you how many times I'm looking for just the right phrase and “stay away from the yam” is the only thing that will do. And check out his line of products on the blog. I personally like the tshirt that says: Squid Wrestling. It's all Tentacles and No Substance. It would go nicely on the underwear he sells.

Finally, I want to tell you about a cool new Christian site for teens (and non-teens like me).

clashIt's called Clash Entertainment. And it's a great place for teens (and parents) to go for reviews of books, movies, and music. There's comics, articles, games, and all sorts of great links. The goal is to provide a safe source for teens to go for their entertainment needs, lift up God, and just create community. You can check it out HERE.
Have a great weekend!

JEN

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 5 comments
Ruth - February 26, 2010

That Friskies commercial is disturbing. It is like the cat version of the Odyssey with a little Alice in Wonderland thrown in for good measure. Whoever made that up was INSANE!! LOL!

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Sarah - February 26, 2010

May the mike scarves forever wave–I think we were destined to be friends. I love me some Aerosmith and have an inexplicable crush on Steven Tyler, despite his preference for 80s mom hair. What can I say, there’s something sexy about a man who can scream-sing his feelings about elevators. Thanks for for the great news!

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Jenny B. Jones - February 26, 2010

The commercial is disturbing. It’s like someone was on acid.

Sarah, I’m so glad I have a fellow Steven Tyler fan. And he does have 80s mom hair, doesn’t he? Wow. “Sing scream his feelings.” HA!

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Cassidy - February 26, 2010

I love Aerosmith = ) They’re awesome = )
And I know I’m odd, because I’m 15 and I like Aerosmith. Haha, but who cares? They rock = )

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Jocelyn - March 2, 2010

Haha! What disturbs me most about the commercial is that there are all of these animated turkeys, fish, and baby chicks dancing around–basically live versions of what eventually will become the ingredients in FRISKIES. It’s crazytown!

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