Name a Shirt, Win a Book

Just got the news Corey Haim has died. How sad. What a waste.  My favorite movie of his was probably Lost Boys. Eighties kids everywhere are sad, so buy one some ice cream today.

Don't forget this week's drawing. To enter you simply have to help us out with our annual Susan G. Komen/Race for the Cure shirts. It's easy! You just have to come up with something perfectly hilariously creatively and uniquely brilliant. Rhyming with boob is optional. Details HERE.

First of all, behold my favorite E*Trade commercial.

It was announced Tuesday that The Lohan is suing E*Trade for a ridiculous sum of money because CLEARLY that commercial is a slam on her character. She is asking for 100 million in damages. Someone needs to 1. Get new advisors 2. Get a real job so she can pay her cell phone bill without suing people for awesomely amazing commercials. The suit alleges that the name Lindsay is like “Madonna” or “Cher” in that she is the only famous Lindsay and clearly it was about her. Omigosh, get a life. My friend Oh-So-Pregnant Sheila had this to say:“Wow. I mean, it MIGHT be different if it was a redheaded baby at her GIRLfriend's house…  and they said “that coke fiend Lindsay.” Because THEN I could totally see E*Trade forking over 100 mill.

Right now I am loving Awakening by the Passion band. (Passion 2010). You can preview the whole thing HERE. Crowder Band's “Oh How He Loves Us” live is perfectly amazing. If that song doesn't speak to you, then you're dead inside. Because today I thought I was going to choke someone, and then I heard that song and totally calmed down and only put a small hurt on them instead. That's the Lord moving right there.

Apparently Miley Cyrus has fallen for her Aussie co-star from the movie The Last Song. It was “like” at first sight, and in an interview Cyrus says, “I think he and I are both deeper than  normal people.”  Um, THIS deep?  And here's a hint, people who ARE deeper than normal people, do not say they are deeper than normal people.  In fact, that's the ONLY reason those same words haven't come out of my mouth. . .

For those of you who wrote me and brought it to my attention that in the blurb for So Over My Head, it says Bella is newly single, but in the chapter one preview she CLEARLY has a boyfriend, well…she's a teen. And things change. Quickly. You'll just  have to read it to find out whether she's single-single. Or kinda-single. Or semi-dating-single.

I've read some books lately. I read Jillian Michaels' Master Your Metabolism. I can't recommend this book enough. It's an easy read, though it can get a little scientific. It's all about the bad hormones in our foods.  And if you're interested in that sort of thing,  clean eating guru Michael Pollan will be on Oprah this Thursday. He was on about a month ago to discuss his documentary Food, Inc, and it was seriously one of the best Oprah's I've ever seen. And I've seen 25 year's worth, give or take a couch-jumping episode.  God bless Mr. and Mrs. Obama for caring about our  health and health care, but ten minutes of watching this guy, and you'll know HE needs to be the one in charge of that gig.

I also read Libba Bray's Going Bovine (author of the great series A Great and Terrible Beauty) and Margaret Peterson Haddix's Just Ella. Next up is Oh. My. Gods., which is supposed to be like the female version of The Lightning Thief, a book I kinda struggled with.

This has been a crazy week and it's barely started. Monday morning I griped out my third hour class because the previous week I had oatmeal on my butt and nobody even thought to tell me. And the sad thing is it took me a full week to remember to chew them out. They were like, “We don't look at your butt.” And I was like, “It wasn't anything you'd have to go looking for. It was RIGHT THERE. And you let me walk around with oatmeal on my butt all day.” And they were like, “How did it get there?” And I was like, “…I don't want to talk about it.”

And to continue the craziness of the week, I am finishing up a book and writing like crazy. And I do mean crazy. Monday night I fell asleep at 7:3o pm for probably the first time in my life since I was two. And that was good. Because I needed to catch up on some missed sleep. But the problem with going to sleep at 7:30 is that seven hours later you wake up. At 2:30.  I was a real joy to my students that next morning. So yeah, writing like crazy. Working 'til 8-ish at school some this week for conferences. (I'm on the front lines as a greeter and procedure-explainer. My mom said it would look good on my resume when I was ready to transition to full time greeter at Wal-Mart.)  And somehow front-line-procedure-explainer became “please tell me your every gripe with our conference organization.”   If you think I'm a gifted listener who can gracefully handle a wad of complaints about my school, you're wrong. Another teacher and I started out being all kind and patient, but by the end of the evening, we were beating the parents to the punch. “You'll take this folder and go down that hall. They will want to show you a PowerPoint presentation, but if you see it, you'll just come back later and tell us it was a waste of your time, so when they try to grab you to watch it, just start running. And at the end of the obstacle course, you'll be shown into the library where you will stand with 1000 other parents. You will feel like you are in one of Dante's layers of hell. And you'll be right. You might want to bring snacks.”It was insane. And I sat by a volunteer who hadn't eaten since Saturday. And I was like, “Ma'am, I'm pretty sure you and I can't be friends.”

And my house is in “Deadline Destruction” mode.  So if Ellen drops by my house for a surprise money or car giveaway, she can just keep it, because I'm not letting ANYONE in during Deadline Destruction mode. So if you wanted to offer up a few prayers for me, I wouldn't sue you for 100 million or anything.

Have a great rest of the week.

My butt loves oatmeal  more than yours does-

Jen

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 11 comments
Ruth - March 10, 2010

I’m going to have to read Just Ella and Oh.My.Gods. – both of those sound intriguing. I love fresh takes on fairy tales, and I enjoyed The Lightning Thief – so that type of story from the female perspective sounds like fun!

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Jenny B Jones - March 10, 2010

Ruth, I actually couldn’t get into Just Ella, even though I think it is a BRILLIANT concept. It’s the story of what happens after Prince Charming slips the shoe on Cinderella’s foot and they live “happily ever after.” SUCH a perfect idea. But I was bored.

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Bethany Ellis - March 10, 2010

Wow. Where do I even begin?!

Well, that commercial. I love E*Trade commercials. My favorite is the golf one, but this is deff. a close runner up. When I heard that Lohan was suing, I about died laughing. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I hope her lawyers get penalized for bring such a stupid case to court.

And Miley Cyrus… while she can be funny in her TV show occasionally, I have to say that everything I’ve heard or seen from her other than that has been pretty weird. “Deeper than normal people?” What? Suuuure.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat oatmeal for a while.. but thanks for the laugh. How did it end up there, again? *evil grin*

Your mom sounds awesome. Is that where you get your humor from? I get my humor, quick wit and sarcasm totally from my Dad. My mom is funny, but without the quickness.

I’ll pray that you can finish your book in peace and that no one will come by with sweets or cash to interrupt you.

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Tammy - March 10, 2010

First off I think Lohan it so stupid for suing..I mean come on girl…I really think she needs to get a life..

As for mileys dress I really liked the bottom of it, but I did not like the top at all..i mean the girl is only 17..and her hair left something to be said…

ahh you have what happen to you what im scared will happen to me!! oatmeal on the butt..im always scared that ive got something on my butt and I cant see it, and that no one will tell me about it! lol
anyways hope you finishe writting your book fast and easy!

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Siri - March 10, 2010

I LOVE reading your blog…its a great way to start every morning…with a laugh and maybe a prayer.
Blessings on your deadline…er…writing for your deadline >< yeah…THATS what I meant…XP

;D

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Sarah - March 10, 2010

Oh, this post just made my morning! I laughed out loud like 16 times. I’m suing you for 100 million dollars in damages. Apparently, people don’t like it when you burst out laughing in the “quiet” area of the library.

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Cara - March 10, 2010

I absolutely adore the E*Trade commercials. My brother and I will be at teh school library waiting for our next class cracking up because we are watching them on youtube 🙂 The whole thing with Lohan is ridiculous…i think she is short on cash. What I think is funny is that she was the first to “recognize” this milkaholic as herself. What does that tell us about what she thinks of herself?

What book are you finishing up? Is it YA?

I CANNOT wait for May 4th! I am definately preordering my copy 😀

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Jenny B. Jones - March 10, 2010

Bethany, the E-Trade commercials are all so good. And the funny thing is those babies have NOTHING to do with trading. But it sure makes you remember the brand name.

Cara, yes, interesting that Lindsay thinks the milkaholic is clearly her. Ugh. Finishing up a rom-com for women. Not YA, but YA-reader appropriate. At least until I write those zombies into the last few chapters.

Sarah, libraries need more laughter. You laugh all you want to.

Siri, thank you. I can use all the blessings I can get.

Tammy, the top of that dress of Miley’s is AWFUL. Not age appropriate (though I’m not sure what age that WOULD be appropriate for), and it didn’t fit. She didn’t stand up straight the whole night.

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Evangeline Denmark - March 10, 2010

My husband’s dearest wish and goal is to be a Wal-Mart greeter. http://breathenbreatheout.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-husbands-ambition.html
But he wants the full set-up: oxygen tank and scooter. Sadly, the poor man continues in excellent health with a successful engineering career.
I feel so bad watching his dreams go unfulfilled, but what can I do?

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Stephanie - March 10, 2010

So I know you drove to Tulsa to see Wicked, because we were at the same showing of it…so I am guessing you can’t live too far from there–so I have a recommendation of a band to go see (this isn’t coming from nowhere, you DID talk about a new song you’re enjoying). But you need to see NEEDTOBREATHE. Awesome band! They play them on Air1 here (OKC) all the time. Great band…great guys. You should check them out…they’re coming to Tulsa pretty soon

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Jenny B. Jones - March 12, 2010

Evangeline, I think it’s a noble, valiant goal. And scooters are a must.

Stephanie, Need to Breathe IS a great band! I’ll have to check that out.

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