I Got Your Back, Sandy

If my life were a movie right now it would titled Weird. Let me share one example (as I type with a cat sprawled across the keyboard).

So last weekend I went to the monthly Wal-Mart meeting for managers. Don't ask how I got in. It involves Ginsu knives, a low cut blouse, and one jumbo pack of sparklers. Anyway, Sandra Bullock was there. And a surprise guest–Jesse James. News of his alleged infidelity had not leaked out yet.

So Sandra is there to promote the DVD release of Blindside. She and her husband are on stage a short amount of time. She is skinnier in person than on camera. She's enviably funny and well-spoken and humble. He is quiet and not into the lime-light.  The head dude of Wal-Mart/Sam's interviewed them, asking her about her Oscar, about their work together in New Orleans, and made them do the Wal-Mart cheer.
“This is my knee cap. The knee cap she will soon want to take a baseball bat to.”

So fast-forward to Thursday. I get home from school whistling a happy tune.  (This is my blog. I can spin this however I want.)  And there's an email in my Inbox from a supposed reporter from E! News telling me to call her asap. I ignore it. (But call everyone else I know.) I decide I'm not gonna say a word about the Wal-Mart meeting because over the last few days it's occurred to me that those of us there saw the couple in their last moment together before Mt. Infidelity erupted. And we have the last pictures as well. (Though all I've seen are like mine and hideous due to the awful lighting that is ALWAYS a problem at these meetings.)  Anyway, I'm gonna ignore the email.

Then I sit down with my laptop on the couch and pull up Twitter. And there's a message from the same reporter to contact her. At this point, I check her out and make sure she's legit. She is. So I DM the woman and tell her that I hate to disappoint her, but I really didn't have any good info to share. She assures me that she just wants some basic facts. On the phone at this time is a friend telling me to at least hear the questions so we'd have something to talk about on our afternoon 3 mile walk. So in the name of friendship and fitness, I answered a few questions Twitter-style.

Me to reporter: Sorry to be a killjoy, but I don't really have anything to share. They joked onstage with each other and it appeared normal.

Reporter: No, that's great. I'm not looking for anything negative. What was the speech for? Were they happy? How long were they there? What were they joking about? U can be anonymous if you want.

Me: (Yes, anonymous. Because next time I see Sandra at the local McDonald's, I don't want her to snub me.) They were joking about these great books they'd been reading called I'm So Sure and Just Between You and Me. (I'm pretty sure I only said this in my mind. Really I typed…) They were there about 10-15 minutes. Promoting Blindside.

Reporter: Why? Who got to attend?

Me: Only really brilliant authors who are on the short list for the Pulitzer or Newbery…I was so sad my friend Nora Roberts couldn't make it. (Real answer…) It's their monthly sales meeting. Management associates are req'd to attend. Often stars r brought in to promo a product/release.

And that was it. And somehow that turned into this reference. And we're thinking possibly this one as well. I'm “a source!” I've never been a source before. It was slightly thrilling. Can I now say: Jenny Jones, Christian fiction author, previously featured in E! and TMZ? Honestly, I was really glad I hadn't posted a blog about it this past Monday because I would've had more to say about the meeting than this. Sandra and Jesse were really cool and funny, but there were a few things I noticed that my friends and I talked about later. And I'm glad I kept it to myself so that it's now not on E! like it came from some reliable source. Because me and my fiction-seeking brain (deprived and on a deadline no less)…not reliable.

As the reporter was asking questions I kept thinking to myself, “When I get married and my motorcycle making husband cheats on me with some tattoo model skank, would I want someone to say I was perky and funny upon last sighting? Yes, I would.” So that's what I said. Because she was. Mostly. It was some interesting people watching that day, I will say that. And if anyone wants to know more, they will have to woo me with Ben and Jerry's and the return of Gilmore Girls to prime time television.

When we wrapped it up, I told her to tell Joel McHale that two girls from Arkansas loved him. She promised me tickets to his show Soup next time I was in L.A.

Just had to come out of my self-imposed blog vacation and share. A big thanks to my friend Sheila for scouring the ‘net for my heart-hitting anonymous quotes. And for her final comment: “You know who is loving this news? Tiger Woods.”

See you next week. Unless the Enquirer calls next. Maybe now they'll believe me that Elvis is my neighbor.


Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 16 comments
Diane - March 18, 2010

This is the first I’ve heard of any infidelity. Very sad.

Glad you took the high road and was classy. So many people would have run their mouths and been ugly.

Jennifer AlLee - March 18, 2010

Jenny, you live a life unlike any other! As for Sandra and Jesse, I really didn’t want to believe this story. When it broke in In Touch my response was “That’s a rag! It’s not true!” But now that she’s ditched a premiere “for personal reasons” and may have left their home, and the fact that Jesse was guarding his knee-caps the last time you saw him… It makes me very, very sad. Especially after watching her Oscar speech.

Anne Dayton - March 18, 2010

This is an awesome story. I am incredibly jealous. I mean, not of their situation, which sucks. And not of the fact you were at a Wal-Mart meeting (?!). But you got to see Sandra Bullock in person and be quoted for it. She can do pretty much whatever she wants with her life, and I will always love Sandra Bullock for Miss Congeniality. Um, maybe that was TMI. Can I just go back to “awesome story”?

Nicole O'Dell - March 18, 2010

What a crazy week! Don’t these people know you’re on deadline? They can’t be messing with your mind like this!

(Ps, I’m waiting for an email with all the deets!)

Jenny B. Jones - March 18, 2010

Diane, it is very sad. I liked those two a lot. Very un-Hollywood. or so we thought.

Jennifer, I thought the same thing at first–Not true! And that Oscar speech. Ugh. He’s not worthy.

Anne, the chic people all stop by my corner of Arkansas! I love Sandra too. Miss Congeniality was awesome. Until they made Miss Congeniality II. Which was not awesome. And The Proposal? Omg, her + Ryan Reynolds = nirvana.

Nicole, Yes, I’m on deadline!!! They are totally messing w/me.

Kristin - March 18, 2010

That is so crazy. All I can say is that if things this bizarre happen to you often, you should definitely find some way to incorporate them into your books, LOL. I’ve always been curious about those mysterious “sources” entertainment programs/websites refer to. =)


Kim Cash Tate - March 18, 2010

Have to confess–didn’t even know her husband’s name or that he’d had an affair. How wild that you were among the last to see the famed couple in a happy state…and were tracked down on Twitter! As one who loved The Blind Side and was pumped to see Sandra win, I can’t imagine having to deal with something like this just a short while afterward. I’m hoping she’s got a real friendship with the Tuohys, because I bet Leigh Anne could give her some serious wisdom.

Debra - March 18, 2010

Congrats being quoted. If that were me, I’d probably spend my next two ink cartridges on printing out just that one line!

Elvis is your neighbor? Too cool! I swear my neighbor is Batman – he has a weird batman tattoo and he acts very odd. Of course, I understand. I’d want to keep a low profile if I were living next to an ace reporter like myself. 😉


Sarah - March 18, 2010

I am totally pretending that I am The Source. I LOVE Sandra Bullock, and this whole thing is awful, but the fact that you just got quoted on E! online? Priceless.
By the way, I’d sooner believe that Elvis is your neighbor over your claims that your life is average and you write your name in furniture dust, etc etc. Admit it, you spend your days rubbing elbows with celebrities and rebutting John Mayer’s advances.

Marybeth Whalen - March 19, 2010

Jen, I’ve been wondering what was up so I was thankful you posted this. You are in the know about Hollywood for sure. I’ve never been a source but you’ve given me a new goal in life.

I love Sandra and I hate that this has happened to her. And that’s all I have to say about that.

As for neighbors, mine’s just plain mean and he has dogs who bark incessantly.

Kim - March 19, 2010

I think you’re going to have to start charging for me to hang out with you anymore. If you get anymore famous I don’t think I’ll be worthy of your presence. Last year Oprah, this year Enews…what’s next?

I’m glad I got to witness the last public appearance with you before Sandra’s life fell apart. I’ve been thinking about this more and more over the last few days. I think Sandy had to be aware of the infidelity and made her husband show up to make a good impression with Walmart and the Oscars. I’m sure she threatened him with his life if he didn’t play the role and be her plus one at the two events. He owed her at least that. Super sad. When she said in the interview at Walmart that she couldn’t believe the “The Blind Side” script was true. She obviously wasn’t aware of the kindnesses of the Christian community.

She has been one of my favorite actresses of all time. I hate that she’s going thru this ordeal but she deserves better and I hope she gets it.

Jenny B. Jones - March 20, 2010

Kristin, I don’t think this could work into a book. It’s not even believable. The whole time I was writing this, I was thinking, this sounds like I’m making it up.

Kim T, we have been blessed with celeb sightings the past few years!

Debra, Batman is all about secrecy. So you’re going to have to find a way to break in and find his secret underground “office.”

Sarah, believe me, I live la vida average.

Marybeth, that STINKS that you have a barking dog right next door. Maybe Debra could send Batman over?

Kim and Kim, I was thinking the same thing–I hope in all of this mess, she somehow gets a taste of the peace of Christ and thinks on what the Tuohy’s had to rely on.

Amy - March 21, 2010

I’m so psyched I can say I know “the source.”

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