Christmas Shopping Hints

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Oprah has picked her 65th book club selection–A Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations. No offense to an author who has been a dead white male (as my friend Rhonda would say) for about 140 years, but clearly Oprah's out of things to read. Every semester my kids do a speech titled “What I Would Do if I Became Principal.” The most repeated idea this year? Banning the forced ninth grade reading of Great Expectations. So Oprah, I know 1500 teenagers who won't be joining your club. Now if you'd gone with Percy Jackson…

We're on the home stretch to Christmas break, for those of you who are in school. Or get a paycheck from a school. Or just like to miss a lot of work in December. And maybe as this holiday draws near, you need some tips on what to get those special people in your life for Christmas. Fear not. I'm here to help. And not a classic book in the mix.

1. For that person who has zero taste in attire and just needs to add to that collection of holiday sweaters. Browse HERE.

2. For that person who is easily amused.

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3. For that person who loves to sing in the shower (you know who you are). Maybe it's time to step it up and get yourself some stage lighting.

4. For the Bret Michaels in your life.

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5. For the feminist in your life.

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6. Need your Mister to get to the Honey-Do list? How about a big terry-cloth hint?

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7. For that creepy kid in the family who just won't be satisfied with that Justin Bieber CD you originally purchased.


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Creepy, eh? I don't have a problem with Chris Angel. But why does he have to look like Satan's step-son?

8. For the pyro in your life. Now he can be three times as efficient.

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9. For the child who has everything. . .except maybe your affection.

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That is a hot toy for Christmas. And $75.00. And hideous. And already needing a brow wax. And a child would want an automated cave man because…? But then we all probably have one of those “what was I thinking” toys in our past. I remember when I was about four I asked for (and got) a cow you could milk. A sad, sad replacement for a pony.

Hope these helped. All of the above also make good bosses gifts. Or Breaking Up gifts. Or “This Was All Walgreens Had At Nine PM on Christmas Eve” gifts.


Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 8 comments
Jenny - December 6, 2010

My 4 & 7 year old sons asked for the monster thing. They also asked for any Lego sets or toys that made noise and moved that were over $50. They are not the most discriminating list makers. I will have to keep them away from your blog, because if they see the nose, it shoot to the top of their list.

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Leah - December 6, 2010

Oh my gosh! I LOVED the nose!
I should get that for my broth in law!

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christa - December 6, 2010

Aren’t you supposed to be writing? I’m just saying…But these are hysterical!

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Kristin - December 6, 2010

Oh, wow, I feel dumb. It took me forever to realize that the nose was a nose. =) I glanced at it and thought it was just a shower gel dispenser. Though I did think the shower gel was a nasty color. =)

~Kristin

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Jenny B Jones - December 6, 2010

Jenny, I’ve yet to figure out what the cave man guy does. And apparently Legos are HOT this year. Especially those expensive themed sets. I’ve been looking at them for my nephew, but didn’t have time to sell a kidney.

Christa, writing? What’s that?

Kristin, the gel is a nasty color! So gross. I love it.

Leah, you would be the hit of Christmas if you gave one of those.

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Allie Smith - December 10, 2010

so what DOES someone get an ex?especially one that you were forced to break up with?iv spent the last few weeks trying to find something that says “i havent given up… still like ya” but no avail…its just so hard!!!
any ideas?

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GreenBeanTeenQueen - December 13, 2010

I really don’t get the caveman or dancing Mickey toys. They’re so popular but what do you do with them really? Just watch it go crazy? What kid will really get up and dance with Mickey? Or bang their chest with the caveman? It just teaches kids to be lazy with a remote-I really hate it. (And it’s so loud and annoying! I accidently set off Dancing Mickey at Target and then had to slyly slink away from the toys…oops!)

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Allie Smith - December 16, 2010

oh my word,i have done that soooo many times!!!like those “come-alive” babies.oh my word!i could be wrong but im pretty sure they’re motion-activated,cuz i walked by & that thing SCREAMED…i mean SCREAMED!!!i was like,”back away slowly…no one will notice…”

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