Old Man Winter was very good to Arkansas Thursday. Some parts got up to six inches. My yard only saw three, but it was enough.
I don't know if you know this (insert wink), but I adore a good snow day. Is that putting it mildly? Okay, snow to me is like street drugs to Charlie Sheen.
I love snow for a lot of reasons, one of them being that it makes me so poetic and such a deep thinker. Here are some reflective thoughts I came up with while on my day off.
1. My attempts to telepathically convince my neighbor kids to bring me my mail were unsuccessful.
2. The hill behind my house could be perfect for sledding. Except for those 200 trees.
3. My snow day hair could scare small children. And Chinese dictators.
4. Forgoing hygiene gross? Nay, character building.
5. Snow days are far more enjoyable when all of my family is safely tucked back in at their respective homes. Thus, I am recommending they all become teachers, so they, too, will experience the joy of these frosty workless days. And detention slips. Also nice.
6. Sometimes people email me and angrily blame me for the snow. I'm talking to you, co-workers. And Mom.
7. You say lazy, I say Nappishly Efficient.
8. My back yard is crying for a snow angel.
9. Snow and sugar free diets are a crime against humanity.
10. Dear hot chocolate, I miss you. And love you. And wonder if you think of me, too…
11. All attempts to get work done are futile. So is wearing anything but sweats.
12. All attempts to sleep before night of undeclared snow day are futile.
13. All attempts to avoid the chips in my cabinet? Also futile.
14. Somehow the snow freezes my cooking abilities.
15. When deprived of carbs for weeks, everything looks like a cupcake.
16. Frozen streets somehow make General Hospital watchable.
17. Upping the telepathic ante to neighbor kids with bacon does no good.
18. Wish Sonic would deliver me a tea with their rabbit pellet ice. And a banana split.
19. Healthy meatballs made with beef, tomatoes, carrots, and cauliflower do not honor the Lord or his bountiful snow.
20. Cutie oranges have stayed me in a few dark, sugar-detoxing hours.
21. On snow days, I am easily overwhelmed by a to-do list that includes anything more than turning a page, picking up the remote, or fluffing my pillow.
22. What's better than one snow day? TWO snow days. Friday, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Polar Fleece Britches.
22. No snow dance is ever wasted. Neither is my 1989 bedazzled unitard.