Snowdaysical

One more day until Save the Date officially releases! Congrats to Leah, winner of Save the Date. Leah, email me and send me your snail mail addy please.

Oh, Old Man Winter is really jerking my chain. (What does that phrase mean exactly?)
For days we heard about this winter system coming in. Last Thursday, my favorite forecaster, Weatherman Dan, said it was going to be significant and maybe up to five inches. Then by Friday night all three major network weather channels said “The system has shifted. This will be a rain only event.” As I told a friend, I got so depressed I thought about jumping off my roof, but then I got busy doing something else and forgot about it. Then by Saturday the weather guys start tweeting about a total Snowmageddon, with the models showing up getting a foot or more of snow. (This is major, MAJOR for Arkansas. We can't even function with a few inches of snow.) Then tonight, it's back to 2-3 inches with some ice.

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, weathermen! You're driving me crazy. What we need are weather WOMEN. We know how to TC of B. (take care of business) and make a decision. “Snow. Half a foot. Quarter inch of ice. Done.”

Actually we don't need weather women. I like my weather men. Dan is my favorite, because he also likes snow and is just nice, followed by a guy named Garrett, because he's the most accurate, with Weatherman Who Shall Not Be Named coming in third because he's pasty and totally lacking personality. Last night Dan tweeted about crazy snow totals coming in, and I tweeted him back, asking how much. And get this…he answered me. I about fell out of my chair. Do you have any idea how much this means to me? Like I was all giggley and fanning myself.   Dan.  Weatherman. My Platonic Weather Related Crush. Sent me a tweet. About 1-2 feet of snow. Weathermen are such rock stars.

AND this weekend I found out that there is a program that companies, such as Wal-Mart use, that forecasts the weather for seven years. So that way they know in 2013 they need to order more umbrellas because it's going to be a rainy summer. HOW do you get your hands on this magical program? I must know! I could hold the power of foretelling snow days in my hands!  AND THEN I said to my friend who imparted this news, “Wal-Mart should have a job, where that person just studies the weather patterns.” (she says dreamily…) And then Friend says, “They do. There's a guy that does that. That's all he does.” CAN you imagine? I must somehow make this guy disappear and take his job. Imagine. Me–alone with weather trending all day. Sighh.

So I finally got with it and saw Social Network. I didn't dig it. First of all, Mark Zuckerberg was a total jerk and weirdly, socially awkward. I thought he acted like he had Aspergers. This is a fictional account (wink-wink), but this guy basically threw people under the bus for his own gain. This character and I would not be friends. I thought the movie was slow, but it was interesting. I had no idea the founder of Napster was so involved in the rise of Facebook. Or that the founder of Napster looks like Justin Timberlake! On a side note, the real Zuckerberg and the actor who played him were both on Saturday Night Live this weekend. It was also awkward.

So Taco Bell is being sued in Alabama because their taco meat is only 36% beef. Taco Bell has taken out full page ads in major newspapers, saying, “Thank you for suing us,” because it gives them a chance to tell the word that we can trust their tacos. Because they're 88% beef. And 12% secrets. (Oh, thanks. I feel much better…)

I better go and check the weather. Surely it's hit land by now and they can have a more accurate forecast for the love of all that's cold, frosty, and school-closing. But on a closing note…I miss waffles.
That is all.