Long Time No Talk

1331393_chalk_worldThank you for all the kind thoughts sent my way and to my family during the last few weeks. We really appreciate it and have absolutely felt those prayers. Y'all are the best. Truly.

So Harold Camping and his followers state that the world as we know it is ending Saturday. Now, I didn't get to sleep in last weekend, so the timing of this is super inconvenient. I don't believe Harold and the Dooms Dayers for a number of reasons, but the top one being that God is a merciful God. So clearly he'd take us all home on a Monday. Or a Sunday night so Monday doesn't even have to happen.

But we live in a world where the CDC now acknowledges the very real possibility of the Zombie Apocalypse, so anything could happen I guess.  So let's just say the world is ending. How would you spend those last few days?

I would:

1. Finally watch Friday Night Lights. (Just got DVD set of season one. I know, I know. Where have I been?)
2. Eat. A lot. (And how is this different from any other day? )
3. Forgo working out. (And how is this different from…)
4. Obviously get in people's face about Jesus. (Because that has a history of being a really successful tactic…)
5. Cancel number four and visit loved ones with the message of Christ. Sang to the melody of my favorite Michael Jackson hits. Which would prompt number six…
6. Finally, FINALLY figure out that dang moon walk.  (Seriously, do y'all have olive oil on your shoes  or something?)
7. Stay out in the sun without sunscreen or worries of: melanoma, wrinkles, or a need to purchase stock in retinol.
8. Make my mother fix strawberry shortcake.
9. Wrap Miller in swaddling blankets, stick him in a basket with kibbles and a note, then place him on a doorstep of some really nice atheists. (Woolite carpet cleaner will be included, as well as the book How to Deal with Your Bulimic Cat With Love and Tranquilizers.)
10. Compose my list of questions for Jesus and safety-pin it to my bra, so I don't lose it when I'm sucked up to Glory.  (Because he and I REALLY need to talk about the point of cellulite and property taxes.)

What about you? How would you spend your last few days?

P.S. We've had a LIVELY discussion going on at a blog about the evils/blessings of Christian fiction. If you'd like to weigh in (to offer insight, not lambast, not that you would), check it out here. And don't forget, once you post, it's there forever. Like if you go all drama queen and snippy. Like me. I don't recommend that. I'm not exactly proud of my phrasing. But in my defense, I'd been at home for a few days….with Miller…and corn chips…

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 14 comments
Julie Jarnagin - May 19, 2011

Hahahaha! I love #9. I had to read it to my husband.

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Allie Smith - May 19, 2011

omigosh,so good to have you back,jenny!i missed you!!!ok that sounded wierd…
nyways,hmmmmm if saturday was the last day…
*i would eat a whole box of twinkies
*go skydiving
*stand on a car and shout “the end is near!!!all ye sinners repent now,or forever hold your peace!!!”
*enjoy having random stuff thrown at me.
*go rent a nice sports car and drive it really fast.
*witness to the police officer that pulls me over.
*toilet paper my ex’s house.naw,thats bad…muahahahahahaha
*spend a whole day at the movies (thats like a life goal of mine)
*watch Gossip Girl.my mom says that show would be a bad influence on me :/
*and last,but not least,i would get a facebook and see how many friends i can acquire within a 24 hour period.

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Annie - May 19, 2011

i’d probably just read and eat junk food. not that that’s much different from how i utilize my free time now… haha. but if the world were ending i wouldn’t be thinking about school or work or looking for a second job like i am right now, and which have been prevented my being able to read and eat junk food all day.

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Helen - May 20, 2011

I love #9. It’s something I think about a lot with my beloved puppy Sam. I now need to go find me some nice atheists!

Other things I would do:
*Finally get that Iphone I’ve been wanting
*Text everybody I know on my new phone
*Spend time with my husband
*Drink a lot of Snapple
*Read Books
*Dance in the rain
*Say I love you to all my friends and family

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Mary - May 20, 2011

Yes on watching Friday Night Lights — I have it on Net Flix and am making a commitment to watch it.

Glad to see you back ’round here. Missed you, funny girl. Praying for you and the family.

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Kristin - May 20, 2011

I’ve missed your posts, Jenny! This one was hilarious. =) I honestly don’t know what I would do…I do know that it makes me feel uneasy when Christians think they can name the day that Jesus is coming back.

Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog! =)

~Kristin

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Mandi - May 20, 2011

Haha! This made me laugh 🙂 Good to see you back 🙂

I would have to say go sky diving. that’s really the only thing i’m dying to do before i die:)

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Abbigail - May 20, 2011

Hmm…I really want to go parasailing. And do this. http://www.wimp.com/waterinvention/ But considering my sense of balance, I’d probably fail. Miserably. At both. At this, too. http://www.wimp.com/germanacrobat/
I’d want to convince myself it wouldn’t kill me to do this http://www.wimp.com/zipline/ , and that it’s my last chance to do it, so do it! Then I’d reward myself with this. http://www.wimp.com/bestinvention/ Would probably have to take out a bank loan, but I’d be gone the next day, so who cares!?
I’d want (not only would want, but would like to NOW!) to witness to my lost grandfather, be a more Christlike example to my messed up cousins, and learn to get along with my brother. (By the way, have a chance to do at least the first two in a little over a week, when we’re going to visit the fam! So excited!)
I’d buy a REALLY good camera, and learn how to use it. Probably would have to take a class to figure it out. And take out another bank loan.
I’d also compose a list of questions for God. A really long one. ‘Nuff said.
And this is gonna sound really cheesy, but last of all, I’d want to meet you! Just finished reading “Just Between You and Me”, and now I’m dying for another one of your books! ‘Cept I’ve read all the ones I own. And it seems too soon to reread them already. It’s always gonna seem that way. Your books are unforgettable! The ones I own would be five of the eight that are out. Can’t find your Katie Parker series anywhere…

Okay, this is a really long comment, sos I’d better wrap it up. Still praying for you and your family!
-<3-Abbigail

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Joy - May 20, 2011

If Saturday was the end…

1. I’d eat at least 20 different ben and jerry pint size ice creams
2. I’d laugh like an annoying brat and say, “Haha, I don’t have to worry about getting fat.”
3. Eat some more ice cream. And lots of chocolate!
4. Burn a whole bag of marshmallows in a campfire.
5. Spontaneously break out into song every 25.3 minutes. (When I’m very overtired (or even when I’m not tired), I begin to think of my life like it’s a musical.)
6. Scream “THE END IS NEAR. SINNERS REPENT!” from the top of a building. (Really, who wouldn’t want to do that?)
7. Run through a field of wildflowers in a ballgown.
8. Go swinging at the park. Also in a ballgown.
9. Finally go off the high dive. (Or not)
10. Perfect the cannonball.
11. Eat mashed potatoes. Yum.
12. Spend time with family and friends.
13. Tell some things/feelings/thoughts I’ve been too scared to reveal.
14. Finally, shout this into the sky towards God: “There had better be books up there! I didn’t get to finish all these down here!!!!” 🙂

But I would need to quit my job first so I could do all this. 😉

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Joy - May 20, 2011

Oh, and Allie Smith, I liked the toilet paper idea. And yeah, I realize that sounds mean. 🙂

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Stephanie - May 20, 2011

This post and all the responses brought such smiles to my face. Jenny, the people that get to spend time around you are blessed indeed!

I also linked to that “lively discussion” – wow. You presented yourself so well – and it was really great to see so many authors that I’ve read responding. I’m such a fan of Christian fiction, it has inspired me and moved me closer to the Lord time and time again….

Praise God for all of you Christian Fiction authors!

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Liv - May 21, 2011

Thanks for standing up for us Teen Christian Chicks on that blog Jenny! I would:
*Demand that Cadbury give me more creme eggs.
*Read
*Eat said eggs.
*Read
*Cry for gone eggs
*Read
*Repeat
*Read
*Wish that He had come on June 19, the day after Camp Caswell the happiest place on Earth 😉
*Read.
*Did I mention I would read?
Love,
Olivia

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Sarah - May 21, 2011

Woohoo! Jenny’s back!
1- repent, repent, repent!!
2- say G’bye to my followers
3- spend all my money in my little red savings box
4- tell my family I love ’em to pieces until they get mad at me for saying it SO many times
5- go to the Chinese buffet! Bring on the dumplings!
6- few hours later Italian food
7- buy tacos for my friends & tell them that Jesus is the saviour & lives the unconditionally
8- stand in the middle of a full parking lot on top of a car & sing my favorite songs
9- get upset b/c I didn’t find out who won American idol
10- get pretty for Jesus 🙂

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Sarah - May 21, 2011

Loves them unconditionally oopsssieee 😮
Plus I’d borrow a car and drive around w/ my foot sticking out the window
And I’d get a fb and see how many friends I could obtain in that much time

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