Sleep

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Last night I had a dream I worked in a furniture store. This is no big stretch because I LOVE LOVE LOVE furniture stores.
But I had a secret life. By night…I was a zombie hunter. I don't want to brag, but I saved a lot of lives. But man, it was a ton of work. Especially because I knew I had to be back up the next morning selling some La-Z-Boys.
I believe the Lord sometimes speaks in dreams.
So. I think we all know what this means.
When the Zombie Apocalypse hits…I'm your girl.
Actually I picture the Z.A. involving a whole militia of zombie hunters. I really hope I'm not the leader. I'm not really leader material. I'm more of a follower. Followers get to take more breaks.
Please don't be jealous of my new future role in the saving of mankind. We can't all sell sectional sofas and chase the undead.

This morning I was supposed to get up at 4:30, for my thrice-weekly workout with a group of mutually insane people. Except for the last few months I haven't been able to get up and around consistently. It's pretty pathetic. I have a workout buddy too. But do we hold each other accountable or inspire one another? No. We inspire each other to stay in our respective homes and sleep an extra 2 hours. It's awful. Something has got to change.

I decided I need the trainer to call me at 4:30 in the morning and just yell at me. Just go all Jillian Michaels Biggest Loser on me.
Yelling negativities at 4:30 in the morning would be so motivating.
I'm pretty sure the trainer doesn't want the job though.
So if you're obnoxiously loud and mean, and don't mind getting up before hens and chickens and roosters and crack dealers, then please give me a call. I think I have a job for you.
Because this isn't just about me working on my fitness.
No, the stakes are much higher now.
Because now. Now I know I'm in training…to save the world.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 24 comments
bookwyrm14 - October 19, 2011

Wow Jenny. Wow.

At least you have some motivation to exercise. The only motivation I have is to pass PE, and then after this year, I will be a permanently lazy bookworm couch potato. 🙂

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Clare Kolenda - October 19, 2011

I’m relieved to know that there is at least one other soul on this earth who has crazy wacky dreams like me. Seriously, my dreams are really just very intricately woven random plots that have me starring the lead role… hehe. Story ideas anyone? 😉
Although I’ve never been cool enough to dream of zombies and la-z-boys, I did once have a dream that I worked at a smoothie shop… that was actually secret headquarters for the CIA. And then there was this little thing about Russian spies finding out and trying to kill me. But don’t worry, I had some super ninja-smoothie moves and defeated them all. Oh yeah, that’s me. Saving the world one smoothie at a time. 🙂

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Olivia - October 19, 2011

You are too funny! Can I be your zombie killing sidekick? 😉

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bookwyrm14 - October 19, 2011

Oooh! I call dibs on being the girl who falls in love with one of the zombie-killing, hunky guys! (There’s always one of those ;))

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Morgan - October 19, 2011

bookwyrm,
I’ll flip a coin with you for it lolololol 🙂

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Ashley - October 19, 2011

Nice to know I’m in good company on the dream front. 🙂 In the most recent weird dream I’ve had, I was playing hide-n-seek with a lion that was chained up in Ellen DeGeneres’s front yard. Oh yeah. And Zac Efron. Random.

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Jenny - October 19, 2011

“Please don’t be jealous of my new future role in the saving of mankind. We can’t all sell sectional sofas and chase the undead.” You are such a hoot! No jealousy here. No doubt I will be the wimpy girl in the fetal position under my bed…no wait, that is the first place a zombie would look…my closet…2nd place – shoot! I stink at this. You save the world, because I will be praying for someone to rescue me from that scary stuff!

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Erin McFarland - October 19, 2011

“Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!!!”…a little Jillian Michaels for ya. Pretty sure she could make a grown man cry.
Zombies+Sofas…pretty sure you have me beat in the crazy dream department 🙂

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Stephanie - October 20, 2011

Jenny, I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve visited your blog with a “morning blah” on my face, and finished reading with a big ol’ smile. Thank you for that.

Last night I dreamed about being part of a resistant group fighting against the aliens that had attacked and enslaved mankind. Perhaps that’s my future giftedness….but it was pretty scary, I found myself just hiding a lot, so maybe I’m not that cut out for it.

Thanks again for the smiles!!!!

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bookwyrm14 - October 20, 2011

Morgan,
I called it first. 😉

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Morgan - October 20, 2011

bookwyrm,
O MAN!!!! okay 🙂 I’ll be the really brave one that thinks that we should take everything seriously, and there is nothing to be afraid of lol can’t think of what she would be called though… hummmmm…..

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Jenny B Jones - October 20, 2011

I normally don’t have wacky dreams or ever even remember them. That’s why this has to be prophecy. I’m looking for new Zombie Hunting shoes right now. Maybe some new head bands.

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Allie Smith - October 20, 2011

Zombie hunting shoes…wow.I don’t even know what to say to this post except if you ever need a sidekick I’m sooooo not ur gurl!Lol.Hey,I see a new book series looming in ur future!No,wait,that’s already been taken.Several times, actually.Bummer…
Oh,Morgan and bookwyrm…IT’S ON!!!

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bookwyrm14 - October 21, 2011

Allie,
Like I already told Morgan, I called it first.
Y’all just weren’t fast enough. Better luck next time. 😉

My zombie hunting hunky guy will look EXACTLY like a cross between Orlando Bloom and Logan Lerman, who just happen to be the stars in the new movie Three Musketeers that comes out today! I can’t wait to see it! I mean, hot guys sword fighting? What more does a girl want? 😉

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Morgan - October 21, 2011

Bookwyrm,
Does your zombie hunting hunky guy have a really hot sidekick that has a crush on me? lol cause if so I call that!!!!
Allie,
BRING IT ON!!!!! LOLOLOL

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Allie Smith - October 21, 2011

oh.my.word.are we calling sidekicks now?!lets just let the zombie-hunting-hottie-cross-among-orlando-bloom-logan-lerman-mario-lopez-zac-efron-matthew-mconaughey-guy (deep breath) choose 🙂 lol good luck,yall!!!muahahahahaha

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bookwyrm14 - October 22, 2011

I’ll let y’all fight over the sidekick. I got the captain. I’m satisfied. 😉

And Allie, I admire your taste. Although Zach Efron…eh. But Matthew Mconaughey is hot. I don’t know Mario Lopez, although the name sounds vaguely familiar…

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Allie Smith - October 22, 2011

Bookwyrm,congrats on getting el capitan 🙂 So now I guess I hafta pick a fight with Morgan!!!Lol I chose Mario Lopez because of his dimples. I am SUCH a sucker for dimples!
Morgan…all’s fair in love and war…

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Jenny B Jones - October 22, 2011

Mario Lopez??!!

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bookwyrm14 - October 22, 2011

Ok I googled pics of Mario Lopez and he’s pretty hot. But the whole moving-in-with-and-having-a-baby-with-your-girlfriend morality issue doesn’t endear him to me as much. I’m an old-fashioned kinda gal.

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bookwyrm14 - October 22, 2011

Yes I know other actors have done that too, but still. Doesn’t make it right.

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Kelly - October 23, 2011

So is this God’s way of telling you that your next beautifully written piece of fiction should be about someone finding love in the midst of the zombie apocalypse?

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Allie Smith - October 23, 2011

Yes,Jenny,Mario Lopez!!!Lol Well not him so much as his dimples…I did not know about the morality issue,I guess we’ll hafta sub him for someone else…bummer…

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Morgan - November 9, 2011

BRING IT ON ALLIE!!! LOLOLOL 🙂

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