Roses Are Red…

I never knew I was so desirable until I got on Facebook. My visage is apparently so alluring, it draws men even from foreign countries. From thousands of miles away, they sense my sexy.  They write me messages and are so love-drunk, they forget how to spell. They are so besotted, their English fails them.

This one, from Fadel, sent an arrow straight to my heart:

Well hi sexy lady Jenny BABY, Well i just wish to send you this mail and i hope you don't mind be-cos i was just also looking for a very serious and hardworking AND HONESTLY AND WELL SINCERELY AND STRAIGHT PERSON TO BE WITH AND ARE YOU 4 REAL. And i just love your sexy pic with your friend over their And has you had already said and this is all about me and i really wish to hear from you soon.

Dear Fadel,
Your mix of CAPS and text lingo has certainly turned my head. How could it not?
Your attached photo does resemble a mug shot, but I know that's just a little Photoshop humor on your part. I like how you are looking for a hard-working hetero lady. You seem to be a man with your priorities straight. She must like dudes, and she must be a work horse.

I also like how you say, “this is all about me.” Your honesty is totes attractive. I'm cool with the way you just lay it out there, lest I think ours would be a relationship built on generosity and selflessness. Or green cards and Visas.

Just when I thought you couldn't get any dreamier, I read on and your correspondence tells me you are Oxford educated. As if I hadn't guessed that already.

Even though I'm blocking you for now, I'm not doing it for safety reasons. Think of it as a test of our love. If we are truly meant to be, you and your desire for my social security number…you will find me again.

Luv2U
Jenny