What This World Needs Is A Fudge Round

AUGHHHH!!! I'm getting (supposed to be getting) ready for a trip and things are cray-zay. Like I don't put off packing all on my own, a million things have come up. My parents are house sitting, but they refused to blog for me. (rude) Today I had to go back to school for inservice. We brainstormed ideas for next year, talked about how to motivate and help our ninth graders in this big-o-high school, etc. They did accept one of my ideas, which was to promote more jeans days. I was proud of that. I'm pretty much the Good Will Jeans Ambassador. They did not discuss my other ideas. They included:

1. Stock snack machine in workroom with Little Debbie's snack cakes. Cost effective and high on yum factor.

2. Sweats Day– In Hanes We Trust.

3. Bring Your Cat To Work Day. (and I would also be tempted to include: Leave Barfing Cat in Parking Lot Day)

4. Daily nap time. It was on the news just this evening how harmful lack of sleep is to teens and how little sleep they are actually getting. I ask you, do we care about grades…or do we care about children? I know MY answer. Let's stop being so selfish and grade-driven and get the teachers and authors children what they really need–some ZZZZs.

5. Extended lunch hour. Teachers have like 20 minutes to eat. I haven't consulted the Guinness Book of World Records, but I'm pretty sure no other species eats as fast as teachers. We can't help it. You take classes on it in college. The faster you eat, the more likely you are to be overweight. The faster you eat, the less likely you are to absorb the nutrients. Yes, the kids could use this extended time to get into trouble and hijinks. But who cares. This is about me my colleagues.

6. Company cars. I hear there are a lot of lonely Chrysler's out there. . .

7. More vacation days. Frankly, two weeks in December, as well as June, July, and a few weeks in August is not enough. Let's begin to celebrate our diversity and acknowledge some of the lesser known holidays. Like National Towel Day. National Eat a Doughnut Day. Hug a Friend Day. And let's not forget, Wear Your Underwear Backwards Day. I don't want to offend anyone's culture or beliefs. Let us celebrate all the holidays and not be snobby in the ones we pick and choose.

8. Snow Day Forgiveness. I've written to every incoming president about this one. So far…no response. My own school district does not acknowledge this either, but I believe this is a national issue. Snow is beautiful. And to make up the days we missed it to say, “Snow, you are evil for canceling school. So evil, we'll show you! We'll just go to school in June!” That's unkind. It's unpatriotic. It's unAmerican. My grandfathers both fought in WWII, and they would not approve.

9. Talk Like a Pirate Day. This is also a calendar holiday, but it's yet to really catch on. I feel like the Somali pirates just want some love and attention–and their own recognized holiday. And by recognized, I mean day off–with accents. I think these pirates would stop kidnapping and marauding if they saw a litlte care and consideration. They want a world where they can be free to drop words like booty and poop deck. They want to say “shiver me timbers” and not be chided. And I don't think that's too much to ask for. (By the way, pirates?!! Who KNEW pirates would make a comeback? What next–Vikings?)

10. No inservice on day before major vacations or any event that involves packing. Today I should've been at home watching General Hospital and Ellen packing and preparing myself for the trip. But where was I? At school. Talking about next year. (Guess who is NOT just chock-full of ideas for next year when she's been out of school a whole ONE DAY? Because I am not lying when I say my idea contribution was more jeans days.) Packing is seriously stressful to some people. Somewhere I believe there are probably nice doctors who prescribe nice drugs to people who struggle with PAD, aka packing anxiety disease. PAD hurts people. PAD cripples. PAD makes me say snippy things to the American Airlines lady weighing my overly stuffed bag.

So if anyone from my school is reading this, those were my ideas that were not acknowledged. And yes, maybe it's because I spent a lot of time with my head on the desk, drooling on my arm with my eyes closed. But I wasn't asleep. I was meditating on my vision for next year's success. But I will not stop being the lone wolf. I am an independent thinker, and one day it will be appreciated, as in the cases of my predecessors Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, and the guy who created an entire town to smell like Hershey chocolate. You cannot keep this idea girl down.

Anyways, I'm off for vaykay, so there will be blogging, but no commentos. So you guys will have to carry the comment torch and keep it going. Tawk amongst ya selves.

JEN