Snow Day Manual: Part Deux
As mentioned Friday, I am SURROUNDED by “snow days are bad!” negativity. The Snow Day Prejudice is becoming an epidemic around here as today marks our seventh snow day. And there are certain unnamed people who are right now at this moment poking pins in voodoo dolls with curly hair and short legs.
Thus was born my idea to write The Snow Day Manual. Because this unnatural hated, this bias against frozen precip has cut me to the core. But then I got a revelation from the Lord. And he said, “Jen, they don't hate because they dislike snow. They hate because…they don't understand. Go, therefore, and teach. Teach them the 12th commandment, found in the book of (the signal faded here…) that states ‘Love Thy Snow Day As Thyself.'” And I said, “Okay, Jesus.”
So if you find yourself disliking The Snow Day maybe it's just because you don't understand it. Because you don't know what to do with this iced in time. Fear not. Me and The Snow Day Manual (available soon from my printer and the back of my Honda) are here to make sure you endure this time effectively.
Friday we covered Sled Day rules.
But not everyone is about jumping on a sled and zipping down a hill. You people are weird, but I can still work with this.
1. Tip Number 1 for Being Stuck (Blessed to be) Indoors: You Have a Dress Code
Just remember the three word rule: PJs and sweats. Any questions? Actually I like to wear my running pants and running shoes. Because it reminds me of what I'm NOT doing. And that right there is plenty reason to love a snow day.
2. Tip Number 2: Do not let paranoia set in. Fight it. You do this with:
a. Cookies
b. A well stocked fridge
c. boas
d. Hulu
e. The soundtrack to Urban Cowboy
f. Caffeine
g. A close personal relationship with a lady named Little Debbie
h. Cereal (cannot contain: vitamins, minerals, or fiber)
i. Cheetos
j. Books (no classics or manga)
K. At least one lampshade
L. People mags (which contains about the only crossword I'm smart enough to do).Ignore the “what's different in these 2 pictures” page. You will lose your mind.
M. Access to your Halloween wig collection
Tip Number 3: Lazy is the law
If your butt doesn't make an imprint on the couch, you're not doing it right.
If I had had five minutes alone (in a rated G fashion) with Jack from The Shining, that movie would've ended in a choreographed musical number complete with confetti and jazz hands. Don't fight the snow day. Embrace it.
Finally, I was able to break out Saturday and sled with some friends. Highlight of my winter.
My friend Snow Loving Holly. She is a torpoedo
About where the photo cuts off is where the hill drops and you get a little air. This would be the spot I would also get a mouth of snow and spend the rest of the descent facing the opposite direction.
Me and the sweet little girl I plowed into.
She is a trooper. Even with a snow boot in her back.
Sometimes the life of a sledder is hard.
Don't worry. She's not dead. At least not in that picture.
Okay, that's all my advice for now. I don't want to give away all the good stuff before my book The Snow Day Manual hits the shelves. (And if you are an editor or publisher, let the bidding war begin.)
So how about you guys–what's your favorite thing to do on a snow day (or whatever has you stuck at home and workless/school-less)? If your tips are really good, I might list you as a contributor. . . So let's hear it.
JEN
