Is This Only Wednesday?

Before I go any further, I have to get this out of my system. Stick with it. Just when you think it's close-worthy, they change it up.

Did you check out the Jack Black wanna-be? You know he probably left that lobby with some phone numbers. It looked like the lobby of my first dorm. Except that one had fun in it. And people. And paint of this decade.

Things I've learned in the last week:

1. My readers have really blessed me recently. I've received tons of sweet emails lately, and then there's this swanky review of So Over My Head.

2. Summer vaykay couldn't get here quick enough, even though it's all completely booked, and I have no idea how I'm going to squeeze in the massive painting overhaul my house is crying for.

3. I currently have two couches in my small living room. This is because Craig's List is not the “quick selling gold mine” people told me it was. It's a freak show of pervs and spammers. And I refuse to play the perv-spammer game, so I'm currently stuck with enough living room furniture to seat all 90 of my students.

4. Dr. Mercola FREAKS me out on a daily basis, and I don't know why I get his newsletter. Here's a typical example:

Monday: If you don't eat more fish, you're going to die.
Tuesday: Your cell phone is going to kill you, but luckily the FDA is waving red flags.
Wednesday: The FDA is a corrupt bunch of goat worshipers and their red flags were not even biodegradable.
Thursday: If you don't listen to Lawrence Welk and buy 500 dollars of my own brand of supplements, you're going to die.
Friday: All fish are contaminated, and if you've eaten any this week, you're going to die.

5. I'm now shamefully sorry I laughed at Bret Michaels when he got clocked by a descending set at last year's Tony Awards. If I'm not legitimately praying for this man-of-many-hair-extensions, then every rose does not have a thorn.

6. My friend Kari had a baby this week! Welcome to the world Sarah Jane. I will try not to hold it against you that your mom is quitting work as a fellow teacher and ditching me. Because baby sitters aren't that bad. They're character building. And if that's not a good option, how hard would it be to strap the baby on and just teach too? My friend Kari's selfishness is out of control. She's lucky I'm still willing to eat queso with her. On a daily basis.

7. Loved the “love your body shape no matter who you are” episode of Glee this week. I also loved that the cheerleader with Down Syndrome was back. I love that character.  But why is Rachael's boyfriend going to her school? When did that happen?

8. My house smells like a crock pot. I hate the crock pot. I would tell you what I cooked in it, but it doesn't matter. No matter what you put in it, it all smells and tastes the same.

9. Kristin Chenoweth has more talent than a girl has a right to. She is the team leader for short girls. And why does she have such great arms? You should either have one or the other–talent or sinewy biceps. But not both.

10. My Komen Race for the Cure got rained out. Actually about 1600 people showed up, but usually about 15k more are present. I still got up at 5:45, and there are pics of the event (the race, not my getting up at the unholy hour), but let's just say instead of running/walking, my portion of the team (Save the Hooters, complete with owl t-shirt), went out for breakfast instead. My friend Holly's portion of the team finished the race. Waffle-free.

11. Speaking of running, May is national running month. To celebrate I'm going to eat some cupcakes.

12. I'm pretty tuned-out to Idol, but Bowersox was awesome last week.

13. At my school, we got to wear jeans the last half of the month of April. It was awesome. The problem with this is it makes you really dread May. I have enough sick days to miss the whole month and just not show up, but I'm worried they'll start asking for doctor's notes after week two. And I have yet to get a doctor to write me a note for sickness fake-itus aurora borealis.

14. I'm not sorry Kate is gone from Dancing with the Stars, and I refuse to buy into this Kate Propaganda and feel pity for her. I will never feel sorry for someone who routinely invests that much time with self-tanner and hair extensions. Bret Michaels and Barry Manilow being the natural exceptions.

I hope you're having a good week! See you soon.
JEN